Dinosaur Dracula!

Breakfast Cereals from the 1980s.

Just when I thought that I’d mined nostalgia from every conceivable source, in swoops this:

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My buddy Paul generously donated his copy of Connections For Health, an academic textbook (or whatever) from 1986. Its 500 pages offer very little of note, but Paul noticed something awesome on page 79:

An absolutely godly photo of 1980s cereals.

That particular chapter dealt with nutrition, and how people were so often unaware that they were eating garbage. The cereal photo was only there to warn people about the copious amounts of sugar they’d been mindlessly munching, but I know stupid treasure when I see it.

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(Click here to see it bigger!)

Though the book was published in 1986, I’m certain that the photo was taken in ‘84 or ‘85. The shot doesn’t appear to have been dummied up for the book, either — that’s a legit cereal aisle from a legit 1980s supermarket, making the spread ten times as genuine and twenty times cooler.

I enjoy many of today’s cereals, but judging by this photo, it’s clear that breakfast peaked a long ass time ago. I mean, that’s practically a 1985 Toys “R” Us in cereal form. Child advertising standards had yet to fully evolve, and besides, the cereals of the ‘80s tasted way more like out and out candy. It was a golden era. A Super Golden era.

Here’s a closer look at the oaty highlights: Read More…

Things that are scarier than they should be.

We’ve officially crossed the halfway point to Halloween! Course, since so many of us start celebrating in August, that’s even better than it sounds. In just a few short months, we’ll all lose ourselves in a sea of latex and candy and dead leaves. I can’t wait.

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…in honor of this momentous (and momentously made up) occasion, the latest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast gives you a tiny taste of horror!

This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit tackle 12 things that are way scarier than they should be. These aren’t your average scares! We mean stuff like those Emergency Broadcast System tests, the donkey scene from Pinocchio, and maybe even a little Laura Branigan. Sounds weird, but once you hear our explanations, I think you’ll agree with our choices.

Give us a listen by clicking the giant play button below:

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You commuter types can also download this week’s episode by right-clicking here.

Reminder: The Purple Stuff Podcast can also be found on iTunes, Stitcher and Podbean.

Thanks again to everyone for the great feedback, and especially for sharing the podcast around. Means so much to us, believe me! Read More…

Dino Drac’s May 2016 Funpack!

The wait is over! The latest Dino Drac Funpack has arrived!

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(AVAILABLE IN THE UNITED STATES ONLY!)

Quick and dirty info: I sell monthly Funpacks. Without them, there’d be no Dino Drac. In trade for your support, you’ll get weird and awesome boxes stuffed with all sorts of retro nonsense, delivered straight to your door, every month! (You can cancel anytime without penalty.)

The price is $25 a month, and that includes shipping. My huge and sincere thanks to all subscribers, old and new. Without you, I’d never be able to keep the site going!

You can skip to the bottom of this post for more information on setting up a subscription, or keep reading to see this month’s many treasures!

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The May 2016 Funpack is a special edition, wheeeee!

This month, it’s all about SUPERHEROES. There are over ten items in every box, and most of them pay tribute to our favorite characters from Marvel, DC and beyond!

Here’s the full haul: Read More…

Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 7!

Just like last time, everything in this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials came from that insanely great Real Ghostbusters tape. Thanks again to “MZ” for so diligently recording all of Slimer’s antics back in ‘88 — there’s still enough left on that one cassette for me to do several more editions!

T.H.I.N.G.S. Toys! (1988)

Milton Bradley’s collection of T.H.I.N.G.S. doesn’t have much of a following, but trust me, these were great little games. They’re tough to describe, but I guess we could consider them “berserk carnival games” magically condensed into ten ounces of plastic.

The sprawling line frequently made use of motorized action features, with various pieces spinning, bouncing, and just generally making T.H.I.N.G.S. feel like they should’ve cost so much more than six bucks a pop.

The games had totally distinct themes, linked together only by the fact that they were all so bizarrely fetching. One game might feature a giant, Kong-like gorilla, while the next might challenge you to rescue astronauts from a space alien. It was basically the Atari 2600 library as a series of wind-up toys.

Fun fact: I reviewed some of these back on X-E, complete with shitty YouTube demonstrations. One of those videos has garnered more than 900,000 views over the last 8 years. I have no idea why. Read More…

2016 Flea Market Finds, Part 2!

Even the busiest weekend ever couldn’t stop me from hitting Englishtown again. Racing against the clock (and serious storm clouds), I only had around 30 minutes to turn total strangers’ trash into life-changing treasure.

While the loot couldn’t be more different, I’d say that it’s at least on par with last week’s. Here are my six best finds, which cost a grand total of $16.25:

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Naked Men! ($3 for the pile)

I only wanted the one in the center, but the seller refused to break up the lot. Weird, since I would’ve paid a buck or two for just that figure. Your loss, Guy In The Stained Syracuse Orangemen Shirt!

So, the dude in the middle. I had him as a kid. He was part of some generic “ninja” two-pack, which my father bought at the Kay-Bee in Atlantic City’s long-dead ship-shaped shopping mall. (God, I miss that mall.)

The gift served as hush money, intended to keep me occupied as my parents took turns playing the slots. The action figure originally came with a full-body ninja suit, and I remember being horrified after discovering the impossibly numerous muscles hiding underneath it.

For whatever reason, his muscles really grossed me out. And I especially hated how his pecs looked like monster eyes. Prior to hitting the flea market on Sunday, I hadn’t thought about that action figure for literally thirty years. Read More…

Campfire’s Ghostbusters Marshmallows!

What a ridiculously great time to be a Ghostbusters fan. Even aside from the new movie, the toys are starting to trickle into stores, and they’re all such must-buys that I’m already testing out shit faces in response to May’s AmEx bill.

Then there’s Ecto Cooler’s return, now confirmed to be just a month away — right around the time that Ghostbusters Twinkies will nail their national release. And those are only the pack leaders. There’s so much GB stuff on the way, I can barely keep track of it all.

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Now joining the fray are official Ghostbusters Marshmallows, made by Campfire. The scoop on these leaked a few weeks ago, but I’m pleased to report that they’re finally in stores. (Well, they’re at Big Lots, at least. Thanks for the tip, JC. Even though you were totally lying about them also having Great Bluedini.)

While it’s hardly a spoiler to say that Slimer and Stay Puft have eked out some small place in the GB reboot’s universe, the bags are classically designed, looking more at home with that volley of oddball Ghostbusters bric-a-brac that came out several years ago. Read More…