Ever notice how some knock-off toys are way cooler than their inspirations? Take Madballs, for example. There ain’t a single official Madball that I wouldn’t marry on a Hawaiian beach, but the bootlegs are so much better, what with their cruder charms and misapplied eye paint. Maybe I
Toys
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Horrific Mighty Max Knock-offs!
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Vending Machine Slime Capsules!
What the hell happened to vending machine slime, anyway? Once the most ubiquitous vending machine prize outside of gumballs, it’s now been more than ten years since I last saw those gorgeous capsules of neon snot. And it’s not like I haven’t been looking. It’s hard to imagine tha
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Five Random Action Figures, Part 30!
In this edition of Five Random Action Figures: A robot, a lion and a sentient chicken leg. It’s as if Baum toked extra before writing about Oz. R5-D4 Kenner’s Star Wars Collection (1978) R5-D4 was Uncle Owen’s first choice, and were it not for the droid blowing its motivator at
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Ratty 1980s Plush Dolls.
My collection of oddities includes many ratty dolls from the 1980s. Only a few are kept on permanent display; the rest live in bins and bags, too cute to throw away, but too filthy to waste shelves on. The five featured below have been trapped out of sight for years, to the point where I
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Five Random Action Figures, Part 29!
Welcome to the 29th (!!!) edition of Five Random Action Figures, posted during the busiest holiday weekend of the year. If you’re reading this between now and July 5th, congratulations, you are one of the lucky dozen to do so. Below: Five more action figures from the ‘80s and ‘90s. H
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New Ghostbusters Slime Toys!
I’m all-in on the new Ghostbusters toys, yo. It’s the first line in many years that’s compelled me to spend money recklessly. I’d never go so far to say that Mattel outdid Kenner’s Real Ghostbusters collection, but I think they’re paying it serious homage. On that note, I’ve
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Five Random Action Figures, Part 28!
Dino Drac turned four this week. Can’t believe how fast the time went! I started the site thinking it would either be my second chance or my flat-noted swan song, and I’m proud to say that Dino Drac lasting for four years points to the former. Hope you’ll stick around for another fou
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The new Ghostbusters toys are great.
Well, I resisted for as long as I could. The new Ghostbusters toys have hit stores, and there’s literally not one of them that I don’t want. I’ll wait for the inevitable clearance sales for some, but it’s been a long time since one single toy line put out so much stuff that I HAD
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Five Random Action Figures, Part 27!
Everything featured in this edition of Five Random Action Figures was found last weekend. Four came from that flea market, while the fifth was hiding at a yard sale just down the street. Total cost? Eight bucks. Considering that any two of them would’ve been a bargain for that price, I
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The Madballs eBay Dig!
Today’s objective: To find the best and weirdest Madballs collectibles currently on eBay. For an added layer of difficulty, I’m disqualifying any of AmToy’s original Madballs from this list. I want this to be a deeper dig. The goal isn’t just to show you a bunch of cool crud, but a
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A huge buncha toys from 1985.
Some print ads are worth spending whole days obsessing over. …like this one, from 1985! As part of a special co-promotion between Toys “R” Us and Post Cereal, kids had a chance to win a $1000 shopping spree. If you plucked the winning game piece from a box of Super Golden Crisp,
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Five Random Action Figures, Part 26!
Get set for another edition of Five Random Action Figures! Admission: I’m trying to hurry through these so I can get to the next milestone edition, which is when I’ll allow myself to splurge on toys that aren’t already hiding in my office bins. Can’t wait to finally buy that old Se
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Five Random Action Figures, Part 25!
In this edition of Five Random Action Figures: Tramps! Terminators! Snails! Sectaurs! Plus an Ewok. Prince Dargon Sectaurs (1985) Waaay back in the 2nd edition of Five Random Action Figures, I reintroduced you to General Spidrax, the lead villain in Coleco’s Sectaurs toy line, famous fo
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Purple Stuff Podcast: He-Man Memories!
I’ve been on a real Masters of the Universe kick lately, thanks in large part to a couple of books I got for Christmas that detailed pretty much everything about the franchise, from the toys to the toons to the comics. I admit that I haven’t been so great about keeping up with
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Arco’s Creepy-Crawly Things!
The name “ARCO” is most synonymous with a chain of cheap gas stations, but you’ve probably owned some of their toys, too. Though the company managed to score some big licenses (everything from Disney to The Chipmunks), it was arguably more famous for its fantasy and sci-fi t
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Purple Stuff Podcast: All About 1986!
Well, it’s my friggin’ birthday. I’m 37, folks. THIRTY. SEVEN. I’m not sure that I even could get away with saying that I’m in my mid-thirties anymore. Gross. It feels strange. Like, have I moved past physical growth? Am I now at the point where everything just slowly rots? Will
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Interesting He-Man finds from eBay!
Below are five of the most interesting Masters of the Universe collectibles currently on eBay. I can afford none of them. Argentinian Modulok Figure! Asking Price: $1200 The Argentinian version of the Masters of the Universe line — produced by Top Toys but still officially licensed &
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Five Random Action Figures, Part 24!
It’s time for the 24th (!!!) edition of Five Random Action Figures, the series in which I write too many words about chunks of old plastic. This time, I’m covering a red monkey, a red dragon, a grey robot, a man who is also a horse, and the guy from A Clockwork Orange. Read that
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Toys from the 1994 JCPenney Catalog!
I wanted to sneak in one last catalog review before Santa makes his magic, so here I am, blithely ignoring the dozen Very Important Things that I must get done in the next 36 hours, all for you. This time, I’m pulling pages from the 1994 JCPenney Christmas catalog. I believe I would’ve
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My thoughts on The Force Awakens. (SPOILERS.)
WARNING! This post will include THE FORCE AWAKENS spoilers. I’ll warn you again before the spoilers begin, but if you haven’t seen the movie and have plans to, PLEASE skip this post until you do. Do not read the comments on this post, either! In terms of entertainment, Star War
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Kay-Bee Toys’ 1991 Holiday Clearance Sale!
I love all of the toy store circulars that come with newspapers during the holiday season, even if the present definition limits that to Toys “R” Us and individual pity pages from Target and Walmart. You know what we’re missing? Kay-Bee Toys! I’ve written about Kay-Bee (later KB) m
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Dino Drac’s December 2015 Funpack!
Hooray! It’s finally here! Dino Drac’s December 2015 Funpack is available now, and I think this one qualifies as a doozy! (Available in the United States only!) Do I need to do the spiel again? Okay! If you haven’t been watching the site too closely, I sell monthly Funpa
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The 1983 Montgomery Ward Xmas Catalog!
Hello! Tonight I’ll be tearing apart another old toy catalog for your enjoyment. This time, Montgomery Ward’s 1983 Christmas catalog is on the slab. We didn’t have Montgomery Ward stores around here, so my firsthand knowledge is limited to stray references in long-ended sitcoms. I wa
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Five Fun Stocking Stuffer Ideas!
I love Christmas stockings. The way they look, the way they feel, the way they get filled up with tiny toys. The way they let me hammer nails into studless walls that could support nothing heavier than a 14” sock. They’re 100% great. During my earliest years, this was the one classic C
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Another Toys “R” Us Treat Box from the ’90s!
Remember when Toys “R” Us gave out adorable cardboard boxes filled with free samples? You should, because this marks the fourth time I’ve written about them. If you’re new, this old newspaper ad should bring you up to speed: That particular ad promoted what I believe was Toys “R