I’ve received no less than two dozen messages from readers eager to hear my thoughts about Nabisco’s new Watermelon Oreos. And if we remove the word “dozen” from the preceding statement, it’d actually be true.

Behold, Watermelon Oreo cookies. On one hand bizarre, yet still perfect for summer. I’ve become so desensitized to Oreo upgrades that nothing surprises me anymore, but for those who haven’t closely studied Nabisco’s obsession with freaky Oreo flavors over these past many years, I concede that this may be big news. If you’re wondering why I’m writing like this, I finished reading A Game of Thrones literally fifteen minutes ago.

(Biggest differences between that and the TV show? I guess I can’t mention them here without being spoileriffic. I will say that the Eyrie sounded a hell of a lot more impressive in the book than it looked on television. I was especially fond of the mules!) Read More…

I don’t know why I’ve waited so long to feature this set. It’s one of the best Vintage Vending collections yet!

The “Magic Tricks and Jokes” assortment is like an old Johnson Smith ad come to life. The collective charm far outweighs the fact that every item on the card is a hunk of junk, at least in the practical sense. (Even the truly neat items were miniaturized to the point of pointlessness, unless your head really is tiny enough to don Groucho glasses with a three-inch diameter.)

The set is from 1987 – right within the era of the legendary “50 cents each” ads that waited inside so many comic books and kiddy magazines, offering the full-sized versions of these tiny treasures.

I don’t know if I can truthfully say that squirt flowers and phony vampire fangs were ever “all the rage,” but if you were going to pick a year to turn them into vending machine fodder, you could do a lot worse than 1987. Read More…

I found patriotic Pop-Tarts.

Okay, so exactly how popular are Pop-Tarts, anyway? I can’t name another food that gets anywhere near this many special editions. Kellogg’s goes nuts for every holiday, and I don’t just mean the big ones. If it’s on the calendar – any calendar – Kellogg’s makes a Pop-Tart for it. (For some holidays, they even make two!)

So no, I’m not surprised to see these. Frosted Red, White and Berry Pop-Tarts are “bursting with berry flavor” and colored like our nation’s flag. More importantly, they arrive in a box so aggressively celebratory that I’m halfway crocked just from looking at it. Read More…