Dinosaur Dracula!

HALLOWEEN, 2014!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

For once in my life, I actually have plans tonight, so you’ll forgive me if this post has six more typos than usual.

I hope you’ve enjoyed Dinosaur Dracula’s 2014 Halloween Countdown! To tell you the truth, I’m not at all ready for it to end. Even with over 40 reviews in the can, I’d collected enough goodies for at least 15 more. I mean, I didn’t even get to write about the most ‘80s Halloween commercial ever!

(Thanks, Larry P., for donating that one. I cannot unsee it.)

But I guess the finiteness is part of what makes this season so special, right? If we were surrounded by Halloween all year, maybe its shine would dim. Maybe we’d stop being excited about plastic pails and dead leaves and little packets of Peanut M&M’s. I guess what I’m saying is… PLEASE GOD, GIVE US ONE MORE MONTH.

I came into this season wondering if it could ever top 2013’s, and while I’m not sure that is has, it’s come pretty damn close. Ghostbusters Donuts! Cheetos shaped like bones! Chia Zombies! And that’s just for starters! A solid 9 out of 10 for the 2014 Halloween season, and the only reason it isn’t a 10 is because I want people to think I put thought into the number.

Of course, Halloween is about more than the stuff you find in stores. It’s also about all of the little moments you create. I hope your season was full of chilly walks, pumpkin carving, scary movies on stormy nights, cocktails colored to resemble blood, and maybe a few solid hours with paper and crayons.

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I’ve had a blast with this year’s Countdown. I always leave it wishing I’d done more, but, all told, I’m pretty happy with this year’s “website haul.” I hope you are, too. These are some of the site’s busiest months, but what makes the Countdown so special to me is that a fair number of you look to it for your “Halloween fix.” I can’t thank you enough for being a part of this, because your patronage justified me devoting two entire months to nothing but Halloween. Which, if you think about it, was reward enough in itself.

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Poor Shrunken Apple Head is getting the shaft this year. Longtime readers know that it’s his birthday. I typically devote an entire post to the celebration, but there just wasn’t time. Sorry, buddy. I’ll make it up to you in November. I’ll take you to Costco and let you sample everything twice.

And speaking of narrowly missed marks, there are a few things I gotta plug before October ends!

#1: You can hear me on the Nerd Lunch Podcast’s Halloween episode. It’s me and three other guys. More accurately, it’s three guys with a fourth guy who’d very obviously never done a podcast before. Hear us talk about everything from Halloween costumes to Halloween candy! Thanks, Nerd Lunch, for like, letting me ramble like incoherently like.

#2: I spent most of the season watching familiar movies that I’ve already seen ten billion times, but Meet Me There was a new one. And a great one. I’m biased since my friend Brandon wrote it, but still! Meet Me There is sort of a psychological thriller mashed with a out-of-our-element horror movie, and as an added bonus, it features Dustin Runnels of WWE fame. It’s not available just yet, but I recommend putting it on your radar!

#3: I’ve plugged this before, but one last blast before it’s passé: I played a tiny part in The Sexy Armpit’s 2014 Halloween special, which is hilarious and also features cameos from some of my favorite internet people. Go check it out!

#4: Not really a “plug,” but just a catchall “thank you” to all of the people who helped promote the site during the Countdown, whether through retweets or Facebook shares or blog posts or high-priced skywriting. Super appreciated!

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I’ve been running giveaways for those Dinosaur Dracula trading cards, but it looks like fell short of my goal of 15. Let’s make up for that with this post. Today, I’m giving away FOUR sets! All you have to do is comment to enter. (Sorry, “n/t” or bullshit comments aren’t counted!) I’ll randomly select four winners on November 1st at 3PM. If you want to enter but don’t know what to talk about, just tell the world what you’re doing for Halloween.

(And thank you again, Magic Steve and friends, for doing such a terrific job on these!)

Halloween falling on a Friday is just so weird. Not weird in a bad way, but… weird. Will we successfully extend it into a weekend-long celebration, or will reