Food – Current

After spending half of August gushing over Monster Cereals, I deliberately took a break from covering them – even as those swank retro boxes started piling up at Target. Please don’t confuse my silence with dispassion. I bought those fuckers in bulk the second I saw them. Even over a m

Halloween is JUST TOO CLOSE. Since it falls on a Thursday, I can’t shake the feeling that everything will putter out like the last season of Heroes. For all intents, Halloween is this weekend, and that is JUST TOO CLOSE. So I’m sort of just grabbing at everything now, determined to do

Okay guys, I have some big news. But before you get too excited, there’s a pretty major catch. MOUNTAIN DEW PITCH BLACK IS BACK! Yup. No joke. That’s a 2013 can of Halloween’s unofficially official soda. But here’s the catch… You’ll need to import it from freakin’ Malaysi

Hungry? Try these! I’m calling them Screamin’ Pumpkin Spice Chips Ahoywiches. When you can’t come up with something clever, come up with something long. Shown above is everything you’ll need. You could swap every ingredient out for another and make some other bizarre Halloween ice

I’ve been scouting Toaster Strudel for years now, waiting for Pillsbury to come out with the inevitable  “Halloween edition.”  Well, they finally did it! Course, it’s not as much a Halloween edition as an autumn edition, and even then, it’s not very explicit. Whatever. I don’

I’m taking a day off from Halloweening, because this just can’t wait. Three words, everyone. SUPER. MARIO. SOUP. New from Campbell’s, Mario and friends have finally been immortalized as broth-soaked pieces of pasta. I heard the news on Tumblr a week or so ago, but it was quickly forg

They’re BACK. The key points: 1. Jones Soda’s Halloween flavors have RETURNED. 2. This year, the collection includes Red Licorice, Candy Corn, Blood Orange and Caramel Apple. 3. I made a big long video about them! Enjoy. I’m gonna go spend an hour doing nothing productive.

Today was the day that all Targets were supposed to officially switch from “back to school” from “Halloween,” or so the said the rumor mill. Turns out, the news was only partially true. I had to hit three different Targets to finally escape the spread of schoolbags and notebooks, b

Last night’s trip to Target was looking like another fruitless pile of trashy despair. The “back to school” section was still in full swing, and Halloween was nowhere in sight. This would’ve been much more depressing had frozen raspberries not been on sale. But miracles do happen,

Another great thing about the 2013 Halloween season is that it isn’t just about the heavy hitters. Fruit Brute and Ghoul-Aid Jammers may be getting the bulk of the press, but even plenty of the simpler things are amazing. Don’t overlook ‘em! For example, take Fruit by the Foot’

I finally found them. THANK GOD. Now I can breathe again. I’d like to introduce you to the greatest thing that’s ever been served in a foil pouch: GHOUL-AID JAMMERS! *cheers* It’s great stuff. Amazing flavor, amazing packaging, amazing everything. One note: I didn’t

Happy Labor Day! Historically one of the worst days to post new content! Let’s celebrate with four minutes of me drinking coffee! Pumpkin K-Cups from Dunkin’ Donuts may sound like an acquired taste, but trust me, they’re GOOD. As someone who is cursed to love Halloween while

I’m trying to keep my Halloweenosity in check until 8/31, but it’s kinda hard when life keeps throwing things like this in my face: Yep, it’s Starburst Candy Corn! Fruit-flavored and appropriately colored, they’re ideal for people who hate the flavor of candy corn,

It’s been an absolutely crazy few days, and it’s all because of Fruity Yummy Mummy. (Okay. Frute Brute, too.) If you’ve been paying attention to Dino Drac and its ten thousand social media extensions, you know that I’ve been all over the “returning Monster Cereal” news. Well, i

Between 10AM and 12PM, I received word from three different readers about the cereals. At that point, Frute Brute was only a "possibly-maybe," but I had a confirmed Fruity Yummy Mummy sighting from an employee of a certain national chain.

The real world kept me from Dino Drac for a week, and now I’m all rusty. I have longer posts waiting to be written, but today calls for something breezy and brainless. How about cheese crackers shaped like squid? Ocean Creatures! I found them at Dollar Tree, and was immediately enamored

It all started with the marshmallows. Kraft’s “Strawberry Mallows” are pinker than pigs, and I can never say no to a new type of marshmallow. (I understand that these might not be new, but I’d never seen them before this weekend.) It’s a sick habit, really it is. I don’t even l

I’ve received no less than two dozen messages from readers eager to hear my thoughts about Nabisco’s new Watermelon Oreos. And if we remove the word “dozen” from the preceding statement, it’d actually be true. Behold, Watermelon Oreo cookies. On one hand bizarre, yet still perfec

I found patriotic Pop-Tarts. Okay, so exactly how popular are Pop-Tarts, anyway? I can’t name another food that gets anywhere near this many special editions. Kellogg’s goes nuts for every holiday, and I don’t just mean the big ones. If it’s on the calendar – any calendar – Kel

There’s a new Wolverine movie coming out next month. I know nothing about it. But I noticed that the internet was going crazy this morning, when news broke of a pair of Wolverine-themed hamburgers now available at Red Robin: I live for silly, fleeting promotions like this! Just imagine t

I found some new Twizzlers today. Most of you wouldn’t think that a new Twizzlers flavor is just cause for a complete and total shift in one’s religious beliefs and personal trajectory, but before you put a stamp on that stance, check out the photos in this review. Because Holy Jesus.

This is a wrestling post. If you’re not interested in wrestling, it’s also a cereal post. If you’re not interested in wrestling or cereal, well, I’m pretty zooted, and this could end up becoming a play-by-play of Roald Amundsen’s 1903 search for the Northwest Passage. Or maybe a

HOT NEWS: I found new Cheetos. Cheetos Mix-Ups blend four different types of Cheetos to create what I like to call “junk food as art.” It may be unhealthy, but fans of the gloriously absurd will not be able to ignore this. The bag doesn’t have any “limited time only” warnings, bu

I haven’t written about Kool-Aid in such a long time. It’s making me itch and scratch. Today is my remedy. New Kool-Aid “Liquid” drink mixes are wonderfully convenient and wonderful in general. I treasure the protracted powder/sugar/water process, but the truth is, there isn’t al

Today’s youth may take string cheese for granted, but me? No way. Never. I knew a world without string cheese, and it was as black as tar. Polly-O String Cheese came out when I was still in elementary school, and while I’m not motivated enough to do the math, that was, suffice to s