2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 1!
It might not be fair, but every Halloween season is judged by its junk food. I gotta wonder how things will play out this year, when the world is upside-down. Like, does Burger King just say “fuck it,” or should I be waiting for them to announce a Burger from the Black Lagoon?
Quantity matters, but quality does, too. I’m happy to report that even if this year’s crop ends up being smaller, it certainly isn’t lesser. The new snacks and candies have been tremendous, and more than enough to carry a season.
With that, here’s the first edition of 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food — the continuation of an annual tradition that’s as old as Dino Drac. I will make you hungry, this I promise.
Reese’s Franken-Cup!
(Found at: Stop & Shop)
While I wouldn’t necessarily call Reese’s Franken-Cups the “best” of 2020’s Halloween candies, it’s certainly the leader, and the candy we’ll associate most with this season after it’s over.
The two-tone peanut butter cups either taste exactly like the regular ones or just slightly different, depending on who you talk to. I’m of the mind that they are different, but that the silkier green creme is almost totally buried under the chocolate and peanut butter. Well, that’s fine. Regular Reese’s Cups rock.
My one criticism is that if there was ever a time to ignore the style guide and go wild with the packaging, this was it. That wrapper needed a little more oomph — like maybe a wave of green on the left, or some sweet Frankenstein bolts flanking the logo.
GRADE: A-. They are Frankenstein-themed Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, so “A-” is literally the lowest I could go. Read More…
Halloween on the Ancient Internet: Part 2!
Make a cup of coffee, fire up the 56k modem and settle in for another edition of Halloween on the Ancient Internet. If you missed the first edition, I dove into the depths of the Internet Archive to rescue little slices of Halloween goodness from the late ‘90s and early 2000s.
This time, we’re visiting the ghosts of Robert Stack, Hollywood Video and Spyro the Dragon.
Al Gore: The Pumpkin Stencil?
(October 2000)
The Pumpkin Masters company — makers of all manner of carving and decorating kits — is alive and well, and it’s neat how their current website feels like a natural evolution of this 2000 version.
That was an election year, of course, and Pumpkin Masters grabbed headlines by offering free stencils based on then-candidates Al Gore and George W. Bush. If you can figure out how to print them at proper sizes, here’s Al and here’s George. In pumpkin stencil form, they look like maps of fictional lands from Game of Thrones. Read More…
Old Halloween Newspaper Clippings, #8!
Welcome to another edition of Old Halloween Newspaper Clippings — and the first for the 2020 season!
I’ve always loved writing these articles, even if they’ve never exactly stirred Dino Drac’s audience to chant my name at sports games. Really, you’d think thousand-word essays about junk from thirty-year-old newspapers would be a bigger deal.
In this series, I post old newspaper clippings that have some tie to the Halloween season, or at least to the horror genre. It’s a chance for me to work in some real deep cuts, and for you to imagine a world without color.
Count Chocula Double Fudge Pops!
(June 1995)
Count Chocula Double Fudge Pops came and went in a flash. They arrived in 1995 and didn’t make it to ‘96. In that respect, the pops were not unlike The Yeti from World Championship Wrestling.
The low-fat treats (made with NutraSweet) lived up to their “double fudge” name with hard, icy outsides and soft, chewy insides. If you remember chocolate Bonkers, picture them as popsicles.
The box — blazing yellow and bursting with common fonts — looked like something I would’ve thrown together on Jasc Paint Shop fifteen minutes after installing the program. I’m not saying that to be mean, because I really do love it. Read More…
Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 26!
Get set for the 26th edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, featuring spooky ads that I rescued from decaying VHS tapes. This series is as old as Dino Drac itself, and it wouldn’t be the Halloween Countdown without a few new chapters!
The Real 976-EVIL Hotline! (1988)
If you’ve never seen 976-EVIL, it’s about a “novelty” hotline secretly run by Satan, who possesses anyone who calls in. It’s a fairly famous film that I’m sure you’ve at least heard of, but here’s something even hardcore fans don’t know: 976-EVIL inspired a *real life* hotline!
That hotline promoted the film, sure, but it was mostly there for a quick buck. It even borrowed 976-EVIL’s “horror-scope” concept, which I assume involved protracted descriptions of the terrible things that would happen to callers after they hung up.
In this extremely rare TV spot (I think I’m the first to put it online), you’ll note that every single shot is from 976-EVIL. As I was only nine when this commercial aired, I consider myself lucky that I never caught it during any of those late night Cheers reruns. Shit would’ve wrecked me! Read More…