Christmas 2020

It’s nearing 2AM as I write this — technically Christmas Eve, but only barely. I’m running on fumes and bourbon, shocked that our “simple” stay-at-home Christmas has required just as much prep as any regular one. The gifts are wrapped. Everything except that weird bonsai tree

Time for my most important article of the year: Ancient Holiday Appetizers! Every December, I dig through old cookbooks looking for edible holiday thrills, no matter how out of style. This has been my favorite Christmas tradition of the past decade, full stop. I couldn’t imagine letting

The Purple Stuff Podcast’s holiday tradition continues! For the sixth straight year, we’re ready to boost your playlists with another batch of our favorite Christmas songs! With so many volumes under our belt, this was a tall order! Me and Jay from Sludge Central dug deep to come up wi

If you’re already a Dino Drac Funpack subscriber, good news: You’re among the only people locked in for the December Funpack! For the rest of ya: Subscriptions are maxed out for this month, but I will have a few spares to sell once I finish the first shipments. Skip to the bottom for i

There are some big swings in this edition of Classic Christmas Commercials, so if you thought I’d be down to the dregs by now, THINK AGAIN. A Fruity Pebbles Christmas! (1986) I’ve covered this spot before, but in an ancient article that’s unrelated to this series. Forgive me for doub

I’m posting this on a Saturday night, which doesn’t strike me as the best time to launch thousand-word articles about milkshakes and peppermint bark. Oh well. It’ll still be here on Monday. Get set for the second edition of 2020’s Hottest Holiday Junk Food. If you missed the first

Welcome to December! Like clockwork, the minor draft from the window I sit beside — endurable through most of the year — now has my right hand feeling like the discarded prisoner from Star Trek VI’s snow jail sequence. Most of the ads in this edition of Classic Christmas Comm

The holiday season is all about traditions, and one of mine is naming the best toys from old department store catalogs. Let’s head back to 1992, when the 47th and 48th hottest things going were Swans Crossing and 3 Ninjas. Behold, JCPenney’s 1992 Christmas catalog! Over 500 pages’ wo

Happy Thanksgiving week, everyone! The festivities may be muted this year, but you can still depend on a few of the usual traditions — like, say, the Purple Stuff Podcast’s annual review of an old Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! This year, me and Jay from Sludge Central have sele

How about a new edition of Classic Christmas Commercials? Okay good, you approve! If you’re new to the site, this is where I gush about ancient TV spots that have some tie to Santa Claus, no matter how minor. The commercials below were rescued from old VHS tapes with incorrect labels. �

Okay guys, I’m ready to show ya Dino Drac’s November Funpack, which IMO is one of the best ever — and certainly one that’ll help you get into the holiday spirit! Space is limited, so don’t wait long if you want in! UNITED STATES ONLY! LIMITED SUPPLY! It’s a huge dose of nos

I’ve collected several of this year’s hottest holiday junk foods, and by “collected” I mean “ate ravenously.” One good thing about the constant barrage of bad news is that you totally get a pass for eating garbage. Cut to a shot of me holding up the latest terrible newspaper wi

You’ve heard of Brach’s Turkey Dinner Candy Corn, right? A whole Thanksgiving dinner in candy corn form? It’s as gross as it sounds! Me and Jay got our hands on a few bags for a Purple Stuff Podcast taste-test. (We haven’t released a minisode in years, and what better excuse than g

By this point in November, I’m usually a week deep into Dino Drac’s holiday season. Alas, in 2020, it’s been a struggle to find a moment when my trivial shtick wouldn’t seem tone-deaf. I’m not sure if we’re really there yet, but I gotta dip my toes in the water at least! Even b