Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 12!

    Happy December! It’s the month that moves too fast and costs too much, but I love it, and if you’re able to stomach me, I’m guessing that you love it, too. As is tradition, I dug through my piles of home-recorded VHS tapes searching for more ancient Christmas commercials. Here’s th

  • Toys from the ’87 JCPenney Xmas Catalog!

    My reviews of old toy catalogs are usually one-and-dones, but boy, I could write about this book forever: Behold, the 1987 JCPenney Christmas catalog. I was in my prime “toy years” when this baby hit mailboxes, and there is sooo much shit in these pages that I had, wanted or outright p

  • 2018’s Hottest Holiday Junk Food!

    ‘Tis the season for eating garbage and blaming the time of year, so let’s do that. Below are five of 2018’s hottest holiday junk foods. Some are new, others are just new to me. Grinch’s Green Pancakes! As soon as I heard about IHOP’s green pancakes, they were all I could thin

  • National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation!

    National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation isn’t just one of my favorite Christmas movies — it’s one of my favorite movies period. It’s a film that becomes more beloved with each and every viewing, and I can say that with confidence because I’ve seen the damn thing over a hundre

  • Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner!

    I was one of the lucky few who managed to snag a limited edition Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner kit. Yes, that’s a real thing that really exists. These weird ass Pringles were only available online and sold out in minutes, even despite a midnight drop. Naturally, the $15 kits then popped u

  • Dino Drac’s November Funpack is here!

    The November Funpack is always one of my favorites to put together. It’s a chance for me to create a sort of “2nd Thanksgiving” for y’all, where the turkey is replaced with candy and the blessings are replaced with, uh, Phantom of the Opera figures. UNITED STATES ONLY! ONLY AVAILAB

  • Toys from the ’88 JCPenney Xmas Catalog!

    Ah, the holiday season — my favorite excuse to blow money on old department store catalogs just so I can scan a few pics of action figures. It’s just what The Waitresses sang about. Let’s look at some highlights from the 1988 JCPenney Christmas catalog. I’ve reviewed other edit

  • Thanksgiving Memories in Crayon.

    Remember this article from last year, where I shared Christmas memories and used crayon doodles for visual aids? Well, here’s the Thanksgiving version. Below are five bad drawings of five Thanksgiving memories. I’ll seize upon any excuse to render a turkey wing in burnt sienna. Macy

  • Purple Stuff: ’94 Macy’s TG Day Parade!

    Y’all know that I’m obsessed with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Hell, half of my “internet house” was built on the backs of those old parade reviews. I still watch it every year, and I’ll never stop. Entertainment value aside, those parades end up becoming such perfect po

  • Toys R Us Christmas Commercials from ’86!

    This’ll take a minute to explain. Exactly a minute. Time me. During the 1986 holiday season, Toys “R” Us unveiled a series of commercials hosted by giant anthropomorphized toys, like that amazing robot shown above. Each spot featured a different batch of 1986’s hottest playthings.

  • The Best of the 2018 Halloween Season!

    What did you guys think of the 2018 Halloween season? Were you happy with all of the candies, movies, events and nonsense? What are some of the things that you will forever associate with this specific Halloween season? …those were the questions we asked ourselves for a special Hallo

  • Burger King’s NIGHTMARE KING Burger!

    Burger King saved Halloween again: In what must be considered the sequel to 2015’s Halloween Whopper, Burger King has unleashed THE NIGHTMARE KING, a “burger” that’s more like a buffet. Pair that with their dark-as-night Scary Black Cherry Frozen Fanta, and you pretty much have to

  • Purple Stuff: Halloween Movie Review!

    I saw the new Halloween movie on Thursday night, with Jay from The Sexy Armpit. We hadn’t planned on doing a podcast about it, but why not? We spent an hour aimlessly running through the stuff we loved, the stuff we liked and the stuff we were maybe not totally sure about, but the non-sp

  • Dino Drac’s Halloween 2018 Funpack!

    I’m finally ready to unveil Dino Drac’s 2018 Halloween Funpack! Sadly, there’s a catch! UNITED STATES ONLY! This one is already sold out! At least, it will be by the time most of you see this! (Sorry, but I warned ya… the best way to guarantee yourself a Halloween Funpack was t

  • Horror Toys from Old Cereal Boxes!

    I’ll be honest: I wrote the rest of this article first, and saved the intro for last. Then I forgot to write it. Now I’m five minutes away from my arbitrary publishing deadline, and I have no intro. Words. Aalsalslals. Aososdoso. There, now this looks like a paragraph. Below: Three cer

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 21!

    I’m halfway back from an unexpected break, because October likes to hand me more tricks than treats. Here’s the latest edition of Classic Creepy Commercials. Garfield’s Halloween Adventure! (1998) This CBS promo from 1998 celebrated the first airing of Garfield’s Halloween Adve

  • WPIX’s SHOCKTOBER Marathon, from 1992!

    I know you’ve heard me sing this song before, but before now, I didn’t have the proper materials to hit the right notes. Indulge me, please. I need to talk about SHOCKTOBER. SHOCKTOBER was an October-long stunt that WPIX ran in the early ‘90s. Every weeknight at 8PM sharp, WPIX broke

  • Dino Drac’s Envelopes of Evil are back!

    A few people asked if I planned to bring back Dino Drac’s Envelopes of Evil. Well, yes! Running this site is mad expensive during the Halloween season. I need some green to go with all of that orange. LIMITED TIME ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! With that, it’s time to unveil Dino Drac’s E

  • The 2018 Halloween Mood Table!

    It’s October 1st, and you know what that means. The tradition must continue! It’s time to unveil my 2018 Halloween Mood Table!  WATCH IN HD ON YOUTUBE! …which is more of a Halloween Mood Creature, but we’ll get to that in a minute. I invented the Halloween Mood Table bac

  • Halloween Appetizer Recipes!

    You know how I bombard you with weird appetizer recipes every Christmas season? I’d like to start doing the same for Halloween. You can’t stop me. I’ve been collecting these little Halloween recipe books for longer than you’ve been alive. They’re placed near the registers in ever