I know I’m running late on this, but in my defense, that’s very typical of me. Dino Drac’s February Funpack is finally here, and it’s loaded to the brim with stuff that you didn’t need five minutes ago, but definitely do now.
It’s genuinely one of the most eclectic Funpack assortments ever. If I could ascribe to it any theme at all, it’s “we’re in the cold winter months and I wanted to give ya a bunch of nonsense to make a stay-at-home Saturday more entertaining.”
Subscriptions are currently closed, but I have a solid number of spares that I can offer on an individual basis. The February Funpack is $25, and that includes shipping to anywhere in the United States. Zip to the bottom for ordering info, or keep reading to learn about everything in this month’s box!
From 1994, you’ll each receive ONE of these two Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers books, which I believe were sold at school book fairs in the mid ‘90s. They’re freakin’ awesome, and both contain some color photos if you hate text. (Though if anything will make you enjoy text, it’s Rita Repulsa.)
Up for grabs are two titles, Putty Attack and The Super Zords. I have equal amounts of each, so whichever one you think you’d like more, you have a 50% shot at it!
These books are in totally unread condition, and at worst have minor cover wear from storage. They’re coming straight out of factory cases, so you’ll be the first one to crease the binding. Enjoy, and remember, the book report is due Monday.
Next is this goofy and totally awesome Incredible Hulk plush doll, from Kellytoy in 2003. Just like the books, these are coming out of factory cases, in never-used condition. They still have their tags attached!
These came out around the time of the Eric Bana movie, which got crazy hype in 2003 but has been totally forgotten in the years since. So yeah, these aren’t just Hulk dolls, they’re Hulk dolls that are OVER TWO DECADES OLD.
Each stands around five inches tall, though I should probably pick a word besides “stand” because trust me, they cannot do that. I love these little monsters, and I know you will too!
It’s been a while since I’ve included a big stack of vintage trading card packs, so let’s make up for lost time. The February Funpack comes will all four of these packs, including:
– G.I. Joe 30th Salute (1994)
– Batman Forever (1995)
– DC Bloodlines (1993)
– Star Trek 30th Anniversary (1991)
The end result is a giant pile of trading cards for you to ogle on the living room floor. Maybe go the extra mile and get yourself one of those card binders with the plastic pages that smell faintly of chlorine. I’ll leave the particulars up to you, but yeah, you’re getting a lot of old trading cards.
IMPORTANT NOTE: While I should have enough of each pack to cover everyone, I may need to make some substitutions if I run short. If I do, don’t worry, they will be upgrades, not downgrades!
Okay, the next item isn’t especially old, but it’ll still make you feel like a kid. You’ll each get ONE of these Brainstem Crystal Blocks kits, which are basically unofficial LEGO sets. I love them!
Each 33-piece set will let you build some kind of vehicle, from a truck to a plane to helicopter and beyond. There’s even one that looks like the ED-209 from RoboCop. There are eight different in all, and you’ll get one at random.
Whether you use it to build the intended vehicle or something of your own design, I leave up to you. Each kit is case-fresh and in its original sealed box. (And yes, they include instructions.) The resulting toys are on the small side, but they’re still super fun.
Snack time! You’ll each get both packages of deliciousness shown above, starting with a fresh retail pack of Twizzlers Nibs. That’s not a random inclusion, by the way. I happen to be a big proponent of Twizzlers Nibs. In my opinion, it’s the only Twizzlers product that hasn’t lost a step over the years. I’ve been hoping to work those into a Funpack for years now, and I’m glad the day is finally here!
You’ll also receive a four-pack of Dubble Bubble’s Cry Baby extra-sour bubble gum, which, yes, despite its nostalgia points is still in wide production! I’m glad to be getting rid of these because I can’t stop eating my supply. They’re really sour and REALLY good.
This month’s 5×7” cardstock mini-poster recreates an old Sunday newspaper advertisement for Gremlins Cereal, a personal fave and possibly the first limited edition cereal I can remember eating.
Joining it is this month’s exclusive 2×2” sticker, featuring an HBO promo screen for A Nightmare on Elm Street 3. Oof, right in the feels on that one. Enjoy sticking it on whatever you stick stickers on!
Rounding things out, you’ll also receive this month’s Funpack Newsletter, plus an exclusive essay that will never be reprinted on the site.
This month’s extremely random essay is called Microwave Memories, and it’s about all the weird stuff I used to nuke before running off to my bedroom to watch sitcom reruns. Come for the Ellio’s, stay for the Pop Qwiz Popcorn.
So yep, you’ll get all of the above for $25, shipped anywhere in the United States!
If you’re already a subscriber and you’d like to stay that way… do nothing! You’re all set!
If you’re not a subscriber but you’d still like to purchase the February Funpack, you can do so by clicking the link below. (While supplies last!)
The February Funpacks will be shipped no later than Thursday, 2/22. It’s cutting it a little close this month; I do expect them all to arrive before February is over, but if yours comes on March 1st or 2nd, just pretend it’s still February. Thanks, all!