Dinosaur Dracula!

Horror Promos Rescued From VHS Tapes!

With even the most obscure horror movies now available on Blu-ray, collecting VHS tapes is mostly for the diehards. (Course, you’ll never convince me that watching something like Ghoulies doesn’t “hit different” on videocassette!)

Still, there is one unsung aspect of those old tapes that gives ‘em an advantage over all other formats. Many are loaded with weird, rare promos that were left behind as the films jumped onto discs and digital.

These would run before the movies, and they usually weren’t the sorts of spots you’d ever see on television. They pop up often enough to make every old horror tape a potential treasure trove, even if it’s of a little-loved movie that’s already on every streaming platform.

Below are five killer promos that I discovered in my tape collection. Enjoy!

Scream Greats!
Found on: Jason Lives VHS (1986)

I don’t know if it’s possible to watch that spot and not immediately want to track down the two Scream Greats videos. The first was essentially a Tom Savini doc, with behind-the-scenes footage from the films he worked on. The second, which is even more up my alley, dealt with the “real life” versions of Hollywood’s takes on satanism and witchcraft.

The spot runs for two minutes and comes off more like a featurette than a promo. I assume it was tacked onto a number of videos, but I found it on my copy of Jason Lives. Interestingly enough, this Scream Greats promo is arguably gorier than anything in that movie!

Both of the Scream Greats videos are fairly rare nowadays, with correspondingly high prices on eBay. Luckily, you can just watch them on YouTube. Here’s Volume 1, and here’s Volume 2. Read More…

Dino Drac’s Spooky September Funpack!

Time to unveil Dino Drac’s Spooky September Funpack! To the surprise of no one, it’s Halloween in a box!


UNITED STATES ONLY!

Now, here’s the deal: Subscriptions are already sold out. If you were already on the list, congratulations, you are absolutely getting the Spooky September Funpack, and you don’t need to do anything else.

If you’re not already a subscriber, good news: I DO have spares to sell this month, though with a few minor alterations. You can scroll to the bottom for info on those, but let’s start with listing all of the goodies current subscribers will be receiving this month! Read More…

Five Random Action Figures, Part 47!

It’s been almost a year since the last edition of Five Random Action Figures, and I’ve been flooded with feedback from at least two whole people demanding a new one. You win!

Since it’s the Halloween season, this is an all-spooky edition. These figures will haunt your nightmares, or at least enlarge your eBay watch list. Perhaps both, because like Pinhead says, there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain.

(Okay, I don’t know if Pinhead really said that. It sounds like something he’d say, tho.)


Midnite Mike!
The Graveyard Gang (1984)

The Graveyard Gang was a collection of glow-in-the-dark bendy figures, released by POWCO in 1984. Meant to capitalize on the success of Michael Jackson’s Thriller without actually paying for the privilege, the line included six different ghouls. Obviously, Midnite Mike here was the one to get.

For a cheap figure that was more likely to be found at a mom-and-pop pharmacy than Toys “R” Us, it’s pretty great. Wearing the ten-cent version of his classic Thriller garb, Mike has lifelike hair, lifeless eyes and skin that positively beams in the dark.

The entire Graveyard Gang set is rare, with packaged figures running as high as $150 a pop. On that note, you’ll definitely want a packaged one, since the cards looked like graveyards and even came with paper coffins. Read More…

Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 27!

In this edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, you’ll see everything from an ophidian drug dealer to grainy Ghoulies. What fun we’ll have! These spots are older than you, and so am I.

If you missed Volume 26, click here. If you miss Dairy Queen’s Cotton Candy Blizzard, click here.

The Evil Snake Drug Dealer! (1992)

It’s a bright, sunny afternoon, and you’re on the couch watching DuckTales. Midway through the episode, Scrooge loses his Number One Dime… again. They cut to a commercial break. After a spot for Kool-Aid Koolers and another for Captain Ron, you get hit with this shit.

It wasn’t uncommon for anti-drug PSAs to push the envelope — to “scare you straight,” I guess — but even by those standards, this was over the top. The drug dealer’s final snake form is one of the scariest things I can remember seeing on broadcast TV, and certainly *the* scariest thing I saw during afternoon cartoons.

Given the spot’s age, the effects are amazing. This snake could’ve easily carried his own horror movie. He looks bad-way awesome, and when you factor in that voice — picture Chris Latta, but goth — it’s almost a shame he was reserved for one PSA and not like a… I don’t know, five-episode arc on Power Rangers or something. Read More…