Dinosaur Dracula!

The Purple Stuff Podcast: Episode 2!

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It’s time for the second episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast, starring me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit.

I AM SO TIRED. Mad props to any longtime podcasters who edit their raw files, because holy shit is that a slog. My brain is mush. So I hope you enjoy this.

Big, big thanks to everyone who listened to the first episode, which was a surprising hit! In terms of traffic, it pretty much dwarfed all of the stuff I usually do on here. The pressure is on?

In the second episode, Jay and I discuss our CHILDHOOD FEARS. Everything from Freddy Krueger to Gene Simmons to those goddamned Scrubbing Bubbles commercials.

GOOD NEWS: We’re now on iTunes! So if you don’t see the player down below, check us out there!

…you can also access the MP3 directly over here. Whatever you prefer.

And yes, for those curious, of course we covered the Library Ghost.

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The numero uno childhood fear for a lot of folks, I’m sure.

Enjoy the show! Regularly scheduled Dino Drac stuff resumes next week.

Oh, PS: What were some of YOUR biggest childhood fears? Tell the world, in the comments!

The Purple Stuff Podcast: Episode 1!

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So I think I’m kind of maybe possibly doing a podcast. Maybe. Yes.

The situation: My friend Jay from The Sexy Armpit had a history in radio, and has appeared on about ten thousand podcasts. For the last few years, I’ve been hounding him to start his own.

A few weeks ago, I meekly offered to try doing one with him, and yes, it was absolutely the tequila talking. On the other hand, how hard could it be?

As it turned out… plenty hard. Our first attempt at recording was last weekend, and after four hours’ worth of technical mishaps, we were both so fried that the resulting podcast was pretty much the worst hour of audio ever recorded. Like, if I’m ever cashing out and want to end my web career with a good laugh, that’s your only chance of hearing it.

Subsequent attempts were rife with all sorts of hilarious bullshit, but finally, this weekend, I think we found our groove. I mean, Jay’s fine, but for a podcast with me in it, we found as much of a groove as we possibly could.

Since we’re both Halloween nuts, we knew this was the time to start. The Halloween season is fast approaching, and even now, there’s already plenty to talk about. So while it’s impossible to say how many episodes we’ll ultimately record, I think we’re both determined to do this on a regular basis at least through the end of October — and any episodes you hear between now and then will be decidedly Halloweeny!

SO! Without further ado, check out the first episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast!

(Note: If you don’t see the player up above, I don’t know what to tell you. Update everything, I guess. Or try this link.)

This being our first at-bat, we thought it was best to follow absolutely no format and just spitball the whole goddamned show. Lucky you!

Topics include:

– Starting our Halloween celebrations in little ways.

– A discussion about some crowd-funded horror movies.

– And then a very long discussion where we try to shoehorn horror icons into existing products for potential “Halloween edition” treats. You’ll know you’re up that part when we start talking about Chucky versions of E.L. Fudge.

Enjoy! Or try to!

It works better if you eat cookies while listening, so here:

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If nobody kills us over this, we’ll be back in a week or so!

Oh, PS: The podcast naturally lends itself to a survey. In the comments section, try to come up with some other ways for existing horror icons to become Halloween foodstuffs. What makes the most sense? Freddy Krueger hot dogs?  Slimer Jell-O? Let’s hear your ideas!

Vintage Vending: Super Mega Edition #2!

This time on Vintage Vending, I’m quintupling up. I usually feature just one set of old vending machine prizes in each edition, but this time, you’re getting five.

(And okay, I’ll admit that that’s largely because none of the sets featured here deserved individual tributes.)

If you’re new to this series, it’s where I evaluate yesteryear’s best and worst vending machine prizes — and by “vending machines,” I mean the ones stationed near the exits of supermarkets and department stores. You know, those little areas that let you trade quarters for everything from gumballs to neon-colored sticky hands.

All of the sets featured below are from the mid to late ‘80s — precisely when I was paying very close attention to vending machines. As such, many of these prizes are awfully familiar. See if you can say the same!

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Mix of Madness!

As a kid, many of my favorite vending machines lacked anything resembling a central theme, instead favoring an air of “mystery” to lure us in. With its impossibly eclectic prizes, this set is a perfect example.

As was usually the case with mixed assortments, its makers were sure to include one “chaser” item — something clearly more valuable than every other potential prize — on the teaser card. This time, it was one of those battery-operated keychains that blasted various sound effects — most typically guns, more guns, and something approximating “space alien guns.”

Your chances of receiving that particular item were almost nil. If we can assume that no government officials ran fairness tests on suburban vending machines, it’s more likely that such big ticket items were never even in those machines.

If you knew your heart couldn’t handle a shitty prize, this wasn’t the machine for you. The risk averse should never gamble on a vending machine that clearly advertises a two-inch butterfly-shaped hairpin. Read More…

Dino Drac’s August 2015 Funpack!

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It’s here, it’s here! Dinosaur Dracula’s August 2015 Funpack is available now!

The scoop, if you’re new: Every month, I mail out boxes of goodies — “Funpacks” — to everyone who subscribes. The cost is $25 per month — including shipping — and you’ll continue to receive Funpacks for as long as you remain subscribed. Also, you can cancel at anytime. (Heck you could subscribe today and cancel today, if you’re only interested in this month’s box!)

Selling these Funpacks is what enables me to continue running Dino Drac, and as we head into the site’s most expensive months — the Halloween Countdown is coming, after all — every subscription counts!

You can skip to the bottom of this post for more subscription information. First, let’s see what’s in store for August!

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The theme for this month is “Summer into Autumn.” Every box includes some bright and sunny things… and then some things from the dark side.

There are over a dozen items in each Funpack, including… Read More…

NECA’s “Jason and Pamela” SDCC Set!

Can I be honest?

When I heard about NECA’s SDCC exclusive “Jason & Pam” two-pack, I knew I was going to buy it, but I wasn’t exactly happy about buying it. When I had the set in my cart during the online sale, I could only click the appropriate buttons through gritted teeth.

Fifty bucks for a couple of action figures, PLUS shipping? I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel a little exploited, because I just couldn’t imagine the figures being cool enough to view with anything but residual guilt.

Well, they arrived yesterday. Sister, I WAS WRONG.

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We can go back and forth on whether these were really worth fifty bucks, but I’ll tell you this: I’ve been a NECA fanboy for over ten years now, and these are unquestionably some of my favorite figures from them.

I think back to NECA’s 8-Bit Jason, and how much I treasured it. While conceding that the cool “Nintendo box” packaging factored into its $25 retail price, the figure was downright basic compared to the two shown here.

What’s most impressive is that they could’ve afforded to suck. Maybe not so much with Pam, but fans were going to line up for a “Boy Jason” figure no matter WHAT it looked like. (Seriously — if Funko did a ReAction version and made it a true SDCC exclusive, tell me you wouldn’t have paid 25 bucks for it.)

I don’t know how NECA operates or who created these, but the figures were obviously works of passion. The likenesses are a tad exaggerated, yet still so dead-on that I see no need to even provide movie stills for comparison. If you wanna know how these two looked in the film… that’s how they looked. Read More…

Junk Food of the Gods, Part 3!

I’m back with the third edition of Junk Food of the Gods, the series in which I raid supermarkets for neon slop that likely won’t be around for very long. Of course, when I put it that way, I’m not sure why I do this.

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Key Lime Pie Oreo Cookies!

With still another month to go before people trade their swimsuits for funeral attire, Nabisco’s tossed us yet another summer-specific Oreo flavor: Key Lime Pie.

I’m not sure that there’s ever been an Oreo with such a pungent odor before. These cookies reek. Depending on your point of view, they either smell exactly like key lime pie or exactly like dollar store tile cleaner.

Fortunately, the flavor is more subdued. I’d hesitate to call it “subtle” because my first thought upon biting one was “LIME” in all caps, but still, compared to the smell, they’re practically dull.

I honestly don’t know what a key lime pie is supposed to taste like, but for my money, this is lime green Jell-O as Oreo creme filling. Not bad, but not one of my favorites. Read More…