Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Mountain Dew VOODEW Soda Review!

    I’m pleased to announce that I’m finally ready to do the Dew. Mountain Dew VOODEW, that is! Nyuk nyuk nyuk. New for 2019, it’s a chalky white mystery flavor fronted by a faceless grim reaper in an orange cloak. I say with total sincerity that it doesn’t get any better than that. Th

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 22!

    Happy September! It’s arguably the best month of the year, but inarguably the month that kicks off the best quarter of the year. From now through 2020, we’ll always have some holiday-related bullshit to help us forget our troubles. Yes! Get set for the latest edition of Classic Creepy

  • Old Halloween Newspaper Ads, #6!

    The return of the Halloween Countdown means that I get to dust off one of my favorite spooky-themed article series, Old Halloween Newspaper Ads. It’s a deep dive into aspects of the season you’ve probably forgotten, all thanks to clippings from ancient newspapers. Get set to bask in th

  • Dino Drac’s 2019 Halloween Countdown!

    People like you and me, we spend most of our time just surviving. We distract ourselves as often as we can with whatever we can, but there’s always this quiet pulse of survival, like it’s what we’ll settle for even if it’s nowhere near what we’re hoping for. But then, for two mon

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Evil Clowns!

    While Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown doesn’t start until next Friday, it seems like many of you are counting this weekend as the official start of the spooky season. Well, good news: So is the Purple Stuff Podcast! As some of you will remember, our show was originally conceived as a H

  • Dino Drac’s Eerie August Funpack is here!

    Okay guys, it’s time. Dino Drac’s Eerie August Funpack is the first of three Halloween-themed Funpacks, and if you’re already a subscriber, good news: You’re locked in for all of them, assuming you don’t cancel! The rest of you will need to act quick, but hey, I’ve been warning

  • The Halloween Countdown is coming!

    Hey! Dinosaur Dracula’s 2019 Halloween Countdown begins on Friday, August 30th at 9PM. Here’s the teaser video, if ya missed it:  Of course, that means I have a TON to do, so don’t get worried if Dino Drac updates are next to nonexistent between now and then. I’m here, working i

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Pizza Party!

    Geez, I wasn’t sure if we’d make our deadline on this. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when not accomplishing something would be a total disaster. Just in the nick of time, here’s the concluding episode of the Purple Stuff Podcast’s SUMMER SATURDAYS event! This week, me and

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Flea Market Adventure!

    Summer Saturdays continues on the Purple Stuff Podcast! We decided to go on a little adventure for you guys, despite the 5000 degree weather: This week’s show covers our trip to the Englishtown Flea Market in New Jersey, which longtime readers should remember from several older Dino Drac

  • Dino Drac’s July Funpack is here!

    This month marks the FIFTH ANNIVERSARY of Dino Drac’s Funpacks, which sounds so impossible that I checked three times just to be sure. When I kicked off this endeavor way back in 2014, I never expected that I’d still be at it even a year later — let alone five! Thank you so much

  • Purple Stuff: Summer Q and A!

    First off, thanks for the big response to the Purple Stuff Podcast’s SUMMER SATURDAYS event. Last week’s ep did sweet numbers by our standards, and we appreciate the encouragement to continue blathering into microphones in extremely hot rooms with the AC turned off. This week’s episo

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Summer Songs!

    So if you didn’t hear the news, we’ll be releasing a new Purple Stuff Podcast every Saturday, all through July… starting today! It’s our SUMMER SATURDAYS event, celebrating the (admittedly few) things we love about these stupid boiling hot months. Me and Jay from The Sexy Armpi

  • Purple Stuff: The Upside Down Whopper!

    Yesterday, Burger King unveiled the UPSIDE DOWN WHOPPER, a special tie-in with Stranger Things. There were a few catches, of course. It was only available on June 21st, and only at eleven locations throughout the country. Fortunately, one of those locations was in Manhattan — so me

  • Batman 1989 Merch!

    Almost exactly thirty years ago, my parents took me to see Batman. When I call it a life-changing experience, it’s without a drip of hyperbole. The film permeated pop culture to the point where even a person who’d never seen the movie still felt like they were drowning in it. I was an

  • Dino Drac’s June Funpack is here!

    Now almost five years into doing these Funpacks, I can pretty accurately predict which ones are gonna sell out quick. I think this one will. That’s code for “act fast.” IN SHORT SUPPLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! Dino Drac’s June 2019 Funpack is here, and brother, it’s solid. There are

  • TMNT Cereal with HONEY OOZE, from 1991!

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal debuted in 1989 and lasted through late ‘92, which was pretty impressive for the kind of tie-in cereal that was usually only on shelves for a few months. The Turtles’ own longevity partly explains it, what with their live action films and their ten t

  • Halloween Chex Mix Recipe!

    I’m going to teach you how to make Halloween Chex Mix. Yep, in the middle of June. Above is a print ad from an October 1988 issue of some random magazine. Homemade Chex Mix is traditionally more of a winter thing, but thanks to this recipe for a “Hot ‘n Devilish” version, you’re

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 33!

    I’ve been doing some spring cleaning, because that’s technically still possible in June. I badly need to free up space, so as much as I’ll miss that Jenga game with half of the bricks missing, it’s all for the greater good. In the process, I dug up more piles of homebrew VHS tapes,

  • Stranger Things invades Baskin-Robbins!

    I’m so glad that I finally hopped on the Stranger Things bandwagon. Not only is it a great show, but it would’ve killed me to skip all of this wackadoo promo shit for its third season. First was that New Coke hoopla, and now the series has completely taken over Baskin-Robbins! It’s

  • Godzilla Burgers at Johnny Rockets!

    I’m leaving to catch Godzilla: King of the Monsters in about, oh, two hours. I have no idea if I can finish this review before showtime, but I’m gonna try, because these half-baked paragraphs about weird cheeseburgers are surprisingly time-sensitive. Yes, Godzilla has invaded Johnny Ro