Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Grimace from McDonald’s used to be evil.

    Y’all remember Grimace, right? The purple dude, I mean. Ronald McDonald’s de facto best friend. Throughout my childhood, Grimace was constantly on television, making commercial breaks tolerable with his adorably dopey demeanor and never-say-never attitude. (I’ll remind you that he on

  • Purple Stuff: Spooky Songs Part IV!

    It might not feel like it, but it’s the first day of autumn! Nobody can deny that we’re in the Halloween season now. If you were holding off on taping up cardboard skulls or transforming into a bat or whatever, now is the time! To help ring in the best season of the year, we’re

  • 2017’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 2!

    I’m back with more of this year’s hottest Halloween junk food. Some are new for 2017, others are just new to Dino Drac. If you missed Part 1, start there! Since three of these are pumpkin spice-related, I’ll admit that my prediction about last year being THE last year for the pum

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 17!

    Get set for another batch of Classic Creepy Commercials, featuring everything from horror movies to space aliens to bugs made out of Play-Doh. We’re gonna have a time! The Official Boglins Hotline! (1988) Yep, this was a real thing that really happened. An official Boglins hotline! As I

  • Pepsi Halloween Cola: Video Taste Test!

    What was that old Jean Grey quote? Something about evolution leaping forward every few hundred millennia? Keep it in mind. PEPSI HALLOWEEN COLA. Yes, this is a real thing. Unfortunately, as of now, it’s only a thing that exists in Japan. I spent way too much money importing the stuff so

  • Dino Drac’s Spooky September Funpack!

    The Halloween season is a time for frights, yes, but it’s also a time for frivolities. At least, that’s what I need to say when I’m about to hock boxes of spooky nonsense. Available in the United States only! Dino Drac’s September Funpack is (finally) here! If you don’t know the

  • 5 Legit ’80s Toys Spotted in Child’s Play!

    Remember the opening scene of 1988’s Child’s Play? Detective Mike Norris (Chris Sarandon) chases serial killer Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif) into a toy store. Nearing death, Ray uses a voodoo spell to transfer his soul into a doll, signaling the start of a cheeky slasher series that’

  • 2017’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 1!

    We judge each Halloween season on the strength of its junk food. That’s just how we roll. Lots of interesting new candies? Great season. Nothing worth taking pictures of in Target? Bad season. So how is 2017 looking so far? Pretty good! Sure, we don’t have the knockout punch of a Frute

  • Purple Stuff: Pumpkin Spice Donuts at Krispy Kreme!

    Happy Friday! Here’s a new podcast to kick off the weekend. It’s about Halloween doughnuts! We know we’d promised a regular full-length episode this week, but we had to shift gears to make room for today’s once-a-year opportunity. For whatever reason, Krispy Kreme c

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 16!

    The return of the Halloween Countdown means that I get to dust off one of my favorite recurring Dino Drac features: Classic Creepy Commercials! Since I’ve now covered well over 100 spooky commercials, the pickings are slim and I’ll need to get creative. So like, my apologies to those

  • Madd Matt returns with more Halloween garbage.

    I wasn’t expecting to finish this tonight, but thank God I did, because the idea of having to sell a Madd Matt video early in the morning was making me sick. In MM’s second video for the 2017 Halloween season, he’s reviewing another bag of random Halloween junk. Seems lik

  • ’80s and ’90s Halloween Photo Album!

    We remember yesteryear’s Halloweens in dribs and drabs, and then we fill in the blanks with rosy idealizations. Generalities become specificities, and the line between “kinda happened” and “really happened” is blurry AF. It’s that way with all matters of nostalgia, so when I fi

  • Frosted Chocolate Fudge Halloween Pop-Tarts!

    So let’s talk about Pop-Tarts. Let’s talk about Pop-Tarts for the whole day. New for the 2017 Halloween season, get a load of Frosted Chocolate Fudge Printed Fun Pop-Tarts! We get new fall-themed Pop-Tart flavors pretty regularly, but this is the first time in a long time that Kellogg

  • 7-Eleven’s Ghost White Gummi Slurpee!

    This article will be short and sweet. Extreme emphasis on the sweet. I dropped by 7-Eleven for an enormous cup of coffee, meant to be my fuel for an entirely different sort of article that I’d planned to write today. Suffice to say, my priorities have changed. BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS: The g

  • The Official Ghoulies II Music Video!

    Y’all have seen Ghoulies II, right? No? WELL YOU SHOULD. Here’s the deal: The first Ghoulies film is admirably weird and totally worth watching, but most of the movie’s fame stems from its classic promo art, which featured a little green monster popping out of a toilet. Unfortunately

  • Purple Stuff: Escape from Castle Dracula!

    Longtime readers know about my obsession with Castle Dracula, a famous dark ride that once graced the boardwalk in Wildwood, New Jersey. I’ve been to Wildwood several times since Castle Dracula burned down, and if I’m being honest, it just ain’t the same without it. New Purple Stuff

  • Old Halloween Newspaper Ads, #3!

    Here’s another batch of super old Halloween-themed newspaper ads, and a reminder that I love super old Halloween-themed newspaper ads. It’s nostalgia without the blinders on. VHS Horror Movies! (McCrory’s, 1988 & 1990) Throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s, it was common practice

  • Raiding Alice’s Fridge from Friday the 13th Part 2!

    During Friday the 13th Part 2’s cold open, Alice Hardy — the sole survivor from the first movie — was killed by Jason Voorhees. (Icepick to the temple, if you were wondering!) Perhaps more shocking than the way Alice croaked was what she saw just before it happened: See, Jaso

  • My Pet Monster, LIVE at Toys “R” Us!

    As My Pet Monster fans know, the well doesn’t run very deep. There’s the classic doll, a couple of spinoffs, a short-lived cartoon and that weird live-action movie. Once you’ve absorbed those things, you’ve pretty much read the book. …which is why it’s my great privileg

  • Dinosaur Dracula’s 2017 Halloween Countdown!

    There’s a scene in Hellraiser: Bloodline where these goofy twin brothers get twisted into one writhing Cenobite. For the next two months, that’s us. Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s 2017 Halloween Countdown. (WARNING: GORY! GO FULL-SCREEN ON YOUTUBE!) (You watched that, right? You’re