There’s a scene in Hellraiser: Bloodline where these goofy twin brothers get twisted into one writhing Cenobite. For the next two months, that’s us.
Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s 2017 Halloween Countdown.
(WARNING: GORY! GO FULL-SCREEN ON YOUTUBE!)
(You watched that, right? You’re supposed to watch it before you read any further. Don’t play with my flow. Also, I’m sorry the video was so gross and full of guts. I hope your kids are asleep.)
This marks the 15th anniversary of the Halloween Countdown, a tradition I started back in 2003 and hope to continue forever. Or at least through 2078, which just happens to be the officially listed weight for Mega Metagross.
What’s in store for you this year? Articles! Videos! Podcasts! Toy reviews, candy reviews, retro commercial reviews! Things you are expecting! Things you aren’t expecting! So many werewolves! At least ten werewolves!
From now through October 31st, my goal is to give you as much totally custom Halloween content as I can possibly stand making. I take tremendous pride in the fact that so many of you count on Dino Drac as part of your Halloween celebration. Outside “nice eyebrows,” it’s the biggest compliment you could give me.
We’re starting off this year’s Countdown with a bang. And a cough.
Madd Matt has returned with an all-new bag of random Halloween junk. Everything from a giant bat to a bag of tortilla chips. Watch it. You have to.
When you’re done with the video, there are two new articles waiting to be skimmed.
If you missed them on the main page, first we have a study of My Pet Monster’s costumed character appearance at a 1987 Toys “R” Us. It’s exactly as awesome as it sounds. Perfect 10.
Second, I spent too many hours figuring out what was inside Alice Hardy’s refrigerator during the opening scene of Friday the 13th Part 2. If you can stomach looking at ten pictures of Pamela’s severed head, this is the article for you.
Wait, wait! There’s more!
When you’re finished with all of the videos and articles, drop by Dino Drac After Dark, a special section of the site that’s updated every night at midnight. Watch goofy horror movies and take spooky surveys with some of the coolest, friendliest cats around.
Dino Drac After Dark will be updated every night between now and October 31st!
Oh, and did I mention the resurrection of X-E’s famous Halloween Jukebox? If you’re on a desktop computer and your Flash player isn’t hideously out of date, click the jukebox graphic on the right-side column of this page. There you’ll find a hundred songs to put you in better (darker) spirits!
And there’s more still to come. SO much more. Pounds. Piles. An oversized zebra print comforter held from the corners to make a crude bag.
Hell, Larry hasn’t even started singing yet, and no Dino Drac Halloween Countdown is complete until he does.
There is much work to be done. Many photos of fancy M&M’s to be taken. Many more existential crises as I stand in front of the bathroom mirror covered in face paint. Many pumpkins, too. At least one pumpkin.
Enjoy Dinosaur Dracula’s 2017 Halloween Countdown. Be mine, because I’m yours.