The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/14 – 12/15/12.

A tree! Dino Drac is PISSSSED. He’s pissed, and it’s all my fault. I made such a fuss about how Playmobil was only going to give us good gifts for the rest of December. Now we got a tree, and it’s not even a WHOLE tree. It’s really just a branch. Today’s gift is a

BFCDAW #12: Karen and Shirley.

Here’s Karen Carpenter and Shirley Manson, singing a duet at an outdoor Christmas concert. Explanation: For the past week, I’ve spent my entire commuting hours listening to nothing but The Carpenters’ Christmas album and a Garbage greatest hits compilation. Garbage broke big when I w

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/13/12.

A gecko! I like him. He’s tiny, he’s drowsy, and he looks a lot like a baby alligator. (Despite this, I am sure that he’s a gecko. I’ve never been more sure of anything.) His arrival was not without drama. Dino Drac assumed the gecko to be food, and was salivating like

1995 Christmas Crunch with HOLIDAY FROSTING.

You might think that I’ve exhausted the well of Christmas Crunch posts, but nuh uh. I may have written about that cereal fifty times, but I never told you about the time it came with cake frosting. This super special version of Christmas Crunch came out in 1995, and if not for Coolio, wo

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/12/12.

Let’s get something straight. This isn’t just some random patch of grass covered in weeds and flowers. It’s a miniature golf course. Granted, it’s a miniature golf course with only one hole, and it comes with no clubs or balls. So what? It’s only December 12th. There are still pl

BFCDAW #11: Good looking cookies.

Today is busy. I’m only BCFDAW’ing because I need to push that eel sushi off of the main page as soon as possible. There. Much better. A palatable set of Christmas cookies, purchased for WAY TOO MUCH MONEY from one of those design-your-own-salad places. ($9 for two cookies, and no, I w

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/11/12.

A raptor. (!!!) Just like the ones from Jurassic Park. But so much more orange. Dino Drac is pleased, but he hesitates to really let loose. “I’m just worried that this isn’t a real raptor. I don’t want to start screaming about raptors if people are going to tell us that it’s some

BFCDAW #10: The Christmas Sushi Roll.

There’s a new feature up, listing ten strange and wonderful things I want from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. (Including Aunt Bethany’s cat food Jell-O. Yes.) For today’s BCFDAW, I’d like to introduce you to the “Christmas roll.” Several of New York’s sushi joints a

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/10/12.

Oh yes, the party has truly begun! I foresee nothing but GOOD GIFTS from here on out! Proof’s in the pudding. Of course, in this case, “pudding” refers to a scorpion and a video camera. Not since car tires and frog legs has a combination seemed so natural. I’ve endured many Playmo

Five good things from the Christmas Fair!

Wow, what a handsome header image that is. “He worked really hard, Grandma.” If you read me back on X-E, you know all about this Christmas fair. The one with the “basket raffles.” I’ve gone to this church-hosted Christmas fair every year for as long as I can remember. It can be a

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/9/12.

Yesterday, you may have seen a post about how I was canceling the site’s Christmas season due to time-and-other constraints. As you can see, that post is no longer here. And we have a solid argument from Dino Drac to thank. “I know you’re busy, but I just got a giant python. You sure

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/8/12.

Okay, NOW things are starting to feel like Christmas. Today’s gift is a complete DINOSAUR SKELETON, which arrived in pieces for Dino Drac to put together. (As you might imagine, that was a macabre image. In human hands it would have only seemed like an archaeological process, but Dino Dr

BFCDAW #9: Cheers, trunky.

It’s Friday. Fantastic freakin’ Friday. I’m so looking forward to having time to put more on the site than bad doodles and pictures of plastic shovels. But, since it is not the weekend yet, I must do what is necessary to survive: That’s a Christmas tree trunk. You know, the part yo

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/7/12.

A shovel, a pickaxe and a hatchet. Joy to the world. You can tell by Dino Drac’s forced smile that he’s not a big fan of these. And sure, I admit that this year’s Playmobil gifts are starting to feel like someone just raided their garage for passable Christmas presents. Today, a shov

BFCDAW #8: Merry Montage!

Over on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, several readers obliged me with suggestions for a painted-at-work Christmas montage. Here’s what I had time for. (Actually, in no way, shape or form did I have time for this – but I did it anyway. You can’t fire a freelancer. You can only pretend

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/6/12.

Today’s gifts include a flashlight and a pair of walkie-talkies. Hoookay. They’re junky presents, and Dino Drac isn’t shy about telling me so. “How am I supposed to make your stupid feature successful with this kind of stuff?” Hell, I don’t have the answers. I don’t choose th

BFCDAW #7: How I feel today.

I could blame the four hours of sleep, but it’s more fun to blame you.

Tabasco Bloody Mary Gift Set!

Cheap perfumes, beef logs and s’mores kits. Every December, the cavalcade of crappy gift sets comes back out of hiding, charming the great many of us who refuse to put real work into locating decent Christmas presents. They’re considered “bad” presents almost by default, no matter

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/5/12.

Dino Drac knew that Playmobil wouldn’t top yesterday’s motorcycle so soon, but a pair of ceratopsian lunchboxes is pretty damn cool. They’re made from a resilient tin – the kind that keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold. “That’s probably why they gave me two of them,”

Christmas Creature.

I made this. I made this using nothing but glue, a hunk of Styrofoam and a $5 “craft value pack” from Michaels. What should I name him?