Toys

Okay, so there’s this huge indoor/outdoor flea market in Englishtown that I’ve been going to for like, twenty years now. It’d been a long time since my previous visit, so yesterday afternoon, we drove out to see what treasures awaited. Turned out, not many treasures awaited. It’s t

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and with it, tons of new candies and novelties in shades that fall somewhere between bubble gum pink and horse blood red. I normally don’t pay too close attention to these things, but the 2013 haul is pretty interesting. I’ll cover a few of my fin

From kindergarten through the third grade, I don’t think a school day went by that I didn’t see at least six dozen of those plastic “charms.” You know, the ones with the little bells attached, typically clipped onto long neon chains? This photo tells the story better than I can: Th

Below are thoughts about five random ‘80s action figures. Well, random to you, but very important to me. I chose these five because blah blah blah, something something, who cares, nobody reads intros. I’ll just use this space to practice the ol’ text whistle. Whhhrrreeeeeee. Sooo

It’s been ages since the last Vintage Vending post. Let’s fix that. Pinpointing an exact date is impossible. All I can be sure of is that these came out in the ‘80s. The “Moon Monster” title was just their way of skirting copyright issues, because these are obviously Godzilla toy

It was Christmas Day, 1986. Maybe ’87. Let’s say ’87. Thank God for my friend across the street. As mentioned before, my family celebrates on Christmas Eve and celebrates it hard. Christmas Day was never much of anything in our house, and in some ways, it was actually dep

Longtime readers know that I’m a huge fan of the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special, from 1985. (Officially titled He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special, but that shit’s clunky.) I watched it on that long ago December night with my older brother, and to this day, we still quo

My friend “D” mailed me a spooky care package, and among its incredible contents was one of RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks. The one that looks like a pumpkin. My first thought? “Pretty cool.” My second thought? To run out and buy the remaining two Halloween Color Blanks

Today, you’re going to see the spirits of the dead run a lemonade stand. TGIF! Okay, so it isn’t a lemonade stand. It’s a snow cone stand. The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine, made by Lanard in 1985, was an incredibly strange attempt to steal shine from the Ghostbusters craze. I’m not

His name is Count Heave-a-Heart. He’s one of the Blurp Balls. His ocular veins look like the letter “Y” repeated thirteen times. Very rare toys with a cult following that just won’t die, the Blurp Balls arrived in 1991, and were essentially uber versions of Madballs. G

I doubt that more than three of you remember them, but I don’t care. These candy pails, distributed by Mars back in ’89, meant the world to me. Even today, I look at them and see everything good about Halloween. I can’t remember the specifics of the promotion, but it went something l

If you were reading X-E last November, you might remember my tribute to Matchbox’s Con-Nect-Ables, a line of plastic cars which broke into pieces that could be mixed-and-matched to create bizarre vehicles that were part truck, part helicopter. If I had to guess, nobody came here expectin

One of the less-referenced reasons why Playmates’ old Ninja Turtles toys were so great was that they were so strange, and nothing proves it quite like the Sewer Exploration Belt, from 1990. A kid-sized arsenal of goofy crap in the vein of Batman’s utility belt, it covered every base. A

I feel I’ve committed a grave sin in having waited this long to say anything about The Trash Pack, a line of wonderful little monster figures made by Moose Toys. On the scale of M.U.S.C.L.E. but with the sensibility of Madballs, this is the exact kind of thing that someone like me should

Okay, technically, I found “Kraang,” not “Krang.” But still. I got some e-mails asking if I was gonna cover the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, spun from the fast approaching Nickelodeon show. Well, of course. But it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t start with Krang. S

At one of those random discount stores, there he was. Buried deep in a pile a Nissin Cup Noodles in flavors that haven’t existed since 1998, there he was. I’ve named him Kid Galaxy. He is a wonderful wadio-controlled wobot. Presented as an easy-to-operate doodad for only the youngest o

I reserve the right to cover Stretch Screamers again sometime. I love the things, and a ten minute video of me trying to open boxes just doesn’t go far enough to show how much. If you don’t remember them, Stretch Screamers was a line of fantastic, stretchy monsters.  BIG ones.

It’s been weeks since I’ve put anything of substance on Dinosaur Dracula, but man, I had a good reason. Working with some new folks on some new things, and it’s been a blast so far. I love what I’m doing, but I haaaate the timing. I didn’t even get a whole month to enjoy the

He may have turned up in a photo before, but I think it’s time for you to officially meet Carlo. Carlo is great. He’s great for way more than five reasons, but I’m on a tight time budget. Actually, just going by the photo above, I’m sure you could dream up more than twenty reasons<

One thing I dig about Dino Drac is the chance to get even more mileage out of things I’ve already covered a hundred times. Yay for Boglins! If you don’t remember them, Boglins were monstrous, rubber hand puppets that came out in the late ’80s, ready to rock our worlds wit

I was always more into the action figures, but The Real Ghostbusters collection was truly a “pretend play” pioneer. The Proton Pack came out in 1986. Every boy I knew had one. There was no room for “maybes” on the chance to become a real, live Ghostbuster. A chance to make lots of

I grew up swearing that “Brain” was the best Gremlin ever. He isn’t. You might remember Brain from Gremlins 2. He’s the one who gained the ability to speak, and used that ability to sing “New York, New York” while other Gremlins sorted through crates of plastic explosives. Brai