Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Humdrum Highlights from the Summer of ’93.

    Remember last year when I showed you some pages from my 1992 diary? Well, here’s the 1993 version: That’s the diary, right there. Or “journal,” because diaries were for girls, I guess? I kept this one during the summer of ’93. I was 14, though the book reads like it was writt

  • Forget Captain Planet. Meet Captain POLLUTION!

    Captain Pollution is the best thing that ever came out of the Captain Planet universe. Fight me. There’s my dude. Captain Planet’s evil double, which is pretty much my all-time favorite trope. Powered by pollution and sounding like a dickhead version of Michelangelo, Captain Pollution

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 44!

    To keep this edition of Five Random Action Figures on-brand for Cruel Summer, I will only feature figures that have some tangential tie to the season. Enjoy! Mike, The Sewer Surfer! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) This screwball Michelangelo was from a set of TMNT figures that gave our

  • 5 Horror Movie Popcorn Scenes!

    I love popcorn! I love popcorn so much that I get extraordinarily excited when it turns up in movies. Especially horror movies, where it often becomes a prop in bizarre murders involving alien clowns or unreasonably toxic spiders. Below: Five scenes from horror movies that feature popcorn.

  • Dino Drac’s June Funpack is here!

    I wanted this month’s Funpack to reflect Cruel Summer’s dual sunny/spooky theme, and I’m pretty sure I succeeded! UNITED STATES ONLY! AVAILABLE FOR 3 DAYS ONLY! Behold! There are around a dozen items in Dino Drac’s June Funpack, featuring a perfect mix of summertime treats and spoo

  • The Jaws Bar Ice Pop Taste Test!

    It is my great honor to introduce you to the coolest thing on Earth: THE JAWS BAR. If you listened to the last Purple Stuff episode, you heard us gush about these incredible shark-shaped treats, which are made in South Korea. So did our friend Nicole, who discovered that they were actually

  • Video: Talking Cryptkeeper “Beach Bum” Doll!

    Guys! I found the perfect subject for Cruel Summer’s first video: That thing. A Talking Cryptkeeper doll from 1993, where our pal is randomly dressed like a beach bum. Dude could be the mascot for Cruel Summer. Here’s everything you need to know about this sunny savage, in just under f

  • Super Mario Bros. 3 Happy Meal, from 1990!

    I’ve owned more Happy Meal sets than I can remember, but only a few transcended the novelty of “free toys.” Getting plastic baubles with my McNuggets was always welcome, but on certain occasions, those plastic baubles were my total reasons for being. The Super Mario Bros. 3 Happy Mea

  • Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer Starts Now!

    Dino Drac’s CRUEL SUMMER… has begun! WATCH IN HD ON YOUTUBE! Consider this my attempt to rediscover the joys of summer, because I gotta tell ya, it’s been my least favorite season for years now. The heat! The traffic! Those bugs! We spend our youth thinking of summer as a two-month b

  • Purple Stuff: The Ice Cream Show!

    Nothing screams “summertime” quite like ice cream. Except maybe the beach, or fireworks, or big gross slices of watermelon. Ice cream still gets my vote. To kick off our summer season, The Purple Stuff Podcast’s newest episode is all about ice cream. (Well, ice cream and frozen treat

  • Something’s Coming.

     Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer begins 6/9. (Nice.) Get excited! I’ll be back with regularly-scheduled stuff next week — but expect some biggies in June!

  • Dino Drac’s May 2018 Funpack is here!

    It’s here, it’s finally here! Dino Drac’s May Funpack is ready to give you a nostalgia rush and a sugar rush. It may also help you accessorize. Get a load of the goodies: AVAILABLE FOR 3 DAYS! UNITED STATES ONLY! There are over a dozen items in this one, running the gamut from hardco

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 26!

    In this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, we’re celebrating everything from Kool-Aid to Sunny D. And also a few things that aren’t drinks. Super Naturals! (1987) A line like Super Naturals could’ve only happened in the ‘80s, when the action figure market was white hot. By today

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 25!

    Time for another batch of ‘80s and ‘90s TV commercials, pulled from my ginormous collection of half-rotted VHS tapes. Get set for Ninja Turtles, Slurpees and gratuitously creepy PSAs.  Turtle Power Hotline! (1990) Kids! Call this special 900 number to listen to songs from the live-a

  • Halloween III is a Road Trip Movie.

    We’re long past the point where Halloween III: Season of the Witch needs defending. It’s now celebrated for the same reasons it was once vilified. In summary: It dared to be different. The film plays out more like a bleak 1970s sci-fi thriller than a chapter in an ‘80s slasher franch

  • Star Wars Solo Menu at Denny’s!

    It’s May the 4th. Star Wars Day. A time for fans to revel in Boss Nass gifs and four inch action figures. If you’re into Star Wars, I hope you enjoy it. If you’re not into Star Wars, I hope you enjoy telling everyone you’re not. May the 4th has something for everyone! Course, this

  • Dino Drac’s April Funpack is here!

    If I was successful, this month’s Funpack will help you remember the days when you walked into comic shops with crumpled bills and hours to kill. AVAILABLE FOR THREE DAYS! U.S. ONLY! Dino Drac’s April Funpack is here, and it’s seriously one of my favorites. It’s also way, way diffe

  • Vintage Comic Book Ads, Volume 12!

    Torn from the pages of comics that were far more valuable before said tearing commenced, here’s another batch of comic book ads from the ‘80s and ‘90s. TMNT Cereal with Pizza-Shaped Marshmallows! Ghost Rider #13, May 1991 I love how Ralston kept kids interested in Ninja Turtles Cerea

  • Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, #5!

    Time for the fifth edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters. I hope you like Chicken McNuggets and demons from Hell. The Grither! Tales from the Darkside (1986) The Grither was perhaps the most memorable monster ever featured on Tales from the Darkside — which is saying plenty when

  • 5 Super Rare Kool-Aid Flavors!

    Hi, I’m Matt, and I collect old Kool-Aid. Below are five of the most valuable packets in my collection. A few are so rare that even many hardcore Kool-Aid collectors probably have no idea that they exist. These are my babies, and I cradle them at night. Hallowe’en Cool Eerie Orange