Dinosaur Dracula!
Dinosaur Dracula
  • The Jones Soda 2013 Halloween Flavors!

    They’re BACK. The key points: 1. Jones Soda’s Halloween flavors have RETURNED. 2. This year, the collection includes Red Licorice, Candy Corn, Blood Orange and Caramel Apple. 3. I made a big long video about them! Enjoy. I’m gonna go spend an hour doing nothing productive.

  • Lucky Charms Halloween Treats!

    Today was the day that all Targets were supposed to officially switch from “back to school” from “Halloween,” or so the said the rumor mill. Turns out, the news was only partially true. I had to hit three different Targets to finally escape the spread of schoolbags and notebooks, b

  • Halloween Lunchables!

    Last night’s trip to Target was looking like another fruitless pile of trashy despair. The “back to school” section was still in full swing, and Halloween was nowhere in sight. This would’ve been much more depressing had frozen raspberries not been on sale. But miracles do happen,

  • “Tropical Terror” Fruit by the Foot!

    Another great thing about the 2013 Halloween season is that it isn’t just about the heavy hitters. Fruit Brute and Ghoul-Aid Jammers may be getting the bulk of the press, but even plenty of the simpler things are amazing. Don’t overlook ‘em! For example, take Fruit by the Foot’

  • Ghoul-Aid Jammers ARE HERE!

    I finally found them. THANK GOD. Now I can breathe again. I’d like to introduce you to the greatest thing that’s ever been served in a foil pouch: GHOUL-AID JAMMERS! *cheers* It’s great stuff. Amazing flavor, amazing packaging, amazing everything. One note: I didn’t

  • Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin Coffee K-Cups!

    Happy Labor Day! Historically one of the worst days to post new content! Let’s celebrate with four minutes of me drinking coffee! Pumpkin K-Cups from Dunkin’ Donuts may sound like an acquired taste, but trust me, they’re GOOD. As someone who is cursed to love Halloween while

  • The Starburst Candy Corn Taste-Test.

    I’m trying to keep my Halloweenosity in check until 8/31, but it’s kinda hard when life keeps throwing things like this in my face: Yep, it’s Starburst Candy Corn! Fruit-flavored and appropriately colored, they’re ideal for people who hate the flavor of candy corn,

  • VIDEO: Frute Brute & Fruity Yummy Mummy!

    It’s been an absolutely crazy few days, and it’s all because of Fruity Yummy Mummy. (Okay. Frute Brute, too.) If you’ve been paying attention to Dino Drac and its ten thousand social media extensions, you know that I’ve been all over the “returning Monster Cereal” news. Well, i

  • Frute Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy ARE BACK.

    Between 10AM and 12PM, I received word from three different readers about the cereals. At that point, Frute Brute was only a "possibly-maybe," but I had a confirmed Fruity Yummy Mummy sighting from an employee of a certain national chain.

  • Ocean Creatures Crackers!

    The real world kept me from Dino Drac for a week, and now I’m all rusty. I have longer posts waiting to be written, but today calls for something breezy and brainless. How about cheese crackers shaped like squid? Ocean Creatures! I found them at Dollar Tree, and was immediately enamored

  • Impossibly Pink Rice Krispies Treats.

    It all started with the marshmallows. Kraft’s “Strawberry Mallows” are pinker than pigs, and I can never say no to a new type of marshmallow. (I understand that these might not be new, but I’d never seen them before this weekend.) It’s a sick habit, really it is. I don’t even l

  • Watermelon Oreo Cookies!

    I’ve received no less than two dozen messages from readers eager to hear my thoughts about Nabisco’s new Watermelon Oreos. And if we remove the word “dozen” from the preceding statement, it’d actually be true. Behold, Watermelon Oreo cookies. On one hand bizarre, yet still perfec

  • Red, White & Berry Pop-Tarts!

    I found patriotic Pop-Tarts. Okay, so exactly how popular are Pop-Tarts, anyway? I can’t name another food that gets anywhere near this many special editions. Kellogg’s goes nuts for every holiday, and I don’t just mean the big ones. If it’s on the calendar – any calendar – Kel

  • Red Robin’s Wolverine Burger!

    There’s a new Wolverine movie coming out next month. I know nothing about it. But I noticed that the internet was going crazy this morning, when news broke of a pair of Wolverine-themed hamburgers now available at Red Robin: I live for silly, fleeting promotions like this! Just imagine t

  • Patriotic Pull ‘n Peel Twizzlers!

    I found some new Twizzlers today. Most of you wouldn’t think that a new Twizzlers flavor is just cause for a complete and total shift in one’s religious beliefs and personal trajectory, but before you put a stamp on that stance, check out the photos in this review. Because Holy Jesus.

  • John Cena’s Fruity Pebbles.

    This is a wrestling post. If you’re not interested in wrestling, it’s also a cereal post. If you’re not interested in wrestling or cereal, well, I’m pretty zooted, and this could end up becoming a play-by-play of Roald Amundsen’s 1903 search for the Northwest Passage. Or maybe a

  • Cheetos Mix-Ups!

    HOT NEWS: I found new Cheetos. Cheetos Mix-Ups blend four different types of Cheetos to create what I like to call “junk food as art.” It may be unhealthy, but fans of the gloriously absurd will not be able to ignore this. The bag doesn’t have any “limited time only” warnings, bu

  • Kool-Aid Liquid Drink Mix!

    I haven’t written about Kool-Aid in such a long time. It’s making me itch and scratch. Today is my remedy. New Kool-Aid “Liquid” drink mixes are wonderfully convenient and wonderful in general. I treasure the protracted powder/sugar/water process, but the truth is, there isn’t al

  • Polly-O Pizzeria String Cheese.

    Today’s youth may take string cheese for granted, but me? No way. Never. I knew a world without string cheese, and it was as black as tar. Polly-O String Cheese came out when I was still in elementary school, and while I’m not motivated enough to do the math, that was, suffice to s

  • Chef Boyardee’s Mini Dinosaurs!

    It’s been a rough month. I needed something simple and pleasant to ease my way back into the wonderful world of low-level blogging. I think pasta shaped like dinosaurs is just the ticket. Me and Chef Boyardee don’t cross paths often nowadays. It only happens during those rare times whe

  • Martini Matt.

    I had no reason to buy this. I own lots of martini glasses and several cocktail shakers, so $9 was a lot to pay for stale crackers. Maybe I fell prey to the same thing I always fall prey to during the last week before Christmas: That sick feeling that the world will turn black

    Awesome Xmas Junk Food!

    A post like this needs no introduction. You know what you’re in for. But I still feel compelled to write one. That wretched header image will seem excessive without a small army of paragraphs beneath it. So, I’ll use this space to share my feelings about pomegranates. In summary: I lov

  • Tabasco Bloody Mary Gift Set!

    Cheap perfumes, beef logs and s’mores kits. Every December, the cavalcade of crappy gift sets comes back out of hiding, charming the great many of us who refuse to put real work into locating decent Christmas presents. They’re considered “bad” presents almost by default, no matter

  • Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts.

    Along with one or two returning holiday flavors, Kellogg’s has blessed us with all-new Frosted Marshmallow Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts, thereby increasing their streak of Pop-Tarts flavors with extremely long names to an impressive 267. Okay, so they’re not as “showy” as Kellogg’s pr

  • Christmas Crunch is back!

    Before I gush about cereal, a quick note. I’m on a gig right now, which started small but has grown into something unfathomably huge. In many ways, that is good, but it hasn’t left me with much time to write about nonsense on the Internet. I originally thought we’d be wrapping in Dec