Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • The 1993 Toys “R” Us Halloween Treat Box!

    It’s October of 1993. Mom drives you to Toys “R” Us to find a Halloween costume. Too old for Lamb Chop and too bashful for Aladdin, you settle on a cheap hockey mask and a pair of gnarly werewolf gloves. But here’s the best part: After Mom pays the bill, the cashier hands you a

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 19!

    The return of Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown means I get to dust off one of my favorite recurring features: Classic Creepy Commercials! If you weren’t around for the eighteen previous installments, this is where I gush about old spooky TV commercials. I’ve spent the last six months

  • The Creepiest GoBot of them all!

    Here’s an inordinate amount of words about a GoBots figure. I have my reasons! Meet Creepy, one of the evil Renegades. As far as insectoid robot monsters go, he’s aces. Ghoulish purple claws, toxic green paint, and a name that would make me love him even without those things. What make

  • Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes Review!

    Behold, my first big find of the 2018 Halloween season! Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes are in stores now, and guys, they are good. Maybe even grrrreat. I’ve never been the biggest pumpkin spice guy, but I like it when it works, and this stuff works. I figured it would, given that pretty mu

  • The 1990s Windows Mystery Screensaver!

    Back in the late ‘90s, I bought my first computer. It was hardly the first computer that I’d messed around on, but it was the first one that was all mine. I customized the shit out of it. By the time I was through, I don’t think there was a single default sound still in

    Treasures from the Halloween 4 Pharmacy!

    So, here’s something weird. I love Halloween 4 to death, yet the film doesn’t even crack my top 3 from that franchise. I’ve never considered myself nearly the Myers nut that so many of my friends are, but here I am, sweating over whether Halloween 4 beats Halloween H20 or not. Hallow

  • Dino Drac’s 2018 Halloween Countdown HAS BEGUN!

    There was this guy, Francis Bacon. English philosopher during the tail-end of the 1500s. I don’t know much about Mr. Bacon, but he had one really great quote: “In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s 2018 Halloween C

  • Purple Stuff: Spooky Songs Part V!

    Ask and you shall receive! Well, not usually, but this time. If you’ve been hankerin’ for a new Purple Stuff, we’re finally ready to deliver: Yes indeed, we’re kicking off the 2018 Halloween season with our fifth installment of SPOOKY SONGS. This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armp

  • Dino Drac’s August 2018 Funpack is here!

    I’m finally ready to unveil Dino Drac’s August Funpack! Really digging this one, guys. Took some odd roads to gather the materials for ‘em, and I’m pretty happy with how things turned out. AVAILABLE FOR 3 DAYS! UNITED STATES ONLY! There’s a dash of Halloween in the mix, too, sinc

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 28!

    Below are five more ancient TV commercials, plucked from my ginormous pile of dusty tapes. May they make you 10% happier for 2.5 minutes. Child’s Play 3! (1991) In terms of horror, the Child’s Play franchise was my first love. I was a late bloomer with a weak stomach, but Chucky al

  • The Pepsi “SEX” Can, from 1990!

    I’m here to tell you about the sexiest Pepsi can ever. That’s it, right there. It was one of the four Pepsi “Cool Cans” released in the summer of 1990. The soda was the same, but the cans were given various pop art makeovers to make them more attractive to younger demos. Special ed

  • Dino Drac’s July Funpack is here!

    It’s hard to believe, but this month marks the FOURTH anniversary of Dino Drac’s Funpacks. Yes, I’ve been at this for FOUR YEARS. Unreal! When I started this adventure, the goal was to survive one “last” Halloween Countdown, which I absolutely could not do without generating

  • Funko’s Freddy and Jason HORROR CEREALS!

    Y’all heard the news about Funko’s amazing line of cereals, right? They all look interesting, but two were of particular interest to me. You can probably guess which! Yep, we now have officially licensed Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees BREAKFAST CEREALS. I still can’t believe it. I

  • Pizza Hut’s Back to the Future Solar Shades!

    In November of 1989, Pizza Hut began selling funky sunglasses to promote the release of Back to the Future Part II. As a ten-year-old who liked Marty McFly, pizza and funky sunglasses, I was all the hell in on it. They were called SOLAR SHADES, and they were AMAZING. Meant to wink at the f

  • Flea Market Finds: Video Edition!

    I didn’t want to let the summer slip by without hitting a flea market at least once, so this past Saturday, I braved the sun and swore to never do that again. The Englishtown flea market in New Jersey did not disappoint. It rarely does. This is the same flea market I’ve written about m

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 27!

    To tie in with Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer event, everything featured in this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials has something to do with summertime. Or cruelty. Get set for ice cream, fried chicken and water-squirting robot men! Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars! (1991) I was never big on Butt

  • Humdrum Highlights from the Summer of ’93.

    Remember last year when I showed you some pages from my 1992 diary? Well, here’s the 1993 version: That’s the diary, right there. Or “journal,” because diaries were for girls, I guess? I kept this one during the summer of ’93. I was 14, though the book reads like it was writt

  • Forget Captain Planet. Meet Captain POLLUTION!

    Captain Pollution is the best thing that ever came out of the Captain Planet universe. Fight me. There’s my dude. Captain Planet’s evil double, which is pretty much my all-time favorite trope. Powered by pollution and sounding like a dickhead version of Michelangelo, Captain Pollution

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 44!

    To keep this edition of Five Random Action Figures on-brand for Cruel Summer, I will only feature figures that have some tangential tie to the season. Enjoy! Mike, The Sewer Surfer! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) This screwball Michelangelo was from a set of TMNT figures that gave our

  • 5 Horror Movie Popcorn Scenes!

    I love popcorn! I love popcorn so much that I get extraordinarily excited when it turns up in movies. Especially horror movies, where it often becomes a prop in bizarre murders involving alien clowns or unreasonably toxic spiders. Below: Five scenes from horror movies that feature popcorn.