Dinosaur Dracula!

Features

These are special articles. Long articles. Lots of big photos. Too many adjectives. Quirky header images. You will need more than sixty seconds to process any of these.

Also: This is an extremely small sampling of the ridiculousness all over Dino Drac, so if you’re new to the site, you may want to check the intense blog archive.


Kenner 1992 Action Toy Guide!

Remember those awesome color catalogs that used to come free whenever you bought a “big toy?” In Kenner’s 1992 Action Guide, kids drooled over pages and pages of great toys, from Batman figures to Nerf balls! Check out some of the highlights, here!

Eight Great Monsters!

Belial! Mutagen Man! Grand Inquisitor Kray-Tor! Get a load of EIGHT GREAT MONSTERS, yanked from thirty years’ worth of strange movies, shows and comic books!

Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments!

Over SIXTY Dino Drac readers combined their creative talents for this MONSTER of a feature. Go on a tour of DINO DRAC’S LUXURY APARTMENTS — the strangest place in the universe!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.

Counting down ten reasons to see the best Freddy Krueger movie ever: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors! Everything from the “Freddy snake” to the “Wizard Master” and beyond!

Dino Drac’s Patchwork Project!

More than 130 Dino Drac readers sent in weird and wonderful “patches” of art, to be included in a ridiculous virtual quilt. I cannot thank the participants enough. I think we’ve created something beautiful together. Strange, but beautiful. You won’t believe your eyes. This is six feet of pure awesome.

Amazing Stories: “Mirror, Mirror” Episode Review.

It’s my third most favorite episode of the classic anthology series, Amazing Stories! And *definitely* the scariest! “Mirror, Mirror” pits a poor man against a vile monster who only shows himself in reflective surfaces. Dig it.

Pokemon Food Extravaganza!

Vintage Pokemon foodstuffs! Pop-Tarts! Eggo Waffles! Pasta! Cereal! It’s four pages of expired edibles! A Pokemon foodstravaganza!

The Top 30 Cabin in the Woods Monsters!

Three-page mega monster feature! From Fornicus to the giant snake to the killer robot to the Elder Gods themselves, here are my favorite THIRTY monsters from The Cabin in the Woods!

Ten Terrific Comic Book Ads!

Another batch of great old comic book ads! This time, I’m upping the ante with full page ads, from big companies, promoting stuff you might actually remember! Everything from Game Genies to the Kool-Aid Wacky Warehouse, plus fruit snacks that looked like rocks. Fun!

Sega Master System: Pro Wrestling Review.

Reviewing 1986’s Pro Wrestling, for the Sega Master System. Can I take the Mad Soldiers all the way to the top? Find out in twenty images or less.

TMNT Busy Builders Playset!

A rare gem from the early ’90s, get a load of this INCREDIBLE Coloforms playset, with fourteen cardboard figures and many places to hide them. One of the coolest Ninja Turtles toys ever!

10 Old Soda Cans, Explored.

From Jolt Cola to Dr Slice to some crazy thing based on Life Savers, here is the partial history of SODA, as told through ten old cans.

10 Things I Want From Christmas Vacation!

Besides the moose mugs, I mean. From cat food Jell-O to wacky pajamas, here are ten things I MUST HAVE from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation!

The 1998 Sears Wish Book!

More fun with the Sears Wish Book! The 1998 catalog was packed with that year’s hottest stupid things, from Tamagotchis to Teletubbies, and even a 6′ inflatable Godzilla!

The 1992 Sears Wish Book!

In its day, the Sears Wish Book was the only surefire avenue to a merry Christmas. Here are fifteen treasures pulled from the pages of the 1992 edition. From golden Ninja Turtles to crayon-shaped fish tanks!

Creepy Commercials Countdown!

Daily through October, I’ll be reviewing a different Halloween commercial from yesteryear. Everything from toys to movies to food, with a spooky, grainy twist.

Apple Uglies & Popcorn Uglies!

A Halloween recipe and art project, all in one! Learn how to transform apples, popcorn, corn syrup and candy into hideous, edible monsters! Apple Uglies and Popcorn Uglies!

Count Chocula Through The ’90s!

This is the story all about how Count Choc got flipped, turned upside down. See Count Chocula evolve from simple monster to marketing machine over the course of eight cereal boxes from the ’90s.

Random Nintendo Memories!

Using an old Nintendo Player’s Guide to spark ’em, here are ten random memories about ten random Nintendo games. Zelda! Castlevania! Even 1942! All photos now with a terrible color overlay!

Friday the 13th: Ranking the VHS Box Art!

I am going to rank the videocassette box designs for every Friday the 13th movie. My personal feelings about each film will be completely discounted. I shall pretend I know nothing about Friday the 13th, aside from it being about a guy in a hockey mask who kills people.

The Masters of the Universe Slime Pit!

Visit the SLIME PIT! Made in 1985, this was the one guaranteed way to turn He-Man into a slimy, super-powered idiot. Also starring Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart.

The Toys “R” Us “R” Treat Box, from 1992!

The Toys “R” Us Treat Box! A brilliant ditty stuffed with samples of Fruit Stripe and Crunch ‘n Munch! Here’s an item-by-item breakdown detailing the glories of the very best giveaway in the history of free samples. Also, Harley in a Batman mask.

Sega Master System: Casino Games Review.

Made in 1989 for the Sega Master System, “Casino Games” floored me with a mix of evil poker players, catchy music, and some kind of mutant dinosaur/alligator thing. This is its story.

Eight Great Comic Book Ads!

Scanned from the pages of decades-old comic books, be jealous of lost offers for “Space Ice” and flashing skull keychains. Here are eight great comic book ads!

Fright Flicks Trading Cards!

Fright Flicks trading cards were 1988’s best way to collect things with photos of Freddy Krueger and werewolves on them. And since they were made by Topps, you got free gum out of the deal, too.

Real Crimes: The Unicorn Killer!

Ira Einhorn was a semi-famous brainy activist who killed his girlfriend and hid her corpse in his apartment for over a year. For some reason, this was turned into a hidden object game.

Ninja Turtles Mega Mutants!

From Playmates’ original series of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys comes a deranged giant bee and a mosquito just as large. How will the Turtles get out of this one?