Dinosaur Dracula!
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    An ode to Pumpkin Spice Quaker Oatmeal.

    Okay guys, sometimes I lose my mind and write really odd things. Please forgive me for this giant poem about Quaker's limited edition Pumpkin Spice Oatmeal. Inspiration hits where it hits, y'know?

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    The 2015 Halloween Mood Table!

    The tradition continues! Come check out my 2015 Halloween Mood Table, and get directions on how to make your own! It's easy! You can consider it the Halloween season's Christmas tree.

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    This Monster Cereals Castle is amazing.

    General Mills never disappoints during the Halloween season. This year, you can cut up your Monster Cereal boxes to build a huge haunted castle, with little figures and everything! Unbelievably cool, and one of 2015's best spooky promos.

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    30 Haikus About Groceries.

    GROCERY SHOPPING! Here are thirty dumb haikus About what I saw.

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    The Coffee Cup Exhibition: Part 2!

    Uh oh — the coffee cups are back! If you recall, I asked Dino Drac readers to submit photos of their weirdest coffee cups, owing to morbid curiosity and probably worse. That was back in July. Over a hundred of you accepted the challenge, and I was so overwhelmed the sheer volume of s

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    The Coffee Cup Exhibition: Part 1!

    Back in July, I asked everyone to send in photos of their weirdest coffee mugs for an upcoming Dino Drac feature. A whole lotta you did. In fact, I was so daunted by the number of submissions that I shelved the idea for months. During that time, I expertly handled any emailed inquires by p

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    Happy Mother’s Day!

    Guys, we need to talk about this Mother’s Day card. I made it for my mother in 1986. 1987 at the absolute latest. Considering the card’s enormous size and use of strange paper, I can only assume it was an art project from grade school. The cover looks innocent enough, or at least as i

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    Make your own Virtual Christmas Tree!

    This holiday season is going way too fast. Before you know it, it’ll be big boring depressing January. Don’t waste what little time we have left! Do things! Do stupid things that are only okay to do at this time of year! I’m here to help. Tonight I’m gonna teach you how to make you

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    Thanksgiving is fantastic.

    Well, Thanksgiving kicked off with huge news. I’m sitting there watching a giant Kool-Aid Man roll by, and what does Matt Lauer announce? THE PENDING RETURN OF SHARKLEBERRY FIN. Oh my GOD. YESSSS! I’ll have more to say about this fantastic news later. This post is just meant to be

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    Shrunken Apple Head’s 10th Birthday!

    Oof. This one’s gonna be bittersweet for me. I’ll tell you why in a minute. Guys, it’s Shrunken Apple Head’s TENTH birthday! Shrunken Apple Head first appeared on X-Entertainment in 2003, as part of my ill-fated attempt to review an ancient Vincent Price “Shrunken Head” kit wit

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    Happy Halloween!

    Holy shit, it’s Halloween. Finally? Already?! The 2013 Halloween Countdown isn’t over yet (COME BACK TONIGHT!), but I hope you enjoyed it. More importantly, I hope you enjoyed the whole damn season. I know I have. Usually, Halloween gets here, and there’s a tiny voice inside me screa

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    The 2013 Halloween Mood Table!

    It’s October. Officially October. Undeniably October. I’m happy it’s here, but I’m also petrified. The Halloween season is moving so FAST this year! September flew by in what felt like a week, and I’m sure October will be no different. Be sure to make the most of it, guys. A good

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    Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel!

    I’ve been scouting Toaster Strudel for years now, waiting for Pillsbury to come out with the inevitable  “Halloween edition.”  Well, they finally did it! Course, it’s not as much a Halloween edition as an autumn edition, and even then, it’s not very explicit. Whatever. I don’

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    Halloween Color Blanks, Super-Sized!

    During last year’s Countdown, I tossed up a ditty about RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks – the “naked” vinyl figures that come with really inky markers to help you to bring them to life. I didn’t expect to be writing about them again, but the upgrade for 2013 is too major to sk

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    The “Terror Tires” Art Expo!

    PAGES: ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR Well guys, you didn’t let me down. Almost eighty of you participated in the Terror Tires Art Expo, successfully changing a boring ass tire graphic into incredibly Halloweeny works of art. Thanks a million to everyone who joined the fun. If you missed the d

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    My Pet Monster.

    It all started at a random junk store. Somewhere between the electric flyswatters, the bootleg Snuggies, and the breakfast cereals based on movies that haven’t been in theaters since 2010, I found this: An adorable tank, complete with a plastic palm tree. I’ve probably mentioned th

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    14 Photos of Snakeweed.

    I took fourteen photos of Snakeweed. See below. Photo #1: This is Snakeweed, one of the evil mutants from the new TMNT series. Which I suppose isn’t all that “new” anymore. The figure came out a while ago, but I normally only see the four Turtles in stores – never their assorted fr

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    Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments!

    You’ve been looking for a new place, and that ad in the paper hit all the right notes… Welcome to Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments! They’re safe, they’re spacious and they’re affordable! The building is still under construction, but it looks like a few tenants have already mov

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    I made you lunch.

    Guys, I made you lunch. You better eat it. It’s a sin to waste food. See that? It’s a Kraft “Singlestamp” cheese cutter, with a Cheesasaurus Rex theme. If you’ll recall, Cheesasaurus Rex was Kraft’s beloved Macaroni & Cheese mascot back in the ‘90s. He was big, he was

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    Work-a de art-a.

    Here’s the situation. Earlier tonight, we were informed of a surprise visit that was going to take place no more than ten minutes after the sudden warning. I had no issue with the person visiting, but since I was grimy, groggy and without time to clean up, I decided to sit this one out.

  • Freddy Krueger Popcorn Recipe!

    I just published an enormous feature, listing ten reasons for you to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Even though 90% of you have seen it a thousand times. Oh well. Maybe the feature will inspire you to make it a thousand and one? If it does, it’s important to do it

  • Song, Video, Plant, Candy, Book.

    Hello, and welcome to Saturday. It’s a lazy one for me. I want to bury myself under ten blankets and do absolutely nothing. Instead I will attempt to write about a song, a video, a plant, a candy and a book. It may prove to be my undoing.  The Dino Drac Song! My pal Brian


    The Wilton Megasaurus Disaster.

    It sounded so easy, but nothing ever is. I’d been waiting for the right moment to make use of this, and last night seemed like it. Released in 1999, it’s Wilton’s “MEGASAURUS” cake pan! I was drawn to it for obvious reasons, but that won’t keep me from naming them anyway. One,

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    Paas Mini-Monsters Easter Egg Kit!

    Easter is approaching. As longtime readers know, it’s far from my favorite holiday, owing to everything from its hideous pastel colors to the customary dish of a “leg of lamb”– something I find so atrocious that it took me a literal minute to even type it. But there are good th

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    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pet!

    I normally pay attention to Chia Pets only around Christmas, but since I was so busy a few months ago, I didn’t get to keep up the tradition. Maybe this is why I’ve felt so hollow. Thank God for the Ninja Turtles. Spotted just last night, it’s the official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtl