Dinosaur Dracula!
Dinosaur Dracula
  • Chef Boyardee’s Mini Dinosaurs!

    It’s been a rough month. I needed something simple and pleasant to ease my way back into the wonderful world of low-level blogging. I think pasta shaped like dinosaurs is just the ticket. Me and Chef Boyardee don’t cross paths often nowadays. It only happens during those rare times whe

  • Martini Matt.

    I had no reason to buy this. I own lots of martini glasses and several cocktail shakers, so $9 was a lot to pay for stale crackers. Maybe I fell prey to the same thing I always fall prey to during the last week before Christmas: That sick feeling that the world will turn black

    Awesome Xmas Junk Food!

    A post like this needs no introduction. You know what you’re in for. But I still feel compelled to write one. That wretched header image will seem excessive without a small army of paragraphs beneath it. So, I’ll use this space to share my feelings about pomegranates. In summary: I lov

  • Tabasco Bloody Mary Gift Set!

    Cheap perfumes, beef logs and s’mores kits. Every December, the cavalcade of crappy gift sets comes back out of hiding, charming the great many of us who refuse to put real work into locating decent Christmas presents. They’re considered “bad” presents almost by default, no matter

  • Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts.

    Along with one or two returning holiday flavors, Kellogg’s has blessed us with all-new Frosted Marshmallow Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts, thereby increasing their streak of Pop-Tarts flavors with extremely long names to an impressive 267. Okay, so they’re not as “showy” as Kellogg’s pr

  • Christmas Crunch is back!

    Before I gush about cereal, a quick note. I’m on a gig right now, which started small but has grown into something unfathomably huge. In many ways, that is good, but it hasn’t left me with much time to write about nonsense on the Internet. I originally thought we’d be wrapping in Dec

  • Crazy Holiday Pringles!

    Pringles. A brand of ultrathin potato crisps, sold in canisters that convert nicely into coin banks. All of you already knew this. According to the ad slogan, “once you pop, the fun don’t stop.” Until recently, that was probably true. Even the worst Pringles flavor was still pretty

  • Holiday Chips Ahoy Cookies!

    I’d originally intended to bridge Dino Drac’s Halloween and Christmas seasons with some non-holiday “neutral” posts, and while I’ll still probably do that, this couldn’t wait. Google tells me that Holiday Chips Ahoy aren’t new for 2012, but tonight was the first time

  • Pumpkin Spice Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

    It’s 7 in the morning. I haven’t been to sleep yet. Instead, I’m writing about cream cheese, rushing to beat the sunrise, because it will crack my skin and turn me to ash. I don’t have a choice. According to the news, I’m going to wake up underwater. If I want to tell the wor

  • Rice Krispies Treats Pumpkin Kit!

    Thanks again to everyone who ordered a Dino Drac Halloween Print. I was pleasantly surprised with how well they sold, and from all I’ve heard, people seem to dig them. Still have some left, so if you want in, this is the week! In other, more pressing news, I made pumpkin-shaped Rice Kris

  • Halloween Lunchables YES!

    I can’t believe it. It’s finally happened. It’s taken years, but it’s finally happened. We got ‘em, folks. We got Halloween Lunchables. You have NO IDEA how long I’ve waited for this. This is my tenth year doing the Halloween Countdown, and during almost every prior edition, I

  • Halloween Milk?

    Before we dive into dairy, how about a quick shill? International orders are now accepted for the Dino Drac Halloween prints! I’ve also updated the page with some nicer photos. Thanks to everyone who ordered one so far! Sent out the first big batch this afternoon, and boy, did the people

  • Count Chocula Treats!

    Hey, have you been keeping up with the Creepy Commercials Countdown? You probably should. Clarence Clemons is there. Now here’s Count Chocula: I saw them in Target, and I flipped. They were on a rack right by the registers, but one of the store employees, who I guess had assumed the

  • Halloween Soda Cans!

    Just launched a special feature: The Creepy Commercials Countdown! A nice guy named Larry donated a slew of ancient Halloween-themed TV commercials, and in the spirit of making mountains out of molehills, I’m turning them into a month-long event. Every day during October, a new (old) cre

  • Marshmallow Pumpkin Patch Incident.

    After this post, I promise not to make weird things out of Halloween food for at least a few days. I know I’ve been doing it too much. It’s not like such features are turning me into an Internet superstar, so I must assume that there’s some deeply buried psychological need at play. T

  • Hubba Bubba’s Halloween Squeeze Pops!

    I’m currently working on a big ass feature. It has the potential to be great, but it also has the potential to be terrible, so I’m gonna need some time to wrap that baby up. With panic setting in over the thought of a Monday with no new content, I dived into my stock of

    Eggo Seasons Pumpkin Spice Waffles!

    I’ve been waiting for Eggo to make “Halloween waffles” for nearly as long as I’ve been doing the Countdown. I guess my feeble attempt to summon them by way of a voodoo crock pot was more effective than I imagined it would be, because finally, THEY ARE HERE. You know, I’d seen men

  • Sky Bar’s Zombie Food!

    It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, it was a clear and sunny afternoon. But it felt like night, thanks to a dark inner glow created in an ancient copy of Adobe Photoshop. And because ZOMBIES. One of the zombies bore a striking resemblance to Michael Jackson. Too close to be a coincid

  • Candy Corn Oreo Cookies!

    Unless you spent all of Friday completely Internet-free, you’ve heard the news. The kings and queens of Nabisco must be dancing, because the entire world has become positively drunk with glee over their latest offering: Candy. Corn. Oreos. Like I wasn’t going to hunt these down the sec

  • Spookylicious Pop-Tarts Are Back!

    I was glad to see Spookylicious Pop-Tarts make their triumphant return. Even if Kellogg’s has only been at it for a few years, Halloween Pop-Tarts have already become one of my absolute needs for a great season. The saga began in 2010, when Choc-o-Lantern Pop-Tarts were introduced. Then,

  • Cadbury Screme Eggs!

    If my hunts so far have been any indication, we’re in for one hell of a season on the Halloween candy front. So many new goodies for 2012! I’m actually frightened by how many I’ve located so far. I mean, it’s only September 4th. As much as I love giving Halloween two full months to

  • Halloween Bread?

    Pepperidge Farm may have peaked with their Goldfish crackers, but this comes close. Keep an eye out for a new pair of autumn “Swirl” breads, in the style of raisin bread, but with fruity bits that are far more appropriate for a season filled with death and monsters. Yes! On the

  • Make your own Toucan Sam!

    Before today, it’d been a long time since my last box of Froot Loops. Don’t get me wrong. Froot Loops is great, but for me, it was always a rebound. If one of the cereals I really liked did something to piss me off, I’d slide back to Froot Loops for a bit, and then,

    Marshmallows From Outer Space!

    I wanted to create something out of marshmallows, so I asked the folks on Dino Drac’s Facebook page for suggestions.  There were plenty of good ideas, but this one stood out: “A fluffy spaceship, obviously. With super interesting aliens who have a unique, snack-based culture.” T

  • Berry Blue Jell-O Recipes.

    Berry Blue Jell-O arrived in 1992, and the fanfare — at least in my imagined version of things — was enormous. Here were raspberries and blueberries, finally putting aside their differences to take over the planet. This was perhaps the first signal of the “blue candy” craze