Dino Drac Creepy Stupid Funpacks! (Sold Out!)

This next week’s going to be pretty light on serious content, as I have about a million things to get done in preparation for the 2013 Halloween Countdown. Which starts NEXT FREAKIN’ SATURDAY, YASE YASE YASE.

Remember to keep up with the site on Facebook and Twitter in the meantime. Once the Countdown starts, it’s not stopping for two straight months.

Now then!

After the somewhat surprising success of the Cruel Summer Funpacks, I was motivated to test out the law of diminishing returns.

Introducing… Dino Drac’s Creepy Stupid Funpacks!

For $22.63 (shipping included), you’ll get a package just like one of the examples shown above. This time, it’s a mix of classic nostalgia items along with a few hints of Halloween. Here’s the quick-and-dirty breakdown…

Each Creepy Stupid Funpack includes:

– One random sealed pack of Life Savers Holes, from the early ‘90s!
– One random vintage cereal premium, still sealed!
– A Thundercats “Snarf” pencil topper OR a Slimer candy head!
– One vintage Hi-C/Real Ghostbusters lunch sack!
– One random pack of old trading cards + a few loose cards thrown in!
– A small but sincere pile of Halloween toys and novelties!
– An exclusive photo of Shrunken Apple Head, signed by the man/fruit himself!

No two packs are exactly alike, but the above photos ARE of actual Funpacks – so you’ll be getting something like that!

If you’re already sold, skip to the bottom for ordering info. If not, let me see how I can make this stuff sound interesting…

You WILL receive one SEALED pack of vintage LIFE SAVERS HOLES, and make no mistake, that’s where most of your money is going. These aren’t easy to come by! You’ll receive one random flavor (sorry, no picking), and I must clarify that you should NOT eat this candy. It’s VERY old, and even though the packs have never been unsealed, the candy tends to congeal into single masses of death! Look and love, but do not eat!

You WILL receive ONE of these two items! You’ll either get a vintage Thundercats “Snarf” pencil topper, OR a vintage Slimer candy head! The Snarf figure was part of an ancient Burger King promotion. The Slimer candy heads still have their candy inside, but again, THIS IS NOT FOR EATING!

(Sorry, no choosing! I don’t have enough of either to take requests!)

You WILL receive ONE vintage Hi-C lunch sack, featuring The Real Ghostbusters! Some sacks feature Slimer, while others feature the classic Ghostbusters logo.

NOTE: Bags will be folded (once) before shipping, as otherwise they’re too tall for any reasonably-sized envelope. The bags shown in the above photo were already folded, so that’s the kind of crease you’ll be looking at. Unsightly, ain’t it?

You WILL receive ONE vintage cereal premium from the ‘80s or ‘90s! I have TONS of these, and the two shown above are just some of the MANY examples. All I can guarantee you is that you’ll get a vintage cereal prize in unused condition. Beyond that, it’s a surprise! (Don’t worry – I’m being conscious of excluding any serious duds from the Funpacks.)

You WILL receive one random pack of old trading cards, plus a couple of loose ones. I have just enough left over from the Cruel Summer Funpacks to squeeze ‘em in here. Feeling lucky?

You WILL receive a handful of random Halloween junk! There’s a big variety of items going into these Funpacks, so the above photo is just one potential example of what you’ll receive. No matter what you get, it’ll be enough to lift your Halloween spirit. Smart money says you’ll get something made of rubber and at least one goofy ring. Wait and see! (PS, if you care – this stuff is pretty old!)

Last but not least, you WILL receive a glossy color photo of SHRUNKEN APPLE HEAD, signed by… SHRUNKEN APPLE HEAD! These photos are exclusive to the Creepy Stupid Funpacks and will not be sold again.

Whew. I think that’s it.

Everything will be shipped in a padded envelope, same as the Cruel Summer Funpacks were.

Your cost? $22.63. Yeah, it was arbitrary. Mostly.

To order, click the button below. United States only, please! If you have a Paypal account, great, but even if you don’t, I believe you can still order with any major credit card. Proceeds from this endeavor will go towards making the next several months of Dinosaur Dracula a little less of a financial burden.

