Dinosaur Dracula!

Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer Starts Now!

Dino Drac’s CRUEL SUMMER… has begun!


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Consider this my attempt to rediscover the joys of summer, because I gotta tell ya, it’s been my least favorite season for years now. The heat! The traffic! Those bugs! We spend our youth thinking of summer as a two-month blessing to be our preferred selves, but as adults, it’s just a super muggy version of everyday life.

Course, it only seems that way when we let ourselves get cynical and garbagey. Even for us myrmecophobes who don’t have beach bods to show off, there’s everything from roller coasters to ice cream to the relaxing hum of ten-year-old air conditioners. We can make this shit work.

For the next month or so, I’ll be examining some of the finer points of the summer season, all while throwing in generous dashes of horror. (After all, for people like me, it’s practically Halloween!)

Expect a whole bunch of articles and videos to carry the event, starting with these:

To kick off Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer, I’m doing my first video review since Christmas. Go check out the amazing Talking Cryptkeeper doll from 1993, which is appropriately dressed like a beach bum.

…then hop on over to a new article, wherein I spend a thousand words gushing about the legendary Super Mario Bros. 3 Happy Meal. (Seriously, this was one of the biggest things McDonald’s ever pulled off!)

…and when you’re done with that, check out Dino Drac After Dark, which is back in action after a too-long hiatus. Random videos every day at midnight, along with a great comment section filled with friendly night owls.

Oh, and one more thing:

If you’re still on the fence about summertime, here are five things you can easily do to make the most of it… Read More…

Purple Stuff: The Ice Cream Show!

Nothing screams “summertime” quite like ice cream. Except maybe the beach, or fireworks, or big gross slices of watermelon. Ice cream still gets my vote.

To kick off our summer season, The Purple Stuff Podcast’s newest episode is all about ice cream. (Well, ice cream and frozen treats in general, but that doesn’t sound as punchy.)

Me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit are naming SIXTEEN of our favorite treats in this unusually long episode, from Cookie Puss cakes to the incredible Choco Taco.

Listen to this week’s episode by clicking here!

Since we’ve already covered some of the more obvious picks on prior shows, this one is full of deep cuts. (Ever hear of Jekyll & Hyde ice pops? Or Maglione’s Italian Ices?)

Enjoy the show! If you want some spoilers, the photos below represent some of the picks from my half: Read More…

Something’s Coming.

Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer begins 6/9. (Nice.)

Get excited!

I’ll be back with regularly-scheduled stuff next week — but expect some biggies in June!

Dino Drac’s May 2018 Funpack is here!

It’s here, it’s finally here! Dino Drac’s May Funpack is ready to give you a nostalgia rush and a sugar rush. It may also help you accessorize. Get a load of the goodies:


AVAILABLE FOR 3 DAYS! UNITED STATES ONLY!

There are over a dozen items in this one, running the gamut from hardcore retro collectibles to an adorable candy pizza. I envision y’all fiddling with the treasures on some otherwise terrible weeknight, because nothing chases the blues away faster than Bartman and Captain America.

Usual spiel: Funpack subscriptions are $25 a month (including shipping), and for as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll get a new package of old, cool junk every single month! You can cancel at any time without penalty, of course!

There wouldn’t be a Dino Drac without your subscriptions, so on top of getting a bunch of fun things, you’re also helping to keep the site going!

Scroll to the bottom for more info, or keep reading to see everything you’ll get in the May Funpack! Read More…

Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 26!

In this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, we’re celebrating everything from Kool-Aid to Sunny D. And also a few things that aren’t drinks.

Super Naturals! (1987)

A line like Super Naturals could’ve only happened in the ‘80s, when the action figure market was white hot. By today’s standards, even massively-pushed brands with associated toons and movies would never get toys this intense.

The main figures were each a bit taller than He-Man, with holographic torsos that alternated between human and monster forms. Snakebite, for example, could change from a snake charmer into a literal cobra. (Guess which form I preferred.)

You could easily argue that Super Naturals was the best of the 1980s “limited” toy lines — meaning the ones that came and went with little outside support. I loved these figures as much as I’ve loved any figures, and I never had to hear one voiced by Chris Latta to get there. Nice work, Tonka! Read More…

Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 25!

Time for another batch of ‘80s and ‘90s TV commercials, pulled from my ginormous collection of half-rotted VHS tapes. Get set for Ninja Turtles, Slurpees and gratuitously creepy PSAs.

Turtle Power Hotline! (1990)

Kids! Call this special 900 number to listen to songs from the live-action Ninja Turtles movie! Add five bucks to your parents’ phone bill just to hear Partners in Kryme’s Turtle Power!

TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Yeah, it would’ve been more cost effective to just buy the soundtrack, but it’s not like we cared enough to do the math. I could totally see the me-of-then sneaking a call, and for all I know, I did.

More interesting than the hotline was the commercial for the hotline, which featured everything from mixed aspect ratios to an iffy Ninja Turtles impression. “It’s almost as cool as pizza!” Read More…