Purple Stuff tackles Friday the 13th: The Series!
Friday the 13th: The Series had long been a blind spot for me, but now that I’ve gotten better acquainted, I’m on my way to becoming a big fan. Mix The X-Files into The Conjuring universe, and add several dashes of Tales from the Darkside. That’s the vibe. You won’t even miss Jason Voorhees!
Me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit got our hands on a 1988 copy of a particular episode, complete with the original commercials. Naturally, we needed to do a podcast on it. Even if you’re not terribly interested in our thoughts about a random episode of an old TV show, stick around for discussions about Roger Rabbit, Roy Rogers and 7UP Gold!
Click here to listen to this week’s episode!
But wait! Before you do, you may be interested in this video…
Here’s the whole shebang, complete with ads! From the show’s first season, What a Mother Wouldn’t Do is about a cursed cradle that can keep a sick baby alive so long as her mother goes on a murder spree. I really dug this one, and it’s inspired me to dive into the rest of the series.
The commercials include everything from zany hotlines to a promo for Monkey Shines, so there’s a lot to love in this one. Between the episode and our podcast, consider yourselves BOOKED for two whole hours.
As a reminder, the Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where you can grab an exclusive bonus show each and every month. (June’s will be released soon!)
Thanks as always for your ears, and enjoy the show! Below are some screengrabs from the various commercials we’ll be discussing: Read More…
Dino Drac’s June Funpack is here!
It sure doesn’t feel like it, but we’re about to enter the summer season. Kinda feels like it’ll be a wash in 2020, which was why I wanted to give this month’s Funpack a decidedly summery flavor. You may not be able to hit many arcades this year, but at least you’ll get this!
U.S. ONLY! LIMITED SUPPLY! ONE DAY ONLY!
With around a dozen items in all, the June 2020 Funpack is summer in a box. You’ll get everything from a weird movie to awesome candy to old school collectibles, and — if you’re lucky — something with a Ninja Turtle on it.
You know the deal by now. The Funpacks are $25 a month (including shipping), and for as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll keep getting boxes of old-and-new goodies each and every month. (You can cancel anytime without penalty, of course!)
Scroll to the bottom for ordering info, or keep reading to learn about everything in the June Funpack! Read More…
Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 36!
It’s a bit soon for another edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, but my brain is being pulled in a thousand directions (join the club, I know), and writing three paragraphs about thirty-second things is all I’m sure I can do reasonably well.
In today’s batch: Ewoks, eggs and Unsolved Mysteries. Pretty solid mix if you’re an aspiring detective who likes Star Wars movies, and it’s early.
Tales from the Darkside! (1988)
I think I’ve seen enough old Tales from the Darkside promos to understand how they worked. Seems like the people behind the show created “skinnable” promos for each episode, which the various networks that carried the series — and TFTD was syndicated, so there were a lot of networks in play — could then “repackage” to better fit their brands.
Tl;dr: I doubt this promo’s producers had PHL17’s Saved by the Bell graphics in mind when they created it, but by that point, it was out of their hands. I love the menacing shot of that phone chilling over the background from my 3rd grade school photo.
This specific promo was for one of the show’s best episodes, Sorry, Right Number, which was written by Stephen King. (Not adapted from a King story; I’m saying he wrote it specifically for Tales from the Darkside.) I don’t want to spoil the twist, so hopefully the fact that it stars the mother from Just the Ten of Us is enough to make you curious.
Snickers Ice Cream Bar! (1993)
If I’ve pieced things together correctly, Snickers Ice Cream Bars had a limited rollout in ‘89 and ‘90, with the big national blitz happening in 1991. That tracks with how I remember it, anyway.
They were wildly popular in the early ‘90s, to the point where I might even classify the bars as a “fad food.” At least within my middle school demo, it was *the* ice cream — the thing we picked 9 times out of 10. Snickers Ice Cream Bars had a figurative cool factor to match their literal one. We ate them because they were delicious, but also because they raised our social stock by a good 5%.
Snickers Ice Cream Bars are still made today, but they’re no longer sold in those swank cream-colored wrappers. Lord knows what sort of contrarian-ass focus group led Snickers to make such a stupid change, but I’m still mad at everyone involved. Read More…
Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 35!
I take pride in letting Dino Drac be a distraction from the real world, but to ignore the real world this week is beyond gross. Here’s a list of Black Lives Matter fundraisers that you should consider donating to. There are many orgs on that list that are purely humanitarian, and I’d like to believe that everyone can find causes in there to get behind.
Take your time. This article will still be here later. Below is the latest edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, featuring everything from Garfield-endorsed ravioli to Matt-endorsed Dorothy Zbornak.
TMNT Badges at Burger King! (1990)
With their cartoon, toy line and movie all white hot, the Ninja Turtles completely owned 1990. Or at least co-owned it with Bart Simpson. Life must’ve been wretched for kids who hated the Turtles, because they were everywhere.
“Everywhere” included Burger King. Especially Burger King! Aside from the BK-exclusive TMNT videotapes that literally every person on the planet owned, there was also this collection of “badges” — large, clip-on wearables that straddled the line between toys and jewelry. One free with every Kids Club Meal!
BK was never my preferred fast food joint, but I gleefully traded Ronald’s McNuggets for the King’s Chicken Tenders whenever they came with hot Leonardo swag.
As for the commercial embedded above, it remains the only piece of media starring the Ninja Turtles, Kid Vid and Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Garfield Ravioli! (1994)
Arriving in 1994, Garfield Ravioli survived in stores through 1998. It only had major distribution in its first year, though, which explains why so few people remember it.
I, luckily, am among those people. I can’t say that I was especially into Garfield in 1994, but I was especially into ravioli bombs that were stuffed to the point of obscenity. About half as large as avocado pits but nearly as round, each piece was like an Italian dumpling. Smack gnocchi with a Thunder Stone, and you’re in the area.
Garfield drifts in and out of broad relevance like a leaf blowing in the wind. In 1994, I guess the argument was that a Saturday morning cartoon star could still carry canned pasta even in his waning years. I don’t have the box office receipts, but from a critical perspective, Garfield Ravioli got five stars. Read More…