Guys. I turned a can of Quaker Oats into a haunted castle.
I don’t know what inspired me to do this. Maybe I stole the idea from someone else. If I remember who, I will seek out and thank that person profusely. Turning an oatmeal container into Halloween art just completely made my night. My Friday night, for those keeping score. I wish being a loser paid better.
I didn’t use anything special. Just some construction paper, markers, and an old pair of scissors that made noises like a dying rat upon every cut.
Dying rats do not make fun noises. Like strings from the Psycho theme mixed with someone throwing up.
There’s my castle. Though I suppose it’s more of a “tower.” It’s a haunted tower, and I drew every last brick myself. I didn’t have any grey construction paper, so sheets of lavender got the nod instead.
Don’t make fun of my lavender bricks. I’ll throw them at you.
I made a half-hearted attempt to color the bricks with a grey crayon, but as you can see, only a fraction of them were awarded this blessing. Those bricks think that they’re better than the other bricks. And they kind of are.
In Castle Dino Drac, Eyeball With Legs is king.
Despite the “DO NOT ENTER” sign, you can so tell that Eyeball With Legs wants company. Monsters will rarely admit their need for companionship. Don’t worry, Eyeball With Legs. When I sit next to you and yank out the cards, I’ll pretend that you’re only enduring it for me. Nobody has to know your secret.
Castle Dino Drac is a three-bedroom affair. In bedroom #1 is Tim “Grand Wizard” Curry. In bedroom #2 is Freddy Krueger. And bedroom #3 has an impossibly oversized Christopher Lee. This trio does not get along, and they just totally hate sharing a bathroom.
See, Christopher Lee has boundary issues. He’ll fly in there to shave even while Freddy takes a demon shit two feet away.
And blasted Tim Curry is always trying to rile them up. “I tell you Freddy, I don’t see why Chris’s ablutions are more important than your ablutions.” Then Freddy gets all aggravated because he has no idea what “ablutions” means. It’s hell up there.
Oh, and this guy. Just your everyday “victim” character. BOOORRRIINNG.
Trapped in a haunted tower with a bunch of angry monsters, his only escape is suicide. Victor Victim is seriously thinking about it. One jump, and all of his monsters problems would just disappear.
Victor Victim looks like a distant relative of the guy from the “choking hazard” posters. Everyone from that family is always in some kind of trouble.
The oats did not go to waste. Harley ate them. He thought they were “just okay.”