Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Ancient Holiday Appetizers, Part 6!

    Wellp, it’s time for my favorite Dino Drac feature. Get set for more weird holiday appetizers! As is now an annual tradition, I dug into my vast collection of ancient recipe books, searching for snacks that’ve fallen out of fashion. I’ve been doing that for longer than I’ve even ha

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon, Volume III!

    I know that I just posted one of these “Christmas Memories in Crayon” articles last week, but would you mind if I went back to the well? Inspiration hits where it hits. Below: Five more memories from long ago Christmases, rendered in crayon. Yuletide Yoda! As you know, my family opens

  • Dino Drac’s December Funpack is here!

    Dino Drac’s December 2018 Funpack is here, and guys, it’s Christmas in a box. I’m like Santa if Santa was a for-profit business. AVAILABLE FOR THREE DAYS ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! I assume y’all know the drill by now. Dino Drac’s Funpacks are available on a subscription basis, an

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon, Volume II!

    Welcome to the second edition of my now-annual series, Christmas Memories in Crayon. (Not to be confused with my maybe-annual series, Thanksgiving Memories in Crayon.) Below are five mini-essays about assorted Christmas memories, supplemented by bad crayon doodles. I may have written about

  • 10 More Songs for your Holiday Playlist!

    I love Christmas music. No matter what the holiday season throws at you, it’s always there, ready to make something out of nothing. I pretty much listen to nothing but Christmas music in December, and even during those dark days when the world is a ginormous pain in the ass, it never fai

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 12!

    Happy December! It’s the month that moves too fast and costs too much, but I love it, and if you’re able to stomach me, I’m guessing that you love it, too. As is tradition, I dug through my piles of home-recorded VHS tapes searching for more ancient Christmas commercials. Here’s th

  • Toys from the ’87 JCPenney Xmas Catalog!

    My reviews of old toy catalogs are usually one-and-dones, but boy, I could write about this book forever: Behold, the 1987 JCPenney Christmas catalog. I was in my prime “toy years” when this baby hit mailboxes, and there is sooo much shit in these pages that I had, wanted or outright p

  • 2018’s Hottest Holiday Junk Food!

    ‘Tis the season for eating garbage and blaming the time of year, so let’s do that. Below are five of 2018’s hottest holiday junk foods. Some are new, others are just new to me. Grinch’s Green Pancakes! As soon as I heard about IHOP’s green pancakes, they were all I could thin

  • National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation!

    National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation isn’t just one of my favorite Christmas movies — it’s one of my favorite movies period. It’s a film that becomes more beloved with each and every viewing, and I can say that with confidence because I’ve seen the damn thing over a hundre

  • Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner!

    I was one of the lucky few who managed to snag a limited edition Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner kit. Yes, that’s a real thing that really exists. These weird ass Pringles were only available online and sold out in minutes, even despite a midnight drop. Naturally, the $15 kits then popped u

  • Dino Drac’s November Funpack is here!

    The November Funpack is always one of my favorites to put together. It’s a chance for me to create a sort of “2nd Thanksgiving” for y’all, where the turkey is replaced with candy and the blessings are replaced with, uh, Phantom of the Opera figures. UNITED STATES ONLY! ONLY AVAILAB

  • Toys from the ’88 JCPenney Xmas Catalog!

    Ah, the holiday season — my favorite excuse to blow money on old department store catalogs just so I can scan a few pics of action figures. It’s just what The Waitresses sang about. Let’s look at some highlights from the 1988 JCPenney Christmas catalog. I’ve reviewed other edit

  • Thanksgiving Memories in Crayon.

    Remember this article from last year, where I shared Christmas memories and used crayon doodles for visual aids? Well, here’s the Thanksgiving version. Below are five bad drawings of five Thanksgiving memories. I’ll seize upon any excuse to render a turkey wing in burnt sienna. Macy

  • Purple Stuff: ’94 Macy’s TG Day Parade!

    Y’all know that I’m obsessed with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Hell, half of my “internet house” was built on the backs of those old parade reviews. I still watch it every year, and I’ll never stop. Entertainment value aside, those parades end up becoming such perfect po

  • Toys R Us Christmas Commercials from ’86!

    This’ll take a minute to explain. Exactly a minute. Time me. During the 1986 holiday season, Toys “R” Us unveiled a series of commercials hosted by giant anthropomorphized toys, like that amazing robot shown above. Each spot featured a different batch of 1986’s hottest playthings.

  • The Best of the 2018 Halloween Season!

    What did you guys think of the 2018 Halloween season? Were you happy with all of the candies, movies, events and nonsense? What are some of the things that you will forever associate with this specific Halloween season? …those were the questions we asked ourselves for a special Hallo

  • Burger King’s NIGHTMARE KING Burger!

    Burger King saved Halloween again: In what must be considered the sequel to 2015’s Halloween Whopper, Burger King has unleashed THE NIGHTMARE KING, a “burger” that’s more like a buffet. Pair that with their dark-as-night Scary Black Cherry Frozen Fanta, and you pretty much have to

  • Purple Stuff: Halloween Movie Review!

    I saw the new Halloween movie on Thursday night, with Jay from The Sexy Armpit. We hadn’t planned on doing a podcast about it, but why not? We spent an hour aimlessly running through the stuff we loved, the stuff we liked and the stuff we were maybe not totally sure about, but the non-sp

  • Dino Drac’s Halloween 2018 Funpack!

    I’m finally ready to unveil Dino Drac’s 2018 Halloween Funpack! Sadly, there’s a catch! UNITED STATES ONLY! This one is already sold out! At least, it will be by the time most of you see this! (Sorry, but I warned ya… the best way to guarantee yourself a Halloween Funpack was t

  • Horror Toys from Old Cereal Boxes!

    I’ll be honest: I wrote the rest of this article first, and saved the intro for last. Then I forgot to write it. Now I’m five minutes away from my arbitrary publishing deadline, and I have no intro. Words. Aalsalslals. Aososdoso. There, now this looks like a paragraph. Below: Three cer