Here’s a collection of ancient newspaper ads, all with a Christmas flavor. May they fill you with nostalgia and joy and maybe Swiss Miss.
Candy Canes and Ninja Turtles! (1991)
Family Dollar was hardly the first place gift-givers would’ve hit while hunting for TMNT figures, but even the least-likely chains knew better than to sail through the biggest shopping season without the top dogs. (Or top turtles, in this case.)
Note how they photographed Mikey and Triceraton over a sheet of cotton “snow.” Whenever my mother bought a similar snow sheet for her ceramic nativity set, I earmarked it for faux-wintry action figure adventures. (Like my Hordak figure didn’t already have enough trouble standing.) Read More…
Y’all remember the time McDonald’s pitched Chicken McNuggets as actual literal Christmas presents, right?
In 1987, McDonald’s unveiled Holiday Chicken McNuggets, which came in awesomely complicated packages that looked (and even opened like) gift boxes.
It wasn’t McD’s only push for people to serve Chicken McNuggets at holiday parties, but it was certainly their biggest. As if the intricate boxes weren’t enough, McDonald’s also included two limited edition sauces that tied perfectly into the season.
I’d kill to see McDonald’s try something like this again. They still do Christmassy promotions, but what I really want is the chance to turn fast food into fine dining. I want to use the good plates on Chicken McNuggets.
Until such time, I’ll have to make do with bizarre recreations.
I was lucky enough to find one of the original Holiday McNugget boxes from thirty years ago, so all I needed were fresh nugs.
While waiting on line, I thought about telling the cashier why I needed them, which would’ve signaled the start of my even-grittier reboot of Falling Down. It didn’t happen, but the daydream sure made those five minutes pass faster. Read More…
I love Christmas songs. Even the bad ones. They make me feel happy even when I’m not. They turn drives to department stores into scenes out of family movies. They make coffee taste better and $3 candles smell sweeter.
Jay from The Sexy Armpit feels the same way, so we’re thrilled to debut this brand new episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast.
It’s our third collection of CHRISTMAS SONGS, including 12 screwball picks that will give your tired playlists a shot of goofy adrenaline.
We didn’t set out to pick strange songs, but it sure seems like we did. In this episode, you’ll hear everyone from Billy Idol to Fred Flintstone to the goddamned Del Rubio Triplets.
These are some of our favorite episodes to record! Give us a listen by clicking the giant, ugly play button down below:
You can also download this week’s episode by right-clicking here.
Thanks for listening and for sharing the show around. Glad we can help you kill an hour in a super festive way.
In conclusion, I love the Del Rubio Triplets.
Today’s video covers my Christmas shopping spree at Dollar Tree:
Dollar Tree’s assortment of Xmas decorations and novelties is… interesting.
During Halloween, they can get away with anything, since spooky stuff only seems to improve with cheapness and cheese. Christmas junk, on the other hand… not so much. It’s like someone paged through an Oriental Trading catalog and vowed to do everything it did with 1/10th the money and effort.
That isn’t exactly a complaint, though. There’s a weird sincerity to this garbage, and also a strange phenomenon where you look at the garbage, feel bad for the garbage and then buy the garbage.
I’ll stand there staring at a 4” fake wreath for ten minutes, and by the time I’m done, leaving it behind feels like I’m ignoring a blind, three-legged stray cat.
Anyway, the point of this video is to show that you needn’t spend a lot of money to have stupid Christmas fun. For five bucks, I got everything from a new mug to a snowman-themed paddleball. Retail therapy on the cheap. Happy holidays.