That was fast! The Creepy Stupid Funpacks are sold out in their “official” capacity, but if you’re desperate for nonsense, I do have a few — literally just a few — backup packs with slightly modified inclusions. E-mail me for the scoop — first come, first served! Will get back to you on Monday. Thanks!

56 Responses to Dino Drac Creepy Stupid Funpacks! (Sold Out!)

  1. Sweet! I totally want to order this if the wife lets me get away with it. Is it me, or does the closeup of Slimer look like he is cupping his man (ghost?) boobs?

  2. What’s the cut off for ordering? Im totally in but don’t get paid until Friday!

  3. Awesome stuff. I think I liked the last ones more, but even something that’s great but not as great is still great.

    (Sorry, DK and BttFII trading cards are hard to top for me. I’d say that notwithstanding, these are better on the whole. =) )

    I can only curse my Canadianness once again.

  4. Aaaaaand ordered. Fingers crossed for some sweet, sweet TGIF trading cards and a skeleton guy. (And a Slimer if fortune really smiles upon me.)

  5. I totally remember getting the Garfield bike reflector. It was in a cereal I didn’t normally buy since I loved Garfield like CRAZY. This is why I love you Matt, you bring the nostalgia rushing back. And, you know, Halloween which I am about as pleased as punch will be starting next Saturday!

  6. @Tendoman: They’re on sale until I run out, but I guess Life Savers Holes are pretty popular, because nearly half of them are gone! (However, sales tend to slow down after the initial rush.)

    Unfortunately I’m locked to the limitedness because I only have so many of the items. (Less of these than the Cruel Summers. I only had to stop selling Cruel Summers when I ran out of monkeys! This time, it’s the Life Savers.)

  7. And thank you everyone else! These are fun to do and people seemed happy with the last ones. Hopefully they will like these, too!

    (The Life Savers are of particular interest, of course, because good luck finding them elsewhere, especially sealed. Last time, though nobody would suspect it, the monkeys were actually the most valuable item — they were essentially “cousins” of the expensive ’60s jiggler toys.)

  8. ah dam! you just had to up the ante with shrunken apple head…autographed too! still can’t afford it…but seriously…I am putting the finishing touches on YOUR halloween gift matt. I just have some recovery issues from knee surgery, and haven’t felt like painting lately…and with the meds I’m om, I’m sure you don’ want a necklace of a zombie unicorn eating it’s own rainbow feces…though if someone DOES want one…I can take orders in a couple weeks and send some mock ups…lol. Cannot wait til my wheel chair arrives!!!! target here I come! I have pics of your gift in progress, but not sure if I should show anyone…..I would love to support your funpack, but since it’s profits are to supply the countdown, as I said, your gift will contribute to the count down in a most excellent way my dude.

  9. Love it! Ordered one- and fyi I would be very interested if you had a christmas themed pack in the future- can’t wait for the halloween countdown!

  10. NO worries, Mandy! Obviously, there’s a hint of “support the site by buying this thing” to these packs, but I’m also trying to construct things that people would actually want to buy. So nobody should feel urged if they cannot afford one or just don’t want it. :) By keeping them as legit “products,” I can keep my nose clean, so to speak.

  11. Thanks cb — and I’d say that’s likely!

    These were a short-run pack, so over half are gone already. (I wasn’t expecting that! So long as the link stays up, I have some left. But it looks like they will out of stock soon enough.)

  12. It’s the calm before the Halloween storm! :D

  13. Got one! Thanks Matt. The thrill of rolling the dice on getting a Balki trading card is worth the $22.63 alone.

    Glad we can help out with funding the Halloween countdown. It’s the least we can do with all the awesome content you give us every Halloween season.

  14. Not sure if you want to answer this so early but… Since you’re doing this fundraiser does that mean you won’t be doing a poster this year?

  15. @drew do: There will be a new Halloween print this year. :)

  16. Why do you sell these things when I have to pay rent? Oh, to have disposable income…

  17. @Matt I’m sorry but I have to opt out of this one. My daughter returns school in a couples of week and I need to focus my resources on gearing her up correctly. I do plan on buy future offerings from you though when the budget allows.

