Dinosaur Dracula!

I’m best friends with Pee-wee Herman.

As some of you know, I ordered WrestleMania last night. The PPV price was steep, but I just couldn’t let myself miss Undertaker vs. Punk. It was a good event overall, but the show definitely peaked with that match.

I seized the opportunity to do some live tweeting, to the grand annoyance of all but maybe ten of the people who follow me. Fifty tweets later, and I had less followers than the day prior. Oh well. I thought my line about Roman Reigns looking like the Daenerys’s dead husband was spot-on.

I wasn’t the only one saying too much about wrestling through social media. No less than Pee-wee Herman is a big WWE fan, and in fact, he was at WrestleMania last night. I don’t know if Pee-wee was there in an official capacity or just as a fan, but he was all over Facebook and Twitter, yakking about Brock Lesnar.

Somewhere in the middle of that, he posted this on Facebook:

Mason, an eagle-eyed reader, recognized the photo from one of my X-E articles. The one about the stuff in my freezer.

Yes, that’s MY picture of a WWE Ice Cream Bar and Choco Taco. Pee-wee assuredly found it on Google and never actually visited my old site, but this is still very awesome.

On the other hand, everyone on his Facebook page is making fun of my dirty tiled tabletop. That shit hurts.

It’s a pretty tenuous link, but I’m now connected to Pee-wee Herman. Just a tiny little bit. When I repeat this story in the future, I’ll exaggerate like hell. By next year, I’ll be claiming that we watched WrestleMania together at Hooters. Read More…

You’re going to the movies!

Tonight, you’re going to the movies! Whether you want to or not!

As if by some unseen force, you are escorted to Dinosaur Dracula’s Superstar Theater.

While waiting for your turn at the ticket counter, you realize that this is no ordinary theater. Mingling with your fellow humans are all sorts of monsters and dinosaurs!

Apprehensive as you may be, there is no denying the hand fate has dealt you. You purchase your ticket and head inside… Read More…

Comic Book Friday!

Today mysteriously turned into Comic Book Friday!

I was running an errand in an unusual area, and remembered that this unusual area was also home to my city’s longest operating comic book shop – a place that’s been around for at least twenty years.

I decided to drop by. Maybe they’d still have Mortal Kombat rigged up in the back.

It’d changed a lot since my last visit, which, if I have it right, was more than ten years ago. The store seemed smaller and wasn’t as packed to the brim as it used to be, but I still felt that shockwave of nostalgia as I walked through the door.

As a kid, this was one of my many meccas. It’s where I used to buy back issues of Dazzler for fifty cents a pop, just to get at those glorious old classified ads. It’s where I spent at least ten afternoons buying pack after pack of Marvel Universe trading cards, praying for that elusive Silver Surfer hologram. Above all else, it’s the store that introduced me to The Infinity Gauntlet. Read More…

Real Ghostbusters Mini Shooter!

As it relates to Kenner’s Real Ghostbusters toys, I was always much more into the monsters than the Ghostbusters themselves. Egon and friends were neat, but the ghosts were where the line shined brightest. They had no “template” mold or style, and each was vastly different from the last.

The Slimer and Stay Puft figures will always be my favorites, but once you got past them, Kenner came up with many incredibly creative ghouls. Some were based on the cartoon series and others were exclusive to the toy line, but all were just too delightfully weird to, as they say, “not want.”

Here’s one example. A big wormy ghost who treats smaller ghosts like cannonballs!

The Mini Shooter debuted in 1986. Admittedly, the name kind of sucks. “Mini Shooter.” Sounds like some terribly overpriced Applebee’s thing. Fuck that.

If we can get technical, it was actually a three-figure set, not to mention a toy that came with an open invitation for kids to beat the hell out of it.

It was my final find from last month’s horror convention. The dealer wanted $15, but it’s amazing what $10 can buy when you put on the doe eyes and pretend that it’s all you have left. Read More…

Cheetos Mix-Ups!

HOT NEWS: I found new Cheetos.

Cheetos Mix-Ups blend four different types of Cheetos to create what I like to call “junk food as art.” It may be unhealthy, but fans of the gloriously absurd will not be able to ignore this.

The bag doesn’t have any “limited time only” warnings, but experience has taught me that nothing this outrageous can last forever. My purchase was made at least partly in fear that I’d never have the chance to buy them again.

Would tomorrow bring a press release about how Cheetos Mix-Ups were recalled for being too bizarre? It seemed possible. It also seemed possible that I’d pinch myself in Target’s crap food aisle and wake up in a world where Cheetos Mix-Ups never existed in the first place.

These are the sorts of existential crises I endure when choosing blog topics. The Mayans had a word for people like me. Dickface. Read More…