The Spooky Foods Graveyard!

#28: Cadbury Screme Eggs!
(Introduced in 2012)

I hope this isn’t true – and if it isn’t, I’ll happily pull these out of the graveyard – but it looks like Cadbury Screme Eggs have been discontinued.

I’m so disappointed. I mean, I guess I have no right to be, given that I hadn’t bought one in years. But I loved seeing them out there! I gave them so much moral support!

Cadbury Screme Eggs hatched in 2012, and I flipped out when I first saw them. I grew up loving Cadbury Eggs. It was the only thing that my Easter baskets HAD to have. So you take that and turn it into a Halloween candy? 10/10, no notes.

If you never got to try one, they were just like regular Cadbury Eggs, but with a ghoulish green candy yolk. It was such a simple mod, but that was all they needed. Well that and a great name. “Screme Egg.” That’s why they made the big bucks.

Hey, Cadbury? Do you read blogs? If you’re reading this one, please bring back the Screme Egg. I promise I’ll actually buy them if you do. Tons of them. Like at least five.

#27: Fruity Yummy Mummy!
(Introduced in 1988)

I think the internet has enough Fruity Yummy Mummy factsheets. Would you mind if I used this space for a personal anecdote instead?

During its original run, Fruity Yummy Mummy was in production from 1988 through 1991. But as late as *1996*, I could’ve purchased a box any time I wanted, from a nearby corner store that played fast and loose with expiration dates.

My city has many such stores, which really only exist to sell cigarettes, alcohol and lotto tickets. The rest of the stock just sits around collecting dust. Nobody touches it. Over the years, I’ve posted several treasures found at these places, from Pac-Man Pasta to Fruity Bubble Gum Hi-C.

Unfortunately, like a big stupid head, I never bought the ratty boxes of Fruity Yummy Mummy, which were on a shelf at a little store no more than five minutes from my childhood home. Granted, the cereal was “only” a few years past its expiration date by then, but I did intend to buy it. Even then, I knew the decorative value of old food packaging!

Why did I hesitate, you ask? Well, I was a teenager at that point, and buying old cereal did carry some social risk. My weird clothes and dyed hair gave me enough trouble in the neighborhood; I certainly didn’t need to get caught walking past the handball court with a five-year-old box of Fruity Yummy Mummy.

Alas, one day I walked into the store and discovered that all of the ancient goodies had vanished. I guess the guy who owned the place finally got paranoid. I’ve never forgiven myself for missing out on the stale Fruity Yummy Mummy, but I did learn an important lesson about seizing opportunities while you can.

#26: Halloween Lunchables!
(Introduced in 2013)

Halloween Lunchables technically debuted in 2012, but it wasn’t until 2013 that they really brought their A-game.

This deluxe set featured non-spooky nachos and cheese, but everything else was as Halloweeny as could be. The dessert was a chocolate-covered crispy rice witch, which was either made by Russell Stover or just did a good job of looking like it was.

And then, the grand finale: A full Ghoul-Aid Jammers pouch! Back when the liquid was still blackberry-flavored and purple-colored, to boot! Ghoul-Aid Jammers debuted that same year, so this was a huge get for Lunchables.

Hard to believe this was ten years ago! I hold out hope that we’ll see another Halloween Lunchables kit someday, but sadly, it doesn’t look like 2023 will be the year. C’mon guys… I need an excuse to eat tiny-sized turkey slipmats again.

#25: Farley’s Scary Fruit Snacks!
(Introduced in 1991)

What a tremendous design this was! Course, Farley’s was no stranger to loud, strange fruit snack boxes… you might remember them as the company who made the Ninja Turtles look like they were drawn by a team of especially talented chimpanzees.

While I never personally tried these fruit snacks, the photo on the corner indicates that they came in those milky, solid colors. (Like the Great Whites from Shark Bites.) I don’t always love those, but here, they definitely made the Halloween shapes pop.

But can we get back to that box for a second? Am I the only one who is now inspired to break out some crayons and color a bunch of intentionally off-model monsters? These motherfuckers made the bat white, and I have nothing but respect for that.

PS: Research tells me that Farley’s Scary Fruit Snacks came back every Halloween season from 1991 through 1997. Pretty impressive!

#24: Halloween Astro Pops!
(Introduced in 1998)

This spooky spin on the classic Astro Pop was only available in 1998, and you can’t say that they didn’t give it their all. Instead of just swapping a few colors, these Halloween Astro Pops featured three distinct all-new flavors.

Layered from top to bottom were Orange Ghoul, Vanilla Ghost and Chocolate Goblin, creating an orange-white-brown color scheme that fit perfectly with the season.

I bought a pile of these a while back. They’re expired, obviously, but they’re also misshapen from years of storage in a room that was apparently too warm. As they’re likely the last remaining examples of this candy, I consider it my personal responsibility to ensure that they take no additional damage.

I think Step 1 in that process involves shoving them into a corner of my office and forgetting they’re there until 2025. Similar strategies worked well enough for everything else I own!

#23: Freddy’s Bubble Gum!
(Introduced in 1989)

Given my complete inability to shut up about Freddy’s Bubble Gum, longtime readers had to know this was coming. Released by Topps (naturally), these were tubes of teensy tiny bubble gum squares that nobody would’ve wanted had they not been married to Fred Fuckin’ Krueger.

The tubes closely resembled the ones used for Push Pops. Perhaps overestimating consumer interest, Topps produced TWELVE different versions, each with a different photo of Freddy on the cap… along with some very odd captions. (My forever-fave was the cap that read, “The Freddy Nobody Knows.” Deep!)

While Freddy is arguably more famous than ever, these came out when he was at his most mainstream. Toys, clothing, a Nintendo game, a syndicated TV series, this insane bubble gum, plus whatever he was doing on the big screen… Freddy was everywhere, and the more people complained about a serial killer getting so much merch, the more we all wanted it.

#22: Slimer Candy!
(Introduced in 1989)

These Slimer-shaped vessels were filled with chalky, bland, pastel-colored candies patterned after various Ghostbusters-related items. (Slimer, the Ghostbusters II logo, and then finally a hot dog, which I assume was at Slimer’s request.)

Commonly known as “candy heads,” Topps made a million of these for all sorts of movies, shows and even video games. All through the ‘80s and ‘90s, every character kids cared about got the same treatment. There were containers for Gizmo, Darth Vader, Toxie, ALF and more than I could list.

Depending on your POV, the candy inside was either “borderline okay” or “unfinishably awful.” Didn’t matter much, because the only reason kids bought these was to turn the containers into figure puppets. We would’ve paid the same price if they were empty.

If you remember having one but can’t remember how you got it, 50 bucks says it was from the impulse section at KB Toys. That’s where all of the weird Topps candy met, bred and multiplied.