Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 43!

    It’s been over four months since the last edition of Five Random Action Figures. Which is disgusting. Let’s fix that. Silver Surfer Marvel Super Heroes (1990) Man, that first wave in Toy Biz’s Marvel Super Heroes line was just phenomenal. I’ve occasionally criticized Toy Biz’s le

  • Junk Food of the Gods: February 2018 Edition!

    I’m trying to avoid junk food these days, but I still pay attention to it, and there are tons of seriously great snacks out there. When the world seems depressing, just remember that this same world gave us 650 varieties of Cheez-Its. Below are five things that you should be eating durin

  • 4 Frightening Facts about MOTU Slime!

    Simple as it was, SLIME was perhaps my favorite of all Masters of the Universe toys. The neon green pseudosnot taught me that toy slime wasn’t just what it literally was, but also whatever we imagined it to be. In Masters of the Universe lore, Hordak uses Slime to turn randos into zombie

  • 6 Fun Facts about Shark Bites Fruit Snacks!

    Today we celebrate Shark Bites fruit snacks. We should be doing that every day, TBH. They’ve gotta be the most famous fruit snacks in history, right? For people in a certain age group, just hearing “Shark Bites” summons all sorts of warm fuzzies. Shark Bites made good days great, and

  • Dino Drac’s February Funpack!

    Fight the February blues with Dino Drac’s latest Funpack, available now for an extremely limited time! WILL ONLY BE AVAILABLE FOR 3 DAYS! UNITED STATES ONLY! This month’s box is loaded with over 10 collectibles from the ‘80s, ‘90s and 2000s. I can’t imagine that any Dino Drac rea

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 22!

    I’ve been encoding old VHS tapes like crazy lately, collecting more commercials than my computer and two external hard drives can reasonably handle. This article is a small step in clearing the cache, but it’s mainly an excuse for me to gush about giant squid and microwave pizza. Hurri

  • Ninja Turtles: The Sad Story of Scrag.

    I’ll warn you: This article is such a deep cut that only extreme fans of the original Ninja Turtles cartoon stand any chance of finishing it. The rest of you should just come back tomorrow. So, let’s talk about Scrag. An impossible mix of Duckie and Annie Lennox, Scrag wore a pair of t

  • That one super creepy episode of Sightings.

    Back in October of 1992, SIGHTINGS aired an episode about alien abductions. The shots of space aliens looming outside bedroom windows pretty much ruined my life as a kid, but I loved that episode all the same. Let's revisit it!

  • Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, #3!

    In this edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, I gush about Karg, Grey Gorillas and even the Fun Fruit Trees. Oh, and Super Shredder too. Can't forget him.

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 21!

    Today is my birthday. I thought I’d celebrate by writing about Regis Philbin’s old Harvest Crisps commercial. You do you, I do me. Burger King’s Burger Bundles! (1987) I’ve never been wild about Burger King. As a kid, I’d only eat there out of geographical convenience or beca

  • 1980s Junk Food Spotted in INTRUDER!

    If you’re into ‘80s slasher flicks and you’ve never seen Intruder, stop it! It’s so good. Set in a supermarket for what ends up being a literal graveyard shift, it’s gory and tense, but more surprisingly smart and funny. It’s also a chance to see oodles of legit 1980s groce

  • Purple Stuff: The Best Super Bowl Commercials!

    I’m not a big football guy — shocker, I know — but I always look forward to the Super Bowl. Hey, it’s an excuse to waste a day eating garbage food while snarking on social media. What’s not to love? Course, I’m really in it for the commercials… which just happ

  • Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, #2!

    Welcome to the second edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, starring creatures of all sorts and from all walks. Picking which five monsters to feature is always the hardest part. Am I in the mood for giant spiders, or is it a techno-organic robot hitman kind of day? If I take both, w

  • Video Store Adventure #7: California Video!

    So last year I told you about six video stores that were somehow still in business. Me and Jay went all over Jersey and Pennsylvania to find them, and I was convinced that we’d hit every last one within reasonable driving distance. Fortunately, I was wrong! Welcome to California Video, s

  • Dino Drac’s January Funpack!

    You know what solves the post-holiday blues? Retail therapy. Course, I might just be saying that because I have something to sell you. You never know with me. LIMITED TIME ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! Dino Drac’s January 2018 Funpack is finally here! I’m late-as-heck this month, so this o

  • Tiny Tributes To Minor Monsters, #1!

    Here are five tiny tributes to five minor monsters: Drakulon, Creature of Doom! Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot (1968) It blows my mind that Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot — the American edit of Japan’s Giant Robo — never became big-on-the-internet. In the series, Johnny

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 20!

    I’ve been digging through stacks of home-recorded VHS tapes, searching for more old TV commercials. It’s seriously one of my favorite things to do. I even wear a special outfit. Below: Another batch of retro TV commercials. This time, they’re all from the ‘90s, when grunge was big

  • Spooky Unsolved Mysteries Segments, Part III!

    At just around this time last year, the classic, Robert Stack-hosted episodes of Unsolved Mysteries began streaming on Amazon, Netflix and beyond. It was pretty much the best thing about 2017. …but if you stopped paying attention after the big launch, boy, you’ve missed a lot. Amaz

  • 11 Things I Loved About 2017.

    2017 was meme-level ridiculous, but I’d rather remember the good parts than the bad parts. Even if those good parts mostly involved sushi and Zima. Below are eleven things I loved about this year. I hope you can find at least as many things that you loved about it, too. Give it a sho

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon.

    I drew pictures representing five Christmas memories, and then wrote about them. I’m super good at never going viral. Just to get this out of the way: Yes I draw like I’m five and no it’s not for effect. Underneath the Christmas Tree! I used to love laying under the Christmas tree. I