Dinosaur Dracula!

My 1987 Birthday Party.

Today is my birthday. I’m super old. 900, basically. But it wasn’t always this way.

On February 6th, 1987, I had a birthday party. A bunch of boys from my second grade class came over to do what boys do. One of them gave me Optimus Prime socks.

That’s me, at the party.

Back then, kiddy birthday parties were usually small productions, amounting to little more than “visits with cake.”

(That’s my way to skirt guilt over having apparently spent the bulk of the party holed up in my bedroom, playing Spy Hunter on the Atari 2600. What a host I was!) Read More…

Five Random Action Figures, Part 37!

I normally only cover vintage toys on Five Random Action Figures, but this time, let’s try something different. Below are five figures that are still in stores, proving that new stuff can be just as awesome as old stuff, and less grimy to boot.

Macho Michelangelo!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Superstars (2016)

Yes, this is a real thing. Michelangelo dressed as Randy “Macho Man” Savage. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS TEN, MACHO MIKEY?

Mikey is part of a growing series of TMNT/WWE mashups, and for my money, he’s the best of them. Oh, and speaking of money, be prepared to drop $30 or more if you want one of these. I’d say that they cost too much, but you can’t expect Ninja Turtles dressed like WWE superstars if you’re not willing to foot a portion of the licensing fees.

Some fans think that Raphael would’ve been a better fit for Savage, but since Macho Man’s most prolific bandana was pretty orange, I think Mikey was the natural choice.

Macho Mikey is heavy, well-detailed and has enough points of articulation to pull off each and every of Dean Malenko’s 1000 moves. A splurge for sure, but how could anyone resist such an action figure miracle? Read More…

Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 12!

Let’s forget our troubles with grainy videos of cheesy ‘80s commercials. Here’s the latest edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, featuring everything from robots to Skeletor to space aliens. (Times were good!)

He-Man & Quik Sweepstakes! (1980s)

Back in ’84, Nestle teamed up with Mattel for a Masters of the Universe sweepstakes, where a lucky few kids would win the entire set of He-Man toys. Contests like this were TORTURE!

This wasn’t the only time that a complete set of He-Man toys was used as promotional bait. Every time it happened, I’d lose a week to daydreams about a roomful of playsets and action figures. I’d imagine a parade of mailmen carting the presumed 50+ shipping boxes into our house and up the stairs. It was glorious.

Kids are optimistic to the point of detriment, and I never entered a contest without being 100% sure that I was gonna win. Naturally, I never did. The fantasies would then turn to nightmares, and the plastic Eternians that had so recently been my muses became mocking gods.

Bright side: If I played my cards right, I could parlay that visible misery into a trip to Toys “R” Us. Sometimes, it was easier for Mom to spend five bucks than deal with me. God, I wish I could still get rewards for crying. Read More…

Before Ecto Cooler, there was Hi-C Citrus Cooler.

As most of you know, Ecto Cooler has retired again, with the remaining stock from its summer run now being liquidated at dollar stores and discount shops. Stock up while it lasts!

But here’s something that most of you don’t know: Ecto Cooler’s termination marks the end of a Hi-C flavor that can be traced back as far as the 1960s!

Yes, long before Ecto Cooler, there was Hi-C Citrus Cooler Drink. It even had the same ghoulish green hue!

Now, was it exactly the same as Ecto Cooler? Until I find a label from a late ‘80s version of Citrus Cooler, that’s impossible to know. But there’s room for doubt.

I can confirm that Citrus Cooler was an orange/lemon blend for at least a good long while, forgoing the tangerine additive that made Ecto Cooler so distinct. Hi-C also once had a totally separate tangerine flavor, so it’s possible that our dear Ecto was a weird amalgam of those two beverages.

Still, there’s an undeniable lineage here, and it’s impossible to look at Citrus Cooler as anything but the Goldeen to Ecto Cooler’s Seaking. Read More…

Purple Stuff Podcast: Snow Days!

Coming to you live from Dino Drac HQ, it’s Matt with a fever. And a cup of coffee. Which for some reason makes the fever feel ten times worse. Why am I drinking this?

Before I retire to the couch, lemme slide you the latest Purple Stuff Podcast. Been a while, hasn’t it?

This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit tackle twelve of our SNOWIEST and MOST WINTERY memories, covering everything from the Wampa to Freezy Freakies. It’s an eclectic but altogether ICY mix!

Give us a listen by clicking the giant, ugly play button down below!

You can also download this week’s episode by right-clicking here.

As a kid, snow days meant endless adventure and maybe even a sense of danger. In 2017, it’s just an excuse to hole up in my apartment and binge on bad television. To be honest, I think I like the adult version better. Blankets, soup and Roseanne reruns. I have simple needs. And a fever. Read More…

5 Spooky Unsolved Mysteries Segments!

If you missed the news, Unsolved Mysteries is FINALLY available in its ORIGINAL form. The first season is now streaming on Amazon Prime, and it’s totally free if you’re a Prime member.

As a huge fan of the series, I can’t overstate how big this is. Until now, seeing Unsolved Mysteries as it was originally broadcast was damn near impossible, with even the official DVD releases using modernized music and graphics.

While what’s available on Amazon is being presented as “the first season,” it’d be more accurate to call it a season’s worth of curated episodes. (The segments are neither in their proper order nor all present, but considering that we were blessed with 24 hours of vintage Unsolved Mysteries, it’s hard to complain!)

This show was and remains my #1 jam, and it’s such a thrill to see it in its original state. The old intro music! The funky ‘80s graphics! ROBERT STACK IN FRONT OF BOOKCASES!

It hasn’t lost a step. I’ve had to sleep with the lights on all week. As fascinating as the show was, Unsolved Mysteries was uniquely creepy, and I honestly can’t think of anything else that’s given me so much pause for so long a time.

If you enjoy being freaked out, go on and watch it. (Even if you don’t have Amazon Prime, the episodes only cost a buck a piece.)

Below are summaries of five of the spookiest segments currently available on Amazon. If you’re new to the series and want to experience it at maximum panic, these segments will get the job done.

A warning, though: These aren’t “fun” stories. They’re about absolutely ghastly crimes. Stop reading now if you only come to Dino Drac for fluffy stuff, because you ain’t gonna leave this article laughing. Read More…