It is my honor and privilege to present you with the internet’s very first hands-on review of Hostess’s GHOSTBUSTERS TWINKIES.
Yes, my idea of a hot exclusive is screwy.
Before anyone gets too excited, these aren’t in stores just yet, and may not be until much closer to the film’s late June debut. Tracking down junk food is kind of my passion, but for the layman, they’re not possible to eat just yet.
The internet went wild a few weeks ago, when a photo of the Twinkies leaked on Twitter. If you’re having a hard time imagining people going that crazy over Twinkies, I’ll point you to this photo on Dino Drac’s modest Facebook page, which resulted in roughly two bazillion shares.
Joining the soon-returning Hi-C Ecto Cooler and God knows what else, the Twinkies compel me to repeat a point made on yesterday’s Ghostbusters-stuffed Purple Stuff Podcast. The reboot has been an excruciatingly divisive subject, but the “haters” should take a step back and realize that no matter how they end up feeling about the film, it’s going to mean so much great stuff for the Ghostbusters universe.
(Stuff like Twinkies with “Key Lime Slime” filling.)
In case you’ve forgotten, there’s a perfectly good reason to team Twinkies with Ghostbusters. In the original film, Egon used one to illustrate how much ghost shit was about to rain on New York, citing a bus-length Twinkie that weighed nearly the same amount as former WWF champion, Yokozuna.
Winston’s classic response? “That’s a big Twinkie.”
As seen in the trailer for the reboot, the upcoming film includes a neat nod to that scene. Look close at the second image, and take note of the digital billboard on the middle-left. I find it hard to complain about product placement when that product placement turns Winston Zeddemore quotes into games of Concentration.
At first glance, these Twinkies seem no different from normal ones, with the same spongy flesh and the same “sounds of a fireplace” cellophane wrappers. Only while inspecting the Twinkies’ undersides do we see hints of the psychokinetic dance-offs about to go down.
Upon opening one of the wrappers, I was immediately struck by the smell. Very potent, and very citrusy. The only way I can think to put it: It smelled like a breakfast Twinkie. I’d never even considered the notion of “breakfast Twinkies” before today, so I’ll thank Hostess for making me that much stranger and now wholly incompatible with society at large.
Yup. Definitely a breakfast Twinkie. The lime flavor isn’t overpowering, but it’s pretty pronounced, and since the candy version of key lime pie is generally four times stronger than the real thing, even the blind would have no trouble discerning these from normal Twinkies.
Downing the orange baton with a Coke Zero — because that clearly nullified whatever nutritional atrocities came with the Twinkie — I cannot honestly say that I prefer these to the regular ones. However, if you tossed me a sun hat and suggested tea sandwiches over a game of pinochle, then I might. They are fancy Twinkies.
Well, maybe not so fancy, since the creamy filling was made to look like ectoplasm. That’s all we’re really here for, anyway. It’s less about grading flavors and more about feeling like we’re part of the Ghostbusters universe. To that end, I gotta give Key Lime Slime Twinkies an A+. Eat one, and suddenly you’re a seven-year-old with a plastic proton pack, chasing “supernatural” cats around the house.
As for the box in my possession, my best guess is that it was from a batch of early samples sent to various retailers, used as a means of enticing them to stock the oddball Twinkies in stores. If they don’t hit supermarkets officially until June, oh well, now you have something messy and awesome to look forward to.
Can’t wait to see what other Ghostbusters goodies are on the horizon! By July I’ll have gained 100 pounds and the ability to ward off wild bears with nothing but stern looks.