Dinosaur Dracula!

The 2017 Halloween Mood Table!

If you’re having a hard time getting into the Halloween spirit, I don’t blame you. Everything kinda sucks right now. I’d never tell anyone to put trivial pursuits first, but having small respites from the real world isn’t a bad thing, either.

Besides, I have the perfect thing for people who want to embrace Halloween but need motivation. Here’s this year’s Halloween Mood Table!

I invented the Halloween Mood Table back in 2007. That year, my Halloween spirit hit rock bottom, and the Mood Table was my way to stop the bleeding. It was just a tiny end table topped with a few decorations, but at heart, that’s all a Halloween Mood Table needs to be.

It works a bit like a witch’s altar. Having a Halloween Mood Table means that there will always be one easily accessible place where Halloween is constantly “happening.” You can turn to it in those minutes of need and get quick fixes of spooky spirit. As an added bonus, it just looks cool!

My Mood Tables have grown immense over the years. In fact, the behemoth you’re looking at up there is a bit understated compared to some of the previous editions, which utilized everything from fireplaces to TV sets.

Yours needn’t be so involved. If you want to go big, great, but even the smallest Halloween Mood Table will do the job just fine.

Here’s a closer look at my 2017 Mood Table, in video form: Read More…

The Purple Stuff Podcast goes Monster Mini Golfing!

One of my favorite things about the Halloween season is the constant encouragement to go on silly adventures. How else would I end up playing miniature golf in a glow-in-the-dark dungeon?

In the latest Purple Stuff Podcast minisode, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit play a round of Monster Mini Golf!

If you’ve never heard of that chain, they create absolutely wild indoor courses, where creatures lurk around every corner and everything is bathed in blacklight. It’s pretty great.

Give the show a listen by clicking here!

Aside from our ghoulish golfing tales, you’ll also hear about our horribly misfired attempt to eat pumpkin spice pizza. We even debut the podcast’s brand new theme song!

Happy Friday, y’all. Thanks as always for listening, and for sharing the show around! Read More…

Burger King’s Halloween Whopper: Two Years Later.

Exactly two years ago today, I tried one of Burger King’s Halloween Whoppers. You remember them, right?

The Halloween Whopper was the shining star of the 2015 Halloween season. Even a thousand articles about green excrement couldn’t ruin the moment.

I’ve been running the Halloween Countdown since 2003. Even with all I’ve seen, I’d still probably call the Halloween Whopper the single best spooky food promotion of the last 15+ years. It was completely magnificent. Well, except maybe for that one part.

So taken was I with this beastly burger that I did something a touch nutty, even by my already loose standards:

Yes, I have kept a Halloween Whopper in my freezer for the past two years.

(In its original wrapper, because I truly do consider this a collectible. Send help.)

For verification purposes, I took this photo with a copy of today’s New York Post clearly visible. Notice how Trump seems to be pitching his tax plan specifically to the Whopper?

There’s rarely been a need for trigger warnings on Dino Drac, but this is a special occasion. The next few pictures are of a two-year-old cheeseburger. If that’s the sort of thing that might ruin you, stop reading now. Read More…

Matt Madd 2017: Halloween Junk Bag #3!

Today was an all-in-one video day, so I am now deliriously tired and a sworn enemy of proper sentence structure.

On the bright side… mission accomplished! Here’s the latest Madd Matt video:

Madd Matt’s third bag of random Halloween junk for the 2017 season includes everything from a “spider larva ball” to an adorably tiny pumpkin pail. Watch it above, or in a scary larger size on YouTube.

My next orders of business involve blanket forts and “Do Not Disturb” signs and hopefully a secret cache of fun-sized NutRageous bars.

Thanks for watching the video! Read More…

Grimace from McDonald’s used to be evil.

Y’all remember Grimace, right?

The purple dude, I mean. Ronald McDonald’s de facto best friend.

Throughout my childhood, Grimace was constantly on television, making commercial breaks tolerable with his adorably dopey demeanor and never-say-never attitude. (I’ll remind you that he once caught a literal freakin’ star to give to Ronald for Christmas.)

He was probably the most “purely sweet” character on TV at the time, which is what makes this next part so interesting:

Grimace used to be a VILLAIN.

Yup!

Originally, Grimace was known as The Evil Grimace, a milkshake-stealing monster with four arms and a bad attitude!

That version of the character debuted in 1971, and spent several years as Ronald’s foil. This was all well before my time, and I gotta tell ya, seeing an extra-armed dickhead version of Grimace would’ve totally blown my mind as a kid.

The Evil Grimace even starred in several McDonald’s commercials during the 1970s. Three are collected below: Read More…

12 Spooky Songs for your Halloween Playlist!

It might not feel like it, but it’s the first day of autumn!

Nobody can deny that we’re in the Halloween season now. If you were holding off on taping up cardboard skulls or transforming into a bat or whatever, now is the time!

To help ring in the best season of the year, we’re back with a brand new full-length episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast. This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit add the latest chapter to our Spooky Songs series.

In Spooky Songs IV, we’ll boost your Halloween playlist with a dozen oddball picks, ranging from horrific pop songs to pro-wrestling entrance themes. We did a pretty deep dig on this one!

Give us a listen by clicking the giant, ugly play button down below:

You can also download this week’s episode by right-clicking here.

Thanks so much for listening and for sharing the show around! Without you, there’d be no us! Read More…