2016’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 1!
Behold, some of 2016’s best Halloween junk food!
(Well, I don’t always mean “best.” Sometimes just “noteworthy.” I hope you can forgive me this trespass. “2016’s Most Noteworthy Halloween Junk Food” just sounded so clunky.)
This will be a multipart series, because my #1 goal each Halloween season is to eat everything and then spend November singing an a cappella version of Man in the Mirror whenever I take a shower.
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Bag of Bones!
THESE ARE PERFECT. Joining the Bag of Bones family is this all-new Flamin’ Hot version, which replaces the original’s bone white cheddar with fiery red death.
I might like this version even more. I get that the white cheddar Cheetos let us create more classically appropriate skeletons, but that’s kinda my point. Skeletons are spooky, but they have nothing on fleshy remains. With these, I feel like I’m creating the first acts for Hellraiser movies. They look so evil!
Plus, white cheddar Cheetos are good in theory and even good in practice, but they’re not so good when you’re on the couch and you have all day and you just don’t give a fuck. If I’m going to plow through fifty ounces of Cheetos, I don’t want it to feel like work. I want to do it obliviously and deal with the fallout later. I feel like I could do that with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
GRADE: A+. Read More…
Madd Matt reviews more Halloween garbage.
Madd Matt has returned with another bag of Halloween junk, and today, in this video, you’re going to look at it:
(CLICK HERE TO WATCH IT ON YOUTUBE!)
Spoilers: You will see a Boglin and a cheap ninja sword.
Thank you and enjoy. Read More…
Watching Garfield Like It’s 1985.
My buddy Matt let me borrow some tapes that his family recorded back in the mid ‘80s, which is seriously the best thing anyone could let me borrow. Like holy shit. I need three external hard drives and cake.
I’ve only begun to sort through the goodies, but I already found one of my unholy grails: Halloween specials that aired on CBS back in October of ‘85. With all commercials intact. Schwing.
Getting the 1985 version was extra special, because that was the debut year of Garfield’s Halloween Adventure. (October 30th at 8PM, to be exact.)
I was six years old at the time, and I absolutely watched Garfield’s Halloween Adventure on that night. Immediately followed by It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, those two specials suddenly became the power couple of Halloween Toontown. They were shown back-to-back for so many sequential Halloween seasons that people anywhere near my age will forever associate childhood spooky times with fat cats and fit dogs.
So if you’ve lived my life, here’s a treat: Every commercial break from the 1985 broadcast of BOTH specials. The nostalgia will drown you, and then you’ll come back as a water ghost who can only haunt using obsolete ad slogans.
It’s aaaa gooood tiiiime…. forrr thhhhe greeeaat taaaaste… Read More…
The Ghostbusters Cereal Hologram Shirt!
Remember when Ghostbusters Cereal had those sweet holographic boxes?
It wasn’t just Ghostbusters Cereal, either. By the end of the ‘80s, Ralston had blessed no less than four other brands with the same treatment: Nintendo Cereal System, Cookie Crisp, Dinersaurs (dinosaurs who operated a diner, because wtf) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal.
This was a time when holograms didn’t just look cool, but were revered as huge, expensive productions. Remember how you felt about Super Naturals and Visionaries action figures? Or Lazer Blazers stickers?
Back in the ‘80s, a kid’s first thought after seeing any remotely holographic thing was, “That costs more than Pluto, which at press time is still part of the crew.” And since I’m already fibbin’, let’s also say that the kids then grew second heads and renamed themselves after their favorite colors.
I may joke about the way Ralston’s pop-bred cereals tasted, but the presentation was always top notch. Ghostbusters Cereal was some of their best work, but it was just one of several Ralston cereals that felt more like toys than breakfast. Adding holograms was just the cherry on top. Read More…