Random Stuff

Christmas Eve was spent with my family; Christmas with Ms. X’s. When we got home last night, I professed my desire to continue partying, just moments before falling unconscious for a literal half-day. When I woke up this morning, it was with the knowledge that Campari, eggnog and Patron

Freezy Freakies. The one time I had any opinion at all about gloves. Made by Swany, they were decorated with everything ‘80s kids cared about, like robots and jets, and cute little animals. On that merit alone, they were destined for big things. 99% of gloves were boring, and if a child

Christmas Eve, 1988. I was nine years old. Our whole giant family spent most of the day in the dining room, like we always did on Christmas Eve. Actually, it wasn’t just the dining room. That dining room wouldn’t have fit even half of us. Instead, our regular table was joined by two fo

I’ve been absent for a few days, because, as it turns out, December just isn’t my month! Still, nothing can pull me out of a forced funk faster than a Friday the 13th happening during Christmastime. Thank you, Jason and Santa. Now my world is rosy again. Here’s another batch of Class

Hot damn, I finally found it. Photographic evidence of that weird thing I did back in junior high. For several years, I used our family’s Christmas Eve party as an excuse to throw my own. Guests were encouraged away from the dinner table and into my bedroom, for a look at what I called T

Holy shit, it’s Halloween. Finally? Already?! The 2013 Halloween Countdown isn’t over yet (COME BACK TONIGHT!), but I hope you enjoyed it. More importantly, I hope you enjoyed the whole damn season. I know I have. Usually, Halloween gets here, and there’s a tiny voice inside me screa

I’ve been absent for a few days, owing to several minor things that snowballed at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME. The assumption is that life went on without those three or four extra posts about candy and costumes. In any event, now I’m back, and I have more Classic Creepy Commercials! Here�

With another assist from Larry P., here’s the next batch of Classic Creepy Commercials! (You’ve read Volume 1, right?) Exactly zero of these have any clear link to the Halloween season, and yet, all of them are undeniably Halloweeny. If you’re in need of a late October sp

I’m back with another edition of “hey here are some videos sitting around the house that are tangentially related to Halloween.” Enjoy, and make sure you've read parts one and two!

If you were reading last year, you’ll probably remember the Creepy Commercials Countdown, where I did reallllly long reviews of old spooky commercials all throughout October. Given my failure to keep it updated last year, discontinuing the feature wasn’t a tough call. It took a little

Continuing on with the Vicious Videocassette Boxes series, here’s Part 2! Five more dusty old tapes, and the memories they inspire! #6: Ghoulies II (1988) Watch the trailer! You should remember the original Ghoulies from the first batch. This time, the “green toilet monster” shed his

I’ve written about my lifelong fascination with horror videos too many times to get away with it again, but the gist of it is that I don’t look at them as just “tapes.” Some are mementos, others are art, but all are more than the mere means to watch movies in an archaic way.

One of my favorite posts from last year’s Countdown was this tribute to Roseanne’s first Halloween special, titled “Boo.” The Emmy-nominated second season episode kicked off a tradition that would last until the end of the series. Every year, you could always count on the Conners t

Now, when you look at the above photo, and I tell you that that was barely a fourth of their Halloween “junk shelf” items, you might think that I hit the jackpot. Actually, I really needed to hunt for the goodies. Between the prices and the fact that so much of it was the same stuff yo

Since shipping those Cruel Summer Funpacks involved digging deep into my immense collection of trading cards, I’ve spent the past week drowning in paperboard nostalgia. With even the really old sets still being easy to find, I guess I’d overlooked just how much they used to mean to me.

It all started at a random junk store. Somewhere between the electric flyswatters, the bootleg Snuggies, and the breakfast cereals based on movies that haven’t been in theaters since 2010, I found this: An adorable tank, complete with a plastic palm tree. I’ve probably mentioned th

Every now and again, I scour local business directories for any last remaining video stores. (And please, let’s not get into any semantics battles: Even when they’re renting DVDs, I still call them “video stores.”) As you know, they’re a dying breed. I used to only complain when

If you’re unfamiliar with “candy heads,” they were candy-filled containers shaped like the heads of our most beloved TV and movie characters. But you could probably tell that from the photo. They still exist in many forms, but it isn’t like it used to be. There was a time when virt

Here’s the sequel to something I wrote back in 2007, about old McDonald’s “trayliners.” You know, the paper placemats that lined our trays whenever we ate at McD’s. Truly, the biggest disadvantage of taking your food to go was missing the chance to watch oily fries turn a

The situation, made a billion times worse: This post is about carnival mirror prizes. 99% of you have no idea what I even mean by that, and I’m in no position to explain it. We’re totally fucked here, and I haven’t even started.

I hate that I’ve learned too much to support the concept of captive killer whales being made to perform circus tricks. As a kid, I truly believed that Shamu enjoyed jumping through hoops. The entire SeaWorld brand was built around Shamu, and it’s been a Shamu-fest over there for decade

This post is brought to you by serendipity. At least, I hope it is. I’m not totally clear on what “serendipity” means. See this? It’s a baby dinosaur statue, made by Windstone. I bought it in 1992. I was thirteen years old. This poor dinosaur has had it rough. Look close and yo

One year ago today, Dinosaur Dracula hatched. It’s my baby’s birthday! Let’s party. I guess I should start with the obvious. As you can tell by the site’s new look, Dino Drac’s birthday coincides with the launch of its SUMMER SEASON — a three-month spread of the usual m

I made the mistake of trying to tidy up my office. It’s always a mistake! My entire life exists as a series of boxes and bins. Once I start going through those, there’s no end to the madness. What was only meant to be a gentle reorganization has transformed my sanctuary into an implode

Surely you remember Cinn*A*Burst! The legendary gum was Warner-Lambert’s attempt to do battle with Wrigley’s Big Red. How on Earth did they lose that war?! Cinn*A*Burst hit the scene in September of 1991, just as I was entering the seventh grade. I hated all of middle school, but the s