  18. No worries Carrissa or Shawn — no reason to put yourselves out for a pack! These are pretty limited and I’m fairly confident that all will be gone by the end of tomorrow. There will be more things in the future. :)

  19. Every time you do one of these, I always think what I would give to help you pack these items up. With a lot of my items, mostly the toys, I get such joy imagining how happy the person will be when they get the item. I can just imagine me trying to guess who would like what the most. And gleefully packing away the items.

  20. As a kid I had the Smurf bike license plate and the Garfield bike reflector. Anyone remember what cereal the Garfield came from? I just put my order in for a pack. Glad to help out with the site so you can keep up the great content. Can’t wait for the new Halloween print! How about posting a teaser pic of it? :)

  21. @Goob: I actually had loads of fun packing the last Funpacks. :)

    @JohnV: Thank you! Sorry, no teasers yet! All I can say is that it’s going to be pretty fantastic with a vastly different flavor than last year’s.

  22. You sold me with Shrunken Apple Head. His autograph will hold an esteemed place on the walls of my cubicle, because I physically cannot say no.

  23. Who knows what lurks in the heart of a Dino Drac funpack? The Shadow knows!

    I would order one, but I’m trying to get rid of clutter so adding to it would be counter productive.

  24. These are rad! I totally dig how theres always a theme too… (summer theme for the summer,spooky theme for Halloween)

    You gotta make your next funpacks available for Canadiens!

  25. I know I may not get a Garfield bike reflector but I bought a pack for the mere chance that I COULD. Let me explain. The only time I physically assaulted someone in my life was when I was 6 and this kid named Chaz stole my yellow garfield bike reflector and I’d heard somewhere that kicks to the groin were effective in disabling an opponent. So I made with the groin kick and ran off with my reflector. Via Facebook I was able to find out that Chaz did end up fathering children so I guess i didnt cause any permanent damage..ah memories. I just wish I hadn’t lost the dang reflector like a week later…

  26. There should be a funpack for every holiday.

  27. Manohmanohmanohmanohman, how I want this!

    I’d give the Ghosbusters stuff to my Slimer obsessed daughter and I would be framing the hell out of Shrunken Applehead’s photo… Of course then I’d be bringing my middle son to the hospital for eating old candy even with giving him mutiple warnings.

  28. Sorry, they went quicker than I thought!

  29. I second the suggestion of doing this again for Christmas.

  30. Had my girlfriend put in my order last night. Cant wait till it gets here!

  31. DAMN. I wanted one exclusively for the shrunken apple head photo. I LOVE that guy!

  32. Doh! I have a very strong nostalgic tie to the Tangerine Life Saves Holes. I used always carry them on my while biking around the neighborhood as a kid. I would have killed for a sealed pack! Well, maybe not actually murdered, but possibly attacked with a steel chair and painted “nWo” on the back of an unsuspecting victim.

  33. Why does Shrunken Appeal Head sign his name “Shrunken Head Apple?” Is one of those his last name or something, like signing “Smith, Joe?”

  34. And of course I missed this. Damn it.

  35. @Tim
    What a touching childhood memory. As I recall I closed my eyes and socked my tormentor in the head when he held his tricycle up in the air and threatened to to hit me with it. One too many times.

    Matt, please send shrunken apple head to Sears for a full photo shoot. and I’d really like a pic of him riding the bike through the air with ET.

  36. Ooo! Ooo! Was the 22.63 price point to commemorate the assassination of JFK for some reason?!

  37. It’s all about the conspiracy yo, Mad Matt is in your brainnns.

  38. It you add the numbers 22.63 up individually you get 13. The 13th letter of the alphabet it M. For Mad Matt. Or Michael Myers. or Mr Roper who starred in THREE’S COMPANY and had a small part in CHUD 2:BUD THE CHUD. Diabolically clever.

  39. FYI: All Creepy Summer Funpacks were shipped this morning. All should arrive on or before Friday. Whew! Thanks again.

