Happy Thanksgiving, 2015!

Happy Thanksgiving! (You know, if you celebrate it.)

Consider this a hangout thread. In the comments, feel free to share stories about how you’ll be spending the holiday. Did you make any special dishes? Are you doomed for any twelve hour drives? Gonna watch a big ass inflatable Power Ranger float over 34th Street? (Or… gulp… are you stuck working?)

Me, currently: It’s technically Thanksgiving, but really just late Wednesday night. We’re washing clothes, making stuffed mushrooms and trying to strategize the best way to hit two completely different family parties without missing the best aspects from either.

I’m taking a break for a cup of tea, which I don’t normally drink, and am only doing so because another cup of coffee will cause me to instantly drop dead. I hear Roseanne on in the other room — it’s the Thanksgiving episode, wherein Crystal and Ed lay the groundwork for their unlikely tryst. The air stinks of good food and tree-scented candles. I love all of this.

When I wake up, I’ll put on the parade and we’ll finish up the cooking. By this time tomorrow night, I’ll be plowed, enormous, and ready to live in a blanket fort for the remainder of my days.

Thanksgiving marks the true start of the holiday season. A time when we can find joy and purity in congested shopping malls. A time when a casual drives around the neighborhood make you way happier than is reasonable. A whole month of beautifully artificial niceties, gaudy decorations, sweaters, scarves and Snoopy. Yesssss.

Today, I’m thankful for you guys, who’ve justified my continued existence as a Forever Kid. And I’d like to think that we’ve all kind of been that together.

Have a wonderful holiday. Get drunk and say something stupid. Report back.

Mmmm!

PS: Keep an eye on my Instagram account. I’m sure I’ll post ten close-up pictures of weird cheese by the time Thanksgiving is through.

PPS: If you’re doing any Amazon shopping this weekend, do me a favor and browse through this Amazon link. I might make a few bucks and be able to go on more $50 supermarket runs for weird articles about old appetizers.