I’ve been dancing around this subject for years, referencing it in throwaway paragraphs that have done little to capture its supreme mega greatness. Today, finally, I’m going to give Dinosaurs Attack cards everything they’re owed.

Dinosaurs Attack (formally styled with an exclamation point, but we’ll ignore that) was released by Topps in 1988. To this day, I can’t think of another trading card series that’s nearly as gripping — or gory.

The 55-card set told the terrible tale of dinosaurs accidentally summoned from prehistoric times to present day. Instead of being the dangerous but “natural” nuisances you might expect them to be, the dinosaurs in this card set were singularly focused on the bloody annihilation of the human race. As the title suggests, all they did was attack, in unforgettably macabre fashion. It wasn’t just the story of dinosaurs set loose in modern times — it was the absolute worst case scenario.

Cited as a parody of decades-old creature features, the gore was heavier here than in any movie I’ve ever seen. It’s not so shocking now, but as a nine-year-old who hid under the pillow at the first sight of an Elm Street promo, these cards seemed downright EVIL. (Of course, that only made them all the more interesting!) Read More…

IMPORTANT: If you’re looking to subscribe to the Funpacks, this is an older post. Check out the new subscription page here!

Dino Drac Funpacks are back! And this time, here to stay. At least for the foreseeable future.

Here’s the deal. I’m coming into that stretch of the year when I toss aside everything to run the site, racking up major expenses and doing it on the arm. Moving forward, that’s something I can no longer do. I have to take some different steps.

I’ve hinted at this on social outlets and have gotten some suggestions, but I had a lot of luck with these Funpacks in the past, and everyone seemed to enjoy them. (See some previous editions here and here!)

The problem in the past is that they’ve been too scattered to really make a dent. Whatever profits they bring are quickly gobbled by continuing to do the site — paying for it to run, buying all of this stuff to review, and spending crazy amounts of time to put it all together.

If nothing else, I need to do something that will curb the losses — especially in these upcoming heavy months. And I think this could be a fun way to do it!

If you’re familiar with the prior Funpacks, you know what you’re in for — a package full of old and new goodies, from trading cards to comics to toys to candy, mixed with a few site-specific “custom” items. The difference this time is that I’ll be offering them on a monthly subscription basis. Sign up once, and you’re good to go for as long as I continue doing them. (Right now, I’m looking at a 5-6 month sprint, but if they take off and perform well enough, maybe they’ll continue.) You can cancel at any time, of course. Read More…

So after a month’s worth of pleasant experiences, I was finally reminded of why I stopped going to yard sales to begin with.

I did find some nice things, but between the sellers and the buyers, every stop brought five new annoyances.

Sellers were the big problem. I lost interest in yard sales when people started charging eBay prices, and that was on full display. At the first of Saturday’s sales, we saw a homeowner basically tell someone to leave her property, insulted that the would-be customer wanted to pay $20 rather than $24 for a box of nearly-worthless Christmas ornaments. That same woman wanted $3 per VHS tape, even though 80% of them were of the Barney & Friends variety, and none of them had boxes.

We also went to a couple of estate sales, where the sellers were even worse. Around here, estate sales generally aren’t run by grieving families, but by outside people that they hire. I don’t know the specifics of their arrangements, but those people must work on a percentage rather than a flat rate, because holy fuck were they asking for ridiculous amounts of money.

Some of the buyers were no better. At one estate sale, an obvious dealer was running ahead of us all over the house, I guess to make sure he could pick out the good stuff first. Literally just darting in front of us, lest we get to that flimsy 1975 magazine rack before he could.

We went upstairs, and he immediately followed. We started joking about a really old chair in the bedroom, saying it would look great in our living room. We were obviously insincere, but that didn’t stop the dick from practically mowing us down to claim it. When you’re willing to be a rude jerk to total strangers so you can make a few dollars off of some dead woman’s busted chair, it’s time to Google around for deficiency quizzes.

At the final yard sale of the afternoon, someone had a bucket of Hot Wheels that looked like they’d spent ten years in dirt and almost as many with a really heavy guy stepping on them. “$40 for the whole pail. I can’t break the set.” Set? What set? The cars were only associable by the fact that they were all broken and dirty. I wanted one because a mangled Hot Wheels car is among the greatest symbols of yard sales, but I didn’t need a full “set.”

Oh well, I still scored some decent stuff! Read More…