Dino Drac’s 2023 Daily Halloween Thing!
Wednesday, September 13th:
Sorry everyone, but that ain’t cheese. It’s actually Wendy’s new Pumpkin Spice Frosty, which is just hitting the chain now. I’m neither a Frosty guy nor someone who shakes maracas over pumpkin spice, but I gotta say, this is excellent. Basically tastes like a nutmeg-forward pumpkin pie ice cream.
I knew this was coming and knew I’d be trying it, so I thought I’d kill two birds by also trying the fries-in-a-Frosty trick. A lot of people swear by it! It never sounded gross to me, but I was still impressed with how well it works. Can’t say what it’s like with their normal Frosty flavors, but here, it basically makes ‘em taste like fully-dressed sweet potatoes. Recommended!
But yeah, it does look like Cheez Whiz. I know this because the second I posted this photo on social media, 800 people told me it did. At first I was insulted, but then I remembered that I didn’t make the Frosty, nor do I have any particular stock in its success. If you want to call it a cup of cheese, go right ahead. Rolls right off my back.
It’s the little things like this that make Halloween great. Hitting the seasonal aisle at department stores. Throwing on an old horror movie just because. Dipping fries into a shockingly orange Wendy’s Frosty. Ahhhh, I love this time of year.
Tuesday, September 12th:
I’ve long said that every spooky season is judged by its junk food, so just for kicks, I thought I’d try to name the best Halloween food debuts, year by year, from 2012 through 2022. Consider yourselves lucky to be here for this historic moment.
Keep in mind, I’m only counting things that were actually edible. That means stuff like last year’s Boo Buckets are ineligible. I haven’t eaten plastic for years.
2012: Cadbury Screme Eggs
2013: Frute Brute & Fruity Yummy Mummy
2014: Krispy Kreme’s Ghostbusters Doughnuts
2015: The Halloween Whopper
2016: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Bag of Bones
2017: Dunkin’ Donuts Spider Donut
2018: BK’s Nightmare King Whopper
2019: Mtn Dew VooDew
2020: Witch’s Brew Kit Kats
2021: Monster Mash Cereal
2022: BK’s Ghost Pepper Whopper
Thoughts? Most of these are pretty obvious picks, with the only major surprise being the Witch’s Brew Kit Kats from 2020. Those certainly weren’t that year’s showiest snacks, but my GOD did they taste good.
It’s too early to say which food will take the crown in 2023, but for historical reasons alone, it’ll be tough for anything to beat Carmella Creeper.
Monday, September 11th:
Here’s a bunch of promo buttons for horror movies of the ‘80s and ‘90s. In their former lives, these would’ve been worn by theater employees to hype up new releases. (Tbh, I think more jobs should require people to wear Gremlins 2 buttons.)
These were part of a MUCH larger collection that I was lucky to snag at a little comic book show last January. Some guy had a big bin of buttons on sale for a dollar each, which was already a massive steal, but as I started sorting through them, I realized that I’d be stupid to not at least try to buy the entire lot.
Asked the dealer if he’d be open to working something out. He thought about it for like three seconds, and then said “gimme 50 bucks.” Oh my God. Naturally, I put the money in his hand before he could even complete the “s” sound at the end of “bucks.”
There were literally hundreds of buttons in that bin. The actual market value is way, way north of a thousand dollars. Some of the buttons are exceedingly rare, like the one shown above for Popcorn. (When I originally showed these off on social media, I was absolutely FLOODED with messages from people who wanted to buy that pin specifically.)
I haven’t sold any, nor am I really planning to. I still have the entire bin in my office, with the “Buttons $1” sign still taped to the front. Whenever I’m down, I turn my hand into Scrooge McDuck and give it a few good shuffles.
PS: If you’re in the mood to watch something spooky and can’t decide what, pick any of the dozen films shown on those buttons. Most are Matt-approved, and some are actually all-time favorites. (I’ve been meaning to revisit NOES 5, so I might take my own advice tonight!)
Sunday, September 10th:
Back in 1988, Elvira teamed with Imagineering to offer her very own Fright Sound Tape, which was just another in the long line of audiocassettes filled with steady streams of shrieks and creaks.
There were a million similar tapes, and they were all basically the same. (Actually, many were identical!) Just an hour of wind, chains, howls, slams, bats and boos. The idea was that you’d blast them at parties, or to create some spooky ambiance for trick-or-treaters. (If you paired the tape with a yard haunt, that was even better.)
Thanks to the tapes’ affordability and omnipresence, EVERYBODY had one. That includes yours truly. Since I wasn’t much into music as a kid, I relished having an audiocassette of my very own. Played that shit like it was a Pink Floyd album.
While I didn’t own the Elvira Fright Sound Tape, a quick listen confirms that beyond Elvira’s custom intro, it was no different from the norm. I find it oddly relaxing to listen to. Not sure if that’s nostalgia, or simply because I’m a freak. Maybe both.
Saturday, September 9th:
I’ve got some perfect vibes going on right now. This is the last day that I’ll be able to blow off life for a while, and I’m making the most of it.
I bought one of those LED strips that are all the rage nowadays, and I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner. My office is now bathing in a ghoulish glow, which perfectly complements the Halloween commercial compilations that I’ve been running on YouTube.
Add a bag of the new Tostitos Spooky Pumpkins and my first-ever can of Liquid Death, and it’s like October 31st up in here. (Also, don’t laugh, but before today I had no idea that Liquid Death was just sparkling water. I thought it was alcoholic, or at least some kind of energy drink.)
And to put a cherry on top, it just started thundering. I am very much looking forward to my Haunted Homebody Saturday. Let it serve as a reminder that you don’t need to do a whole lot to get in the spirit. Sometimes, all it takes are weird snacks and the right lighting.
Friday, September 8th:
I WANT THE SUSPIRIA PEACOCK! It’s a matter of life and death. I’ve spent much of this week searching for anything remotely like it, but nothing comes close. Even the crystal peacock from Swarovski pales in comparison, and that thing costs more than the 2023 model Ford Super Duty F-450 Limited.
The “Suspiria Peacock,” of course, refers to a crucial decoration belonging to the Big Bad Witch at the end of Dario Argento’s Suspiria. I was very late to hop on that movie’s bandwagon (egregiously so, given that it came out in 1977), but it’s become such a favorite.
I recently revisited the film, and I’ve been on a kick ever since. Catch me blasting Goblin’s score while reading ancient Reddit threads about possessed dogs and rooms full of barbed wire. It’s been fun, but it’s all just dancing around the issue: I NEED THAT PEACOCK, and I won’t be satisfied until it’s on my nightstand. Right next to the well-worn copy of Tales from Jabba’s Palace.
Anyway, if you’ve never seen Suspiria, you definitely should. I mean, you definitely should if you’re already into horror. Unlike some of the other scary movies I’ve pitched, this ain’t the one to start off with. But man, it’s so good. And so red. And there’s a cool peacock!
Thursday, September 7th:
Went on a little Halloween hunt this morning, which was frustratingly fruitless until I remembered that the searching is half the point. I was in a part of Jersey that I never go to normally, hitting stores that I probably won’t visit twice, and exchanging pleasantries with strangers that I’ll definitely never see again.
The jukebox was blasting, I had my AC cranked, and it was all atmospheric enough to help me ignore the 95-degree weather. (Seriously, it’s HOT today. It feels like the sun is deliberately fucking with you.)
Before going home, I decided to hit the 7-Eleven about two minutes away. Of course, after spending hours driving around on another planet, that was where I struck gold. Behold, the return of the Mtn Dew Pitch Black Slurpee!
It’s so good! Picture a cup full of smashed grape Fla-Vor-Ices. A lot of people forget that Mtn Dew Pitch Black was 100% a *Halloween* thing in its original inception, so yes, drinking this qualifies as a spooky activity.