  40. Crawling out of the grave and returning to DD after a 2 month hiatus, this is your official DJ D catch-up comment.

    I’ve spent the last few days catching up on the last couple of months of Dino Drac articles and comments, and brother, it was a doozy. I can’t believe I went that long without so much as glancing at the site. I missed so much! Some thoughts:

    –“The stick is gum”. Very true. Interesting how that almost became the new “Trash Bag Bunch”, but in the end, just couldn’t compete.

    –In the Snakeweed article, you showed an old Corgi Batmobile that had been buried and somewhat ruined. As a Batman fanatic, I have to say that broke my heart a little.

    –Leviathan made the scene!

    –Did anyone else catch Mare Winningham on Under the Dome this week? Mare!

    –Your excitement at the return of Frute Burte and Fruity Yummy Mummy was just the most fun and endearing thing I’ve seen in a long time. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen you worked up that much about anything.

    –Joker/Freddy at the Monster Mania! Holy crap that would have made my year! With a side of R2D2? What a great con experience! I’ve been lucky enough to have a couple of those types of things myself. Good for you. Those are the types of stories you never get sick of telling.

    Well, that’s all I got. It’s about 4:30am and I’ve got to get up for a dentist appointment in the morning. Sorry I disappeared for a while. The day (night) job’s been kicking my ass and we’re just getting busier, but I promise I won’t split for that long again. How could I? The Countdown’s on the way.

  41. 2 days until the Halloween countdown begins!!!!

  42. Can’t wait to see what the crazy Christmas fun packs include ;)

  43. I just got my Funpack in the mail and it is indeed both creepy -and- stupid. Great fun and a wonderful start to my favorite holiday season.

    Thanks, Matt..!

  44. Well dangit! I was going to promote this on the site but it appears I am too late. Nooooo!

  45. Received my C.S. Funpack yesterday and it really brought a smile to my face. Some of this will be on my Halloween mood section on my desk at work when it gets a little closer to Halloween. Right now I’m fighting the urge to open the PepOmint Holes. :)

  46. Did everybody have that Garfield reflector? I pulled one out of a cereal box too. I don’t think I ever actually put it on a bike though.

    I’m kinda glad the Creepy Stupid Funpacks sold out, because I was about to talk myself into getting one, and I really don’t have the extra money to spend.

    On another note, I was so excited to find out there was going to be a Monster Mania con a few hours from me, and I had already started making plans to attend. Well, it seems I won’t be able to, because *we* already had plans. Maybe next year :(..

  47. Haven’t gotten my FunPack yet. Of course, mail here in Omaha seems to get here when it wants to. Hopefully will get it today!

  48. @brian and JohnV: Thanks for ordering them, glad they arrived safe and sound!

    @RetroBJ: I believe all were slated to arrive by today, so hopefully yours does too!

    Sorry I’ve been so absent these past few days — mental and actual prep for the Halloween Countdown… which starts at midnight.

  49. Heya Matt, Crystal picked mine outa the mail this morning and brought it to me at work. I love it! All the stuff in is perfect, thanks man. The ghoul-aid almost made me cry though…haha, made my whole week.

  50. Congrats on selling out so quickly.


  52. Hey Matt, my FunPack didn’t arrive today. You did mail it USPS and not UPS, right? The reason I ask is because I ordered some stuff from Amazon and UPS delivered it. Problem is, it wasn’t delivered to my house. My brother-in-law had ordered some stuff as well that was on record saying it was delivered yesterday (at the same time my package from Amazon was supposedly delivered) but no packages showed up. The possible cause? Same address number, different street! Anyway, I’m not surprised my FunPack didn’t arrive today. As I mentioned earlier, the mail here in Omaha seems to take its time (Omaha is a more laid back town, definitely not the rush, rush I got from living in Chicago). I’ve had mail and packages delivered that arrived a day or two later then when they should have been delivered before so I’m not surprised about this. I will let you know when the packages arrives.

  53. @RetroBJ: USPS, yep. Please keep me posted!

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