Dinosaur Dracula!

Five Random Action Figures, Part 13!

We’re in the middle of a blizzard, and it’ll be a miracle if I’m able to finish this article before the power goes out. If I sound like I’m rushing… I am!

So, onward with the thirteenth edition of Five Random Action Figures. I took these photos over the weekend, hoping to capitalize on a picturesque snow dusting. Little did I know that I’d have forty feet of it to work with just two days later.


a-trollCornelius the Samurai
Stone Protectors, 1993

Stone Protectors was one of several toy lines made to swipe glow from the Norfin Troll craze, but it was also arguably the best of them. Boosted by an animated series and a Super Nintendo game, this was the story of a shitty rock band turned into screwy Troll superheroes by the power of five magic stones. (I’m serious. That was the concept.)

Most Troll-themed action figures were made on the cheap, relying on poofy hair to keep people from noticing a lack of articulation and other finer details. That wasn’t the case with Stone Protectors, which would’ve been right at home in Playmates’ old Ninja Turtles line. The figures were bright, detailed and poseable, and they came with plenty of accessories. Of course, no Troll is complete without funky “real” hair, so Stone Protectors had that going for ‘em, too.

Cornelius here was the team leader, and probably my favorite from the set. How can you not love a Troll with electric yellow hair who is both a rock vocalist and a goddamned samurai? Is that what they mean by a slash career?

In a neat touch, you can move Cornelius’s arm to make his chest jewel “spark.” (Picture a lighter that can’t maintain a flame. Cornelius’s sparking jewel worked something like that.)

The line wasn’t a big success in its day, and hasn’t caught on with collectors since. That’s good news for you, because Stone Protectors figures are absolutely boss, and you should have to pay three times more than you’ll actually need to. Act fast, before everyone smartens up. (more…)

The True Legends “Tree Warrior.”

Okay guys, we need to talk about Tree Warrior.


Tree Warrior is part of the True Legends line, a collection of low cost, lower quality fantasy toys.

If you’re a TRU hound, you’ve probably seen their aisle full of True Legends offerings, ranging from battle-ready elves to giant neon dragons. The toys cut a few corners to make sense of their fantastically low retail prices, but the themes are great and they really do look good.

I was happy enough to admire them from afar, but there’s just no turning down Tree Warrior. Someone on Facebook gave me the tip, and I would’ve gladly spent triple what Toys “R” Us wanted. (A mere ten bucks!) (more…)

Five Random Action Figures, Part 12!

It’s time for the twelfth edition of Five Random Action Figures! (Three of these were picked up just this week. Thank you, mysterious and awesome local comic book shop that’s apparently been hiding in plain sight since last spring.)


a-venkPeter Venkman
The Real Ghostbusters, 1986

Most of the praise I lavish on Kenner’s Real Ghostbusters line is thanks to the, erm, ghosts, but the actual Ghostbusters were just as inspired. They’d ultimately get umpteen upgrades with all sorts of new outfits and features, but I’ve always been partial to the originals.

Peter here has seen better days, but even with a half-broken Neutrona Blaster, I think you can still see the appeal. For one thing, the figure was a near-perfect representation of the cartoon character, assuming you can forgive Peter’s weirdly radioactive eyes. (And if there’s anything that’s forgivable by default, it’s weirdly radioactive eyes.)

The big draw was the accessories. Venkman came with a mini ghost, a Proton Pack and a Neutrona Blaster that perpetually spit a swirling proton beam. (The beam is longer than the figure itself!)

I got Peter for a song, and adding my recent acquisitions of Ray and Winston from that eBay mixed lot, I’m one Egon away from completing the world’s most play-worn set of Real Ghostbusters figures. Go me, I guess. (more…)

Awesome & Expensive Junk on eBay.


I’ve been keeping an eye on a few eBay auctions despite having no plans to actually bid, out of sheer amazement that people have such rare stuff to sell. Like, how the hell do you end up with 59 Fireball Island board games?

Most of these treasures will ultimately make quiet exits, remembered only be the few who were lucky enough to stumble upon their auction listings. So you can consider this post my way of making sure that certain items of the “holy shit” variety have a forever home on the internet.


Store Display of Masters of the Universe Slime!
Asking Price: $1249.00
Photo by great-items | Auction Link

The auction listing is presently inactive, but I’ve been tracking it for months, and I’m sure the seller will give it another go sooner or later. What a find! A complete store display of Masters of the Universe Slime!

Next to Modulok, those cans of Slime were probably my favorite items from the vintage MOTU line. Most of us associate them with the legendary Slime Pit playset, but Mattel was just as interested in selling them separately. (I have such fond memories of this exact display being right beside the register in our mall’s long gone Kay Bee.)

The cans were also used a promotional device, given away free to anyone who bought two He-Man figures over a certain time period. Of the 28 cans in this display, 9 of them have stickers for that very promotion.

According to the seller, less than a third of the cans have dried out. At around 45 bucks a can, this actually isn’t too bad of a deal! (While sealed Slime cans have been sold for cheaper, it’s pretty tough to find them with still-gooey contents.) (more…)