Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Dino Drac’s January 2017 Funpack!

    If you’ve got the post-holiday blues, I’m have the cure: A BOX OF AWESOME JUNK. ($25 / MONTH SUBSCRIPTION BOX. UNITED STATES ONLY.) Dino Drac’s January 2017 Funpack is here, and I’ll be straight with you… it’s an important one. This site is funded almost exclusively through

  • 10 Old Comic Books & What They Mean To Me.

    Over the weekend, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit visited a little comic book show in Clifton, New Jersey. (We went to the same show last year, if you wanna see what little New Jersey comic shows actually look like.) We were both hunting the same thing: Cheap, unloved comic books. Several

  • Junk Food Ads from the 1990s!

    Let’s head back to the ‘90s to go grocery shopping. Assume we have a time machine and low aspirations. And that I’m the tallest. Below: Eight great junk foods from the 1990s, immortalized in old newspaper advertisements. Wise Crazy Calypso Chips! (1993) Augh, finally! I’ve been try

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 36!

    Welcome to the 36th edition of Five Random Action Figures, featuring alien brains and bounty hunters and Henry Silva. We’re gonna have a time. Boba Fett Star Wars (1979) Arguably the coolest figure in the entire Star Wars collection, Boba Fett looks like a stormtrooper mixed with a carn

  • More Horror Movie Newspaper Ads!

    I have a special sort of nostalgia for old horror movie newspaper ads. While I’m now a fan of scary movies, they terrified me as a kid, in that “do not touch” sort of way. Catching movie promos on television was a daily risk, but there was something even spookier about the newspaper

  • 11 Things I Loved About 2016.

    Everyone knows the gag by now. 2016 wasn’t a year, but a malevolent entity sent to spread misery and pain to all mankind. It was just a silly meme people used to ease tensions after another shitty thing happened, but it’s just as true that 2016 really was a bumpy road, full of awful ne

  • Preparing for Christmas!

    It’s Friday night. Only half the presents are wrapped, and only half the mushrooms are stuffed. As usual, I have a million things left to do before my family’s Christmas Eve party. Between now and then, I’ll be lucky if I get four hours sleep. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The

  • Highlights from the 1986 Sears Wish Book!

    I wanted to get one more catalog review done before Christmas, and I think we’re ending with a doozy. (And also a DaZoo, but that joke won’t become funny until you’re a thousand words in.) Behold, the 1986 Sears Wish Book! This was a big one, guys. Action figures as a concept were a

  • Return of the Ancient Holiday Appetizers!

    Time to break out the super old cookbooks again! As longtime readers know, I never let a holiday season slip by without trying out some old and iffy recipes. These are typically plucked from the pages of ‘60s and ‘70s cookbooks, back when chicken drumsticks looked like Flintstones food

  • Commercials from He-Man’s Xmas Special!

    He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special premiered in December of ‘85, and I was one of the presumed millions who watched it with their jaws to the floor. He-Man, in prime time?! That was huge! The special featured just about every character from both He-Man and She-Ra’s cartoons, eve

  • 2016’s Hottest Holiday Junk Food, Part 2!

    Christmas is a little over a week away. I’m horrified. Counting Halloween’s early burn, I’ve spent nearly five months using holiday nonsense to spackle every crack in my heart — “spackle every crack in my heart” of course being an unused lyric from the back pages of Whites

  • 12 Awesome Holiday Tunes!

    At the start of the holiday season, I always have grand plans dancing in my head. I imagine a December filled with yuletide adventures, where half of my waking moments will be spent among blinking lights, brisk winds and spiked punches. Eventually, the reality sets in: December may look pr

  • Dino Drac’s December 2016 Funpack!

    You’ve probably spent December buying junk for other people, but what about YOU? Don’t you deserve YOUR OWN JUNK? I think you do! And I can help. (LIMITED TIME! AVAILABLE IN THE UNITED STATES ONLY!) FINALLY, Dino Drac’s December 2016 has arrived! I’m getting a late start this month

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 35!

    Welcome to a special holiday edition of Five Random Action Figures. For maximum effect, you gotta drink eggnog and wear footie pajamas while reading this. This time, I’m limiting myself only to figures that I personally got for Christmas back in the ‘80s. Two were already in my collec

  • More Highlights from the ’89 Wish Book!

    Let’s dig up more highlights from the 1989 Sears Wish Book. I’ve already plucked a dozen of the catalog’s best items for an older Dino Drac article, but it seemed silly to waste the rest of it. After all, Sears Wish Books have more pages than most novels, and beyond the 8-12 items th

  • Christmas Eve, 1986.

    Christmas Eve, 1986. That was the big one. My family’s biggest Christmas party ever, with a houseful of rarely seen aunts and uncles, kids under every table, well-wishing passersby, one dog and two ferrets. It was insane. One of my cousins filmed the highlights on our clunky Panasonic vi

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 8!

    Scary truth: Christmas is less than a month away, and if you so much as blink, the season will be over. Gobble it up while you still can! Look at pretty lights and listen to cheesy music. Watch Scrooged, and nod along with Frank’s meaning-of-Christmas speech. Suck the end of a candy cane

  • Dino Drac’s Stuffed Artichokes Recipe!

    Let’s talk about artichokes. Many of you do not fully comprehend artichokes, and that’s understandable. They’re vegetables with fifteen asterisks, and they look like tiny sleeping Audrey IIs. Hell, even I don’t fully comprehend them. Nevertheless, in my family, no Thanksgiving or C

  • 10 Weird Things We’re Thankful For!

    The holiday gods have chosen me for their annual sacrifice! I have a fever that’s getting worse by the hour, and a light congestion that’s actively baiting me to cough so it can reveal itself as much, much worse congestion. Fun! If this stays the course — and knowing my body, it

  • Dino Drac’s Thanksgiving Stuffing Recipe!

    Well, here’s my recipe for Thanksgiving stuffing — a perfect fit for this ‘80s/’90s nostalgia blog. Stuffing is my only must-have Thanksgiving dish. The turkey is okay and I love a good artichoke, but all I really need is the stuffing. Piles of it. Enough to build a decoy Matt