Teddy Grahams Peanut Brittle. Yup.
There I was, paging through an old Nabisco cookbook, as one does when they’re on the 735th day of quarantine. When I spotted an entry for what Nabisco called Very Beary Peanut Brittle, I knew that everything was about to change, and change big.
It was a common (if simplified) recipe for peanut brittle, but with the glorious addition of Teddy Grahams. I thought I knew my personal buttons pretty well, but this one slid by me. As soon as I saw that photo of cute little Teddy Grahams trapped in sugary Jurassic Park amber, my brain only had space for Very Beary Peanut Brittle.
Knowing that it’d be somewhat lacking in tact to head out during a pandemic just for Teddy Grahams, I waited until we needed some truly essential items — like Mountain Dew Frost Bite, which has a bomb-ass arctic shark on the label. (I’m kidding. It was for like, food and paper towels. But I did grab the Frost Bite, too.)
The other ingredients included corn syrup, vanilla extract, baking soda, sugar, butter and cocktail peanuts. Given that lineup, I knew I’d end up with something delicious. I wasn’t sure if it’d be peanut brittle, exactly, but I was willing to try.
PS: I’m so fascinated by Teddy Grahams. They’ve managed to survive in stores for what, 32 years now? Clearly they mean something to many of you. For me, they’ve been a bit of a blind spot, I suppose because I consider graham crackers only a small step above those biscuits you feed zoo llamas. Like with the llama biscuits, I enjoy graham crackers, but I’d never pick them from an aisle full of chocolate chips and neon sprinkles. Read More…
Movie Theater Memories: Part 2!
A short while back, I wrote about some of my experiences at movie theaters. The article got a good response, and I’m a slave to good responses. Let’s do it again.
Below are five more stories about movies I saw in theaters. Like last time, they’re less about the actual films and more about the surrounding circumstances. Those are the parts that mean the most to me, anyway.
Transformers: The Movie
(August 1986)
It was me, my same-aged best friend from across the street, and his slightly older brother. My mother was driving us to see Transformers: The Movie. It wouldn’t be the first animated film we’d seen in theaters, but it was the first one that mattered more than food or oxygen.
We were HYPED UP, because the TV spots made the movie seem so much bigger and more aggressive than the cartoon series. Which, of course, it was.
One of those TV spots even hinted at Prime’s death, but I didn’t pay it much mind. Cartoon characters didn’t die! Not the important ones, anyway. Certainly not Optimus Prime!
I pleaded my case in the car, but my friend’s brother had a different theory: “I think he’s gonna die because they didn’t say anything about Megatron!” Huh, that was true. The commercials pondered a world without Optimus, but never a world without Megatron. In retrospect, it wasn’t the strongest argument, but at the time, I was very concerned.
After we got our tickets and snacks, it was time to find our seats. I remember glancing at that giant Transformers: The Movie standee one last time before we entered the theater. Optimus Prime was nowhere on it.
Oh, shit. Read More…
Dino Drac’s April Funpack Has Arrived!
A number of Funpack subscribers got in touch last month to let me know what a welcome distraction they were, and man did that make me feel good. To those of you “on the list,” I hope they let you break into an alternate reality where the only things that matter are junk food and goofy fun — even if only for an hour or two!
UNITED STATES ONLY! LIMITED TIME, LIMITED SUPPLY!
The April 2020 Funpack is a close cousin to last month’s in scope, though all of the actual items are completely different. There are over a dozen treasures in this baby, covering everything from bad/good movies to weird art to adorably teensy Cookie Monster dolls. You’re gonna love it.
Funpack subscriptions are $25 a month (including shipping), and for as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll get boxes of awesome old-and-new nonsense each and every month. (You can cancel whenever ya want without penalty, of course!)
Scroll to the bottom for ordering info, or keep reading to learn about everything in the April Funpack! Read More…
Purple Stuff: Eight Creepy Commercials!
Some of my friends have been shielding themselves from the Perpetually Unsettling News with horror movies. I totally get it, because I’ve been doing it too. I guess it’s a matter of replacing bad and lasting scares with the good and fleeting kind? Considering his bladed glove, it’s ironic how Freddy can take the edge off.
That may explain why we picked this particular subject for the latest Purple Stuff Podcast. It’s an episode that might be more at home in October, but goddamn, it’s exactly what we needed right now.
This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit discuss eight of our all-time favorite SCARY TV COMMERCIALS, covering everything from haunted fruit snacks to the time the Gremlins starred in a drunk driving PSA. Lots of heavy hitters in this batch!
>>> Click here to listen to the new episode!
(If you subscribe to the Purple Stuff Podcast on iTunes, Stitcher or whatever, it should be on there, too!)
Oh, and if you wanna watch along, here’s a playlist of every commercial mentioned on the show:
Some are from my personal collection; others were only available to us thanks to several YouTubers who work hard to preserve this stuff. (For instance, props to Retrontario for that eye shrapnel PSA!)
Hope you guys dig the show. The Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where you can grab an extra bonus episode every month, along with some other things. Thanks for all of your support on there!
It’s still pretty early in the month, so who knows — we may hit ya with another full-length episode sooner than you expect!