I’m on a big project this week, which is eating my time and making me crazy, but at least temporarily funding my passion for cranberry-infused alcoholic beverages.
SPEAKING OF WHICH…
Today’s video is my review of Bud Light Lime’s “Cran-Brrr-Rita.” The margarita with a twist!
These are GOOD. They taste more sophisticated than they sound, and while I wouldn’t go for them often, they’re a perfect way to correlate the holidays with getting hammered.
They will only be available for a short time. Act now, assuming you are of age and have no aversion to bitter things.
This year’s run of holiday junk food looks to be pretty fantastic. I’ve already spotted many great things, and not just repeats from last year, either. I’m talking about all NEW things. Leading the way is a special box of Christmassy Capri Sun!
Capri Sun’s “Limited Time Holiday Packs” include ten pouches of “Jingle Berry” juice. It’s an excellent follow-up to Halloween’s Ghoul-Aid Jammers.
The box and pouches share a sweet holiday design, while the juice itself is a-okay. It’s supposed to be a strawberry/raspberry blend, but as I mention in the video, the flavor is much closer to cranberry. (Actually, I’m wondering if it really IS cranberry. Maybe Kraft got cold feet about calling it that because children like other berries better?)
Whatever the case, the Capri Sun Holiday Pack was the perfect way to “officially” kick off my season. It wasn’t until that juice hit my tongue that I felt okay about firing up the ol’ Christmas Jukebox.
Now I’m so there.
Oof. This one’s gonna be bittersweet for me. I’ll tell you why in a minute.
Guys, it’s Shrunken Apple Head’s TENTH birthday!
Shrunken Apple Head first appeared on X-Entertainment in 2003, as part of my ill-fated attempt to review an ancient Vincent Price “Shrunken Head” kit without actually owning one. He came out looking like the corpse of Doc Brown, and I had no reason to suspect that he’d last more than a few months, let alone TEN GODDAMNED YEARS.
I’ve shown you Shrunken Apple Head nearly every year since, not even letting major hurricanes get in my way. Now here’s how our pal looks in 2013:
Unfortunately, that’s only a recent picture – not one from today.
Which brings me to the “bittersweet” part.
Now that Shrunken Apple Head has matured, he’s taken on many new responsibilities. A few months ago, he even got a job. I have no idea what he does, but he’s perpetually stressed and almost always traveling.
In fact, he’s been gone for nearly a week now, off on another of his mysterious business trips. I hate this. I hate that I’m not spending Halloween with my whole family, and I hate that poor Shrunken Apple Head can’t be with us on his tenth birthday.
He hates it, too. I was on the phone with him a few days ago, and he could barely get a word out. Who wants to spend their birthday all alone in some crappy hotel, hundreds of miles from anyone or anything familiar?
But every cloud has a silver lining, even when the cloud is composed of weird things like ten-year-old fruit. A few of Shrunken Apple Head’s friends got together and… well, watch this:
Happy birthday, Shrunken Apple Head. Even with all of today’s candy and horror movies and costumes and mirth, we’re thinking of you.
While killing a few minutes at Walmart last night, I stumbled upon a costume that I could NOT leave without. This one:
The UNKNOWN PHANTOM costume!
The chances of me actually needing a Halloween costume this year are slim, but who could turn this down? It’s a full-body reaper outfit with blinking demon eyes!
BLINKING. DEMON. EYES.
Watch me try it on. It’ll only take three and half minutes:
October is just around the corner, which, of course, is our universal signal to kick our spooky celebrations into second gear. I have much to prepare, so pardon me if I rush through this!
Everyone knows about the Goosebumps books and TV series, but have you ever seen the amazing merchandise that came with them? There were weird toys, screwy decorations and even a sprawling line of school supplies.
Goosebumps also brought its fair share of Halloween costumes – and not just the standard rubber masks, either. Check this baby out: The voice-changing, glow-in-the-dark HAUNTED MASK, based on the same-named book and TV episode. Assuming your head is the size of a cantaloupe, it’s everything you could ever want from a facial disguise.
Get the whole story, in roughly five minutes: