Horror

Back in the late ‘90s, I bought my first computer. It was hardly the first computer that I’d messed around on, but it was the first one that was all mine. I customized the shit out of it. By the time I was through, I don’t think there was a single default sound still in

Treasures from the Halloween 4 Pharmacy!

Ask and you shall receive! Well, not usually, but this time. If you’ve been hankerin’ for a new Purple Stuff, we’re finally ready to deliver: Yes indeed, we’re kicking off the 2018 Halloween season with our fifth installment of SPOOKY SONGS. This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armp

Y’all heard the news about Funko’s amazing line of cereals, right? They all look interesting, but two were of particular interest to me. You can probably guess which! Yep, we now have officially licensed Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees BREAKFAST CEREALS. I still can’t believe it. I

I love popcorn! I love popcorn so much that I get extraordinarily excited when it turns up in movies. Especially horror movies, where it often becomes a prop in bizarre murders involving alien clowns or unreasonably toxic spiders. Below: Five scenes from horror movies that feature popcorn.

Guys! I found the perfect subject for Cruel Summer’s first video: That thing. A Talking Cryptkeeper doll from 1993, where our pal is randomly dressed like a beach bum. Dude could be the mascot for Cruel Summer. Here’s everything you need to know about this sunny savage, in just under f

We’re long past the point where Halloween III: Season of the Witch needs defending. It’s now celebrated for the same reasons it was once vilified. In summary: It dared to be different. The film plays more like a 1970s sci-fi thriller than a chapter in an ‘80s slasher franchise, and i

Time for the fifth edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters. I hope you like Chicken McNuggets and demons from Hell. The Grither! Tales from the Darkside (1986) The Grither was perhaps the most memorable monster ever featured on Tales from the Darkside — which is saying plenty when

I’m gonna need you to watch a scene from Child’s Play 2. Trust me, okay?  Here we have young Andy Barclay inspecting his new bedroom. His adoptive mother encourages him to play with the assorted toys, and tells him that there are even more in the closet. The scene establishes that t

Get set for the fourth edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, featuring everything from a zombie wrestler to the Godzilla version of Satan. Everything you need, really. The Fake Undertaker! WWF SummerSlam (1994) I never love pro-wrestling more than when it’s at its most preposterous

Simple as it was, SLIME was perhaps my favorite of all Masters of the Universe toys. The neon green pseudosnot taught me that toy slime wasn’t just what it literally was, but also whatever we imagined it to be. In Masters of the Universe lore, Hordak uses Slime to turn randos into zombie

Back in October of 1992, SIGHTINGS aired an episode about alien abductions. The shots of space aliens looming outside bedroom windows pretty much ruined my life as a kid, but I loved that episode all the same. Let's revisit it!

In this edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, I gush about Karg, Grey Gorillas and even the Fun Fruit Trees. Oh, and Super Shredder too. Can't forget him.

If you’re into ‘80s slasher flicks and you’ve never seen Intruder, stop it! It’s so good. Set in a supermarket for what ends up being a literal graveyard shift, it’s gory and tense, but more surprisingly smart and funny. It’s also a chance to see oodles of legit 1980s groce

Welcome to the second edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, starring creatures of all sorts and from all walks. Picking which five monsters to feature is always the hardest part. Am I in the mood for giant spiders, or is it a techno-organic robot hitman kind of day? If I take both, w

Here are five tiny tributes to five minor monsters: Drakulon, Creature of Doom! Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot (1968) It blows my mind that Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot — the American edit of Japan’s Giant Robo — never became big-on-the-internet. In the series, Johnny

At just around this time last year, the classic, Robert Stack-hosted episodes of Unsolved Mysteries began streaming on Amazon, Netflix and beyond. It was pretty much the best thing about 2017. …but if you stopped paying attention after the big launch, boy, you’ve missed a lot. Amaz

Exactly two years ago today, I tried one of Burger King’s Halloween Whoppers. You remember them, right? The Halloween Whopper was the shining star of the 2015 Halloween season. Even a thousand articles about green excrement couldn’t ruin the moment. I’ve been running the Halloween Co

Y’all remember Grimace, right? The purple dude, I mean. Ronald McDonald’s de facto best friend. Throughout my childhood, Grimace was constantly on television, making commercial breaks tolerable with his adorably dopey demeanor and never-say-never attitude. (I’ll remind you that he on

Y’all have seen Ghoulies II, right? No? WELL YOU SHOULD. Here’s the deal: The first Ghoulies film is admirably weird and totally worth watching, but most of the movie’s fame stems from its classic promo art, which featured a little green monster popping out of a toilet. Unfortunately

During Friday the 13th Part 2’s cold open, Alice Hardy — the sole survivor from the first movie — was killed by Jason Voorhees. (Icepick to the temple, if you were wondering!) Perhaps more shocking than the way Alice croaked was what she saw just before it happened: See, Jaso

As My Pet Monster fans know, the well doesn’t run very deep. There’s the classic doll, a couple of spinoffs, a short-lived cartoon and that weird live-action movie. Once you’ve absorbed those things, you’ve pretty much read the book. …which is why it’s my great privileg

I FOUND THEM. Had to drive to the freakin’ Bronx in nonstop traffic on a Friday night, BUT I FOUND THEM. Behold, the 2017 General Mills Monster Cereals! After last year’s misfire with that whole “election” theme, I’d call this a return to form. Some folks wanted General Mills to

I know I’ve written about Gremlins Cereal several times before, but I swear, I have a really good reason to do it again. See, that isn’t any ordinary Gremlins Cereal box. No, that one is STILL SEALED. …or at least, it was until a few hours ago. As soon as I cracked that sucker op

I’ve been collecting VHS tapes in a pretty hardcore way as of late, spurred by my experiences at those still-running video stores. So far, it’s been a terrific hobby. It’s as cheap as I need it to be, and it’s an excuse to turn every yard sale and thrift shop into a hunting ground.