Dino Drac’s 2023 Daily Halloween Thing!
Wednesday, August 30th:
Our latest Purple Stuff bonus show, which will be on Patreon by the time you read this, previews more of this year’s hottest Halloween happenings. Among them is the one pictured above, which is literally the hottest.
Burger King ran a poll asking customers to choose which fiery lunch they wanted to see on the menu this Halloween season. The options were the return of last year’s Ghost Pepper Whopper, or boxes of all-new Ghost Pepper Chicken Fries.
Now, the Ghost Pepper Whopper was a home run. I think it’s the only Whopper I’ve ever ordered that didn’t require special instructions. I was happy to eat it as-advertised. It looked great, it tasted great, and had they made custom wrappers instead of reusing the regular ones, I would’ve given it a 10 out of 10.
That said, we’ve already had it, so my vote goes to the Ghost Pepper Chicken Fries. Not just because they’d be new, but because they sound amazing. I thought BK’s Ghost Pepper Nuggets from a few years back were a big win, so I’m confident that these would be, too.
As of this writing, we don’t know which item won the vote, or if it was all a big ruse and BK is secretly planning to add both. What’s important is that they’re doing something for Halloween. For the second year in a row, McD’s and BK are bringing the boo!
Tuesday, August 29th:
I still watch Unsolved Mysteries often. Partially because it’s on so many streaming platforms, but also because it’s one of the only shows that works when I want to pay attention or not pay attention.
The neatest thing about the show’s streaming era is that they combed through every episode and added additional updates wherever appropriate. After all, many of the cases were solved years after the series ceased production.
It’s a trip. While Unsolved Mysteries doesn’t stand a chance of scaring me the way it did when I was young, these extra updates add a whole new ghoulish dimension to the show.
One example would be cases about missing persons that ended with small rays of hope in the original broadcast, but have tacked-on updates about their grisly deaths. Another would be the surprising number of times Unsolved Mysteries interviewed the perpetrators of the very crimes they were investigating. It’s wild to cut from old interview footage to updates about how those same people turned out to be murderers.
Making matters spookier, these extra updates are very low-fi and have no custom footage, so you usually end up looking at creepy photos of the killers for a solid minute while they rotate through a couple of paragraphs of text.
And even beyond that, you get so used to seeing these additional updates that when they don’t happen, the original stories hit even harder. Like holy shit, Gertrude from Detroit stepped on a train, never got off, and they still don’t know what happened to her? Even now, in 2023? Wtf!
So yeah, if you’re in the mood for lowkey frights, go watch Unsolved Mysteries. Even if you feel like you’ve seen all of the best segments, these extra updates are a big reward for sitting through ‘em again.
Monday, August 28th:
My friend Mike (aka ninjaturtlepies) sent me a care package loaded with awesome stuff, including a few of these McDonald’s Halloween signs from 1984.
I’d actually been meaning to buy one of them for years. McDonald’s gave the paper signs out to anyone who bought books of Halloween Treat Certificates, with the idea being that you’d hang it on your door or window to let trick-or-treaters know that you had the good stuff.
I remember seeing them around as a child, though I never made the connection between them and the certificates. I just thought some families had a special relationship with Ronald McDonald, and hated that my family had to make do with cotton webs and orange leaf bags.
Simple as the imagery is, it’s way nostalgic for me.
Sunday, August 27th:
SUCCESS! After multiple failed excursions that left me desperate and grouchy, today I managed to find ALL of the new Halloween cereals at one single Target.
I think you can make a good argument that this is the strongest year ever for spooky cereals. Not only are there several new ones, but almost all of the repeats got facelifts. (Hell, I even rebought Shocking Orange Rice Krispies, which are neither new nor particularly tasty, but did come in a redesigned box!)
I’m most excited about that Great Pumpkin Cereal. I don’t know why they picked 2023 as the year to do this, but everything about it seems perfect. The box is so wholesome, the cereal is super colorful, and while I haven’t sampled it yet, “vanilla with marshmallows” sure sounds like a winner.
I was also elated to find the Haunted Chocolate Lucky Charms, because the “haunted” marshmallows were literally taken straight from Count Chocula. General Mills isn’t marketing them that way, but trust me, I know my Count Chocula.
And now I have more Halloween cereal than I could possibly eat in two months. There are worse problems to have!
Saturday, August 26th:
When you collect the things I collect, it’s sometimes a buy-first, think-later situation. The sort of ephemera I chase is very often OOAK, or stuff that might only pop up once every five years.
That’s how I ended up with this Doritos/Pepsi Halloween standee from the late ‘90s. It popped up on eBay for $100 plus shipping, and I bought it immediately. Had to. It wouldn’t have lasted for another hour.
I don’t know if 100 bucks sounds like a lot for this, but trust me, it isn’t. That said, cardboard store displays are always a crapshoot, because you really don’t know how you’ll feel about them until they’re actually in your home and you’re trying to figure out which corners to sacrifice for ‘em.
Happy to report that this one exceeded expectations. Wow, it’s beautiful! And CLEAN! I moved a bunch of stuff around to let it stand in my main office. Dracula and that witch now stare holes through me whenever I’m in there, and in the dark of night, I admit that it gets to the point where it’s actually a little creepy.
Like right now, it’s after 1AM and I’m not entirely lucid. Every time I look at that standee, I half-expect Drac and Helga to lunge at me. All things considered, I don’t think I’ll be sampling any psychedelic mushrooms until after Halloween.
Friday, August 25th:
Me and Jay made our first trip to Spirit Halloween for the 2023 season. I’m so thankful for that place. It’s incredible that for a few months each year, we get to visit giant haunted gift shops.
I remember a time when Spirit wasn’t at all what it is now. Even well into the 2000s, I only considered Spirit to be a marginal step-up from any other pop-up Halloween shop. Eventually they realized that the key to success wasn’t in costumes, but in turning the place into something resembling a goth Pier 1.
Course, the snag with Spirit is that it’s expensive. If you want my advice, it’s better to splurge on one nice thing than buy several cheaper doodads that you’ll almost definitely lose or toss before New Year’s. At least, that’s how I justified buying this Killer Klowns Popcorn Statue, which even with my 20% off coupon still cost more than I’m comfortable with sharing. (It really does look cool, tho!)
Thursday, August 24th:
I feel the need to defend Carmella Creeper.
Many times now, I’ve seen people complain about the character’s design, which is aged-down and more evocative of brands like Monster High and Bratz. Which… you know… is the whole point?
To me, it seems obvious that Carmella is GM’s attempt to get some new blood on the Monster Cereals bandwagon. I think it’s a necessary step, too. The existing characters hardly felt current by any standard, and while people like you and me love them and adore the tradition, our generation can’t keep the Monster Cereals alive forever.
Would *I* have preferred some truly monstrous new mascot inspired by Gill-man? Of course! But they’ve got my business either way. If Carmella Creeper brings some younger fans into the fold, that’s way more important.
(Now, if you want to debate their decision to make Carmella taste like caramel apples, I’m game. I get that the Monster Cereals are basically crunchy La Croix and pretty much all taste the same, but I can’t say that caramel apple does a whole lot for me.)
