The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

Five Random ’80s Action Figures.

Below are thoughts about five random ‘80s action figures. Well, random to you, but very important to me. I chose these five because blah blah blah, something something, who cares, nobody reads intros. I’ll just use this space to practice the ol’ text whistle. Whhhrrreeeeeee. Sooo

Nintendo Cereal System, from 1988!

Breakfast peaked in 1988. You’d need a strong argument to believe otherwise. Nintendo Cereal System was its name, and according to everyone who was appropriately-aged in ’88, it was the stuff of the gods. I can think of dozens of cereals I’ve liked more, but never did I NEED

Freddy’s Greatest Hits Album!

I picked up Freddy’s Greatest Hits nearly a decade ago, and I’ve been listening to it constantly ever since. Sure, I originally bought it for the “novelty” potential, and admit that the first time I heard it, I cackled over the complete ridiculousness of a Freddy Krueger pop album

Vintage Vending #6: Moon Monster!

It’s been ages since the last Vintage Vending post. Let’s fix that. Pinpointing an exact date is impossible. All I can be sure of is that these came out in the ‘80s. The “Moon Monster” title was just their way of skirting copyright issues, because these are obviously Godzilla toy

Weird 1993 Photo Album Thing.

While cleaning out some old bins, I came across this photo album. Pretty sure it’s from 1993. Only around a fifth of its pages were used, and only half of those pages were used for actual photos. I vaguely recall putting this together, and it’s jusssst weird enough to be worth archivin

Chef Boyardee’s Mini Dinosaurs!

It’s been a rough month. I needed something simple and pleasant to ease my way back into the wonderful world of low-level blogging. I think pasta shaped like dinosaurs is just the ticket. Me and Chef Boyardee don’t cross paths often nowadays. It only happens during those rare times whe

New Features on Dino Drac! (Plus Survey!)

Just want to alert you to two new features on Dino Drac. First, musings about ten old soda cans, from Dr Slice to Jolt Cola. Second, the most gloriously complex TMNT Colorforms playset ever, featuring a two-level city and a little cardboard Tokka. In celebration of these two features, here

Goodfellas / Staten Island Connection.

Goodfellas is one of my favorite movies, duh. I can’t imagine that I’ve seen it anything less than a hundred times. Yesterday was one of those days when the only thing that seemed right with the world was my couch, so that’s where I lived, searching for shows and movies that would re

BFCDAW #14: Gumix the Gum Monster.

10:30 AM: I’m at work. So of course I’m mapping out ways to turn gum into a hideous monster. That’s the formula, as I see it. I will create Gumix as soon as I get home. Check Dino Drac later tonight, because this is going to be HOT.

Vlog: Christmas Morning, 2012.

Christmas Eve was the usual unbridled insanity, but for once, we didn’t need to be anywhere on Christmas Day. I’m going to spend the afternoon taped to the couch, subsisting on cold leftovers and endless airings of A Christmas Story. Just the way it ought to be. I hope you’re having

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/24/12.

It’s Christmas Eve! …and the final gift is a DOOZY. Behold, Dino Drac’s BABY DINOSAUR, which hatched from a giant grey egg and immediately started doing cute things. Impossibly cute things, like clapping. God, we LOVE this baby dinosaur.

The Christmas Flamingo Cometh.

I have to imagine that this will be my last big purchase of the Christmas season. I’m going out with a pink bang: It’s a light-up flamingo in a Santa hat, and it pairs oh so nicely with that stupid dinosaur. This is its story, in around five minutes: The people behind this flamingo app

Ancient Christmas Appetizers!

This morning, I dived deep into my collection of ancient recipe books, looking for the kind of snack ideas that no book published after 1975 would dare include. After choosing my “subjects,” it was time to gather the ingredients. Good God, I spent a fortune. I’m not sure what happene

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/21 – 12/23/12.

Dino Drac hates today’s magnifying glass, but I don’t. I love how Playmobil made it all jewel-like and oversized, as if it’s actually a supernatural crystal-gazing thing that will let us see the future. “So you wanna see the future, eh? Then let me open tomorrow’s gift.” I don�

Christmas Cat Litter?

Meet Kitten. She often tries to kill me, but when she likes me, she really likes me. Kitten has made good days better and horrible days livable. She’s a great cat. All cats are great. Even the terrible ones. They’re smart, they’re funny, and if you howl at just the right pitch, they�

BFCDAW #13: Christmas on Ker-Zerzenic.

Between Christmas fast approaching and the world possibly ending, I’m not going to have many more chances to post bad holiday art. So, here goes: On Ker-Zerzenic, Christmas is a little different. Santa is a befuddled, three-eyed snake creature. Snowflakes fall in white and pink. Then

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/19 – 12/20/12.

Today’s gift is a lunchbox filled with torture devices. Dino Drac acts like he hates it, but I see through him. Hey, we were all kids once. I’ve pretended to hate great gifts plenty of times, for reasons many and varied. I’m not buying this facade. There is no way a vampire dinos

Martini Matt.

I had no reason to buy this. I own lots of martini glasses and several cocktail shakers, so $9 was a lot to pay for stale crackers. Maybe I fell prey to the same thing I always fall prey to during the last week before Christmas: That sick feeling that the world will turn black

The Panettone Cake Monster.

Dudes. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of panettone, but in my family, no Christmas is complete without one on the table. Even if nobody touches it. Few ever do. It’s basically bread masquerading as cake. It’s sweet, faintly fruity, very Italian, and eating it is like trying to c

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/17 – 12/18/12.

“They can’t be serious. What is this, a translucent breadbox?” Nah, I think it’s just some kind of holding tank. Either way, a pretty junky gift. In fact, it’s so junky that I refuse to respect it with a bold font. These Playmobil Advent Calendars really love their peaks and