Food – Current

This article will be short and sweet. Extreme emphasis on the sweet. I dropped by 7-Eleven for an enormous cup of coffee, meant to be my fuel for an entirely different sort of article that I’d planned to write today. Suffice to say, my priorities have changed. BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS: The g

I FOUND THEM. Had to drive to the freakin’ Bronx in nonstop traffic on a Friday night, BUT I FOUND THEM. Behold, the 2017 General Mills Monster Cereals! After last year’s misfire with that whole “election” theme, I’d call this a return to form. Some folks wanted General Mills to

Zima is back, baby. From now through the end of summer, you can find six-packs of Zima — yes, honest-to-goodness original Zima — wherever bottles of happy juice are sold. The “clearmalt” beverage debuted in 1993 and was immediately popular, thanks to a look and taste that w

We’re all excited about Kong: Skull Island, right? I am, at least. The gorilla is one thing, but the idea of a nightmarish island where evolution plays by wickedly different rules is enough to make me see any Kong movie. The fact that this one stars John F’n Goodman just makes it an ev

Christmas is a little over a week away. I’m horrified. Counting Halloween’s early burn, I’ve spent nearly five months using holiday nonsense to spackle every crack in my heart — “spackle every crack in my heart” of course being an unused lyric from the back pages of Whites

The Christmas/holiday season never beats Halloween on the candy front, but you still get plenty of reasons to jump for junk food joy and gain forty pounds. Judging by what I’ve seen so far, the 2016 season brings an unusually robust assortment, with all manner of chips and chocolates com

I’ll say one thing about this year’s crop of Halloween junk food: It sure is big. Sooo many brands are only now taking their first swings at Halloween or autumnal releases, and good luck trying to sample it all by October 31st. The 2016 season hasn’t had many shout-from-the-rooftop s

Get set for another batch of 2016’s best Halloween junk food! (…with the same asterisk that we had last time. When I say “best,” I just mean “most interesting.” Sometimes, pretty things taste pretty bad!) Butterfinger Peanut Butter Skulls! These are terrific! I’m not sure

Many countries have their own exclusive Halloween snacks, and if they’re especially good, the rest of the world can only seethe and stew over their geographical plights. Or if you’re like me, you just spend a fortune on international shipping for weird Doritos. Below are three of Jap

Hot take: Hostess has quietly become the most dependable snack company of the Halloween season. Sorry, everyone else! The proof is in the literal pudding: THOSE BOXES, THO. They look like cheap backdrops for public access horror hosts, and I mean that in the best way. What’s really ende

Behold, some of 2016’s best Halloween junk food! (Well, I don’t always mean “best.” Sometimes just “noteworthy.” I hope you can forgive me this trespass. “2016’s Most Noteworthy Halloween Junk Food” just sounded so clunky.) This will be a multipart series, because my #1

I’d never heard of Wayback Burgers before last night, when a pal on Twitter told me that I had to locate one and travel there and eat things and take pictures and basically throw caution to the wind with respect to every other facet of my life except THIS one. And he was right. Today

Now more than ever, junk food is the lifeblood of the Halloween season. It’s how people like me stay motivated for two months straight. I don’t mean the act of eating junk food, mind you. That’s cool and all, but I’m talking about hunting it. Every year brings a new batch of Hallow

Even with its 80 trailers and 500 TV spots, excitement for the Ghostbusters reboot is being fueled as much by junk food. From Ecto Cooler to misshapen marshmallows to Key Lime Slime Twinkies, I can only hope that I have half as much fun watching the movie as I’ve had eating it. …an

It’s been four months since the last edition of Junk Food of the Gods, which means that I’ve missed the chance to immortalize so many limited edition snacks. I’m genuinely angry about this. I want to scream. All I can do is pick up where I left off. Down below: More junk food. Extra

A few hours ago, I heard a too-gentle knock on the front door. It was the FedEx guy, looking to make a delivery without any pesky conversation. That’s my kind of FedEx guy. Yes. It has arrived. ECTO COOLER. Last week, someone from Coca-Cola’s PR firm blessed me with the email to end al

What a ridiculously great time to be a Ghostbusters fan. Even aside from the new movie, the toys are starting to trickle into stores, and they’re all such must-buys that I’m already testing out shit faces in response to May’s AmEx bill. Then there’s Ecto Cooler’s return, now conf

Get ready to have your minds blown: Doritos 3D’s still exist. No, I’m not talking about those Jacked 3D things. I mean the really real deal versions. The ones that look like pregnant Bugles. THESE: But hold on. There’s a catch. To the best of my knowledge, Doritos 3D’s are only

Burger King’s Angriest Whopper is like a surprise hit of Halloween during springtime. They’re not advertising it this way, but it’s obviously a “sister burger” to the legendary (and infamous) Halloween Whopper. I love Burger King’s increasing obsession with dyeing bread, and I

It is my honor and privilege to present you with the internet’s very first hands-on review of Hostess’s GHOSTBUSTERS TWINKIES. Yes, my idea of a hot exclusive is screwy. Before anyone gets too excited, these aren’t in stores just yet, and may not be until much closer to the film’s

The Junk Food of the Gods series was last seen in July, before taking an extended break for the holidays. Now it’s back and it’s tanned and it can handle anything you want to throw at it. Below: Five of the most interesting junk foods currently on the market. Most of them will only

I have a bottle of Crystal Pepsi! And it only cost as much as dinner for two! I can’t imagine that many of you missed the news, but yes, Pepsi — inspired by an online campaign spearheaded by competitive eater L.A. Beast — has dusted off perhaps its most famously infamous soft

I’m back with another batch of this year’s hottest holiday junk food. If you missed the previous reasons to look like Santa, click here and here. Cracker Jack Holiday Sugar Cookie Popcorn! It took me over a month to find a bag, but it was worth the wait. I’m not a big Cracker Jack gu

Here's another batch of 2015's best holiday junk food, including Cheetos Sweetos, Snickers Trees and more good reasons to throw nutritional caution to the wind!

The holiday season is here! If you don’t believe me, just stroll down the nearest junk food aisle. Everything either tastes like peppermint or is shaped like a bell. I love it. Below are five of my favorite holiday junk foods for the 2015 season. Or maybe they’re just the first five th