The 2013 Christmas season hasn’t been especially hot for weird food, but if you look hard enough, there are a few big time players.
Like this one, for example. Post’s Pebbles cereal with a limited edition SUGAR COOKIE flavor. It looks good, it tastes good, and the box features Dino wearing Grinch dog antlers. I have exactly zero complaints.
Get the whole story in this sickly sweet video review:
For the life of me, I could not find this in stores. Still haven’t. I got so fed up with the fruitless department store runs that I gave in and ordered it from some third party seller on Amazon. If you’re dying for a box, try there!
I’m on a big project this week, which is eating my time and making me crazy, but at least temporarily funding my passion for cranberry-infused alcoholic beverages.
SPEAKING OF WHICH…
Today’s video is my review of Bud Light Lime’s “Cran-Brrr-Rita.” The margarita with a twist!
These are GOOD. They taste more sophisticated than they sound, and while I wouldn’t go for them often, they’re a perfect way to correlate the holidays with getting hammered.
They will only be available for a short time. Act now, assuming you are of age and have no aversion to bitter things.
This year’s run of holiday junk food looks to be pretty fantastic. I’ve already spotted many great things, and not just repeats from last year, either. I’m talking about all NEW things. Leading the way is a special box of Christmassy Capri Sun!
Capri Sun’s “Limited Time Holiday Packs” include ten pouches of “Jingle Berry” juice. It’s an excellent follow-up to Halloween’s Ghoul-Aid Jammers.
The box and pouches share a sweet holiday design, while the juice itself is a-okay. It’s supposed to be a strawberry/raspberry blend, but as I mention in the video, the flavor is much closer to cranberry. (Actually, I’m wondering if it really IS cranberry. Maybe Kraft got cold feet about calling it that because children like other berries better?)
Whatever the case, the Capri Sun Holiday Pack was the perfect way to “officially” kick off my season. It wasn’t until that juice hit my tongue that I felt okay about firing up the ol’ Christmas Jukebox.
Now I’m so there.
Oof. This one’s gonna be bittersweet for me. I’ll tell you why in a minute.
Guys, it’s Shrunken Apple Head’s TENTH birthday!
Shrunken Apple Head first appeared on X-Entertainment in 2003, as part of my ill-fated attempt to review an ancient Vincent Price “Shrunken Head” kit without actually owning one. He came out looking like the corpse of Doc Brown, and I had no reason to suspect that he’d last more than a few months, let alone TEN GODDAMNED YEARS.
I’ve shown you Shrunken Apple Head nearly every year since, not even letting major hurricanes get in my way. Now here’s how our pal looks in 2013:
Unfortunately, that’s only a recent picture – not one from today.
Which brings me to the “bittersweet” part.
Now that Shrunken Apple Head has matured, he’s taken on many new responsibilities. A few months ago, he even got a job. I have no idea what he does, but he’s perpetually stressed and almost always traveling.
In fact, he’s been gone for nearly a week now, off on another of his mysterious business trips. I hate this. I hate that I’m not spending Halloween with my whole family, and I hate that poor Shrunken Apple Head can’t be with us on his tenth birthday.
He hates it, too. I was on the phone with him a few days ago, and he could barely get a word out. Who wants to spend their birthday all alone in some crappy hotel, hundreds of miles from anyone or anything familiar?
But every cloud has a silver lining, even when the cloud is composed of weird things like ten-year-old fruit. A few of Shrunken Apple Head’s friends got together and… well, watch this:
Happy birthday, Shrunken Apple Head. Even with all of today’s candy and horror movies and costumes and mirth, we’re thinking of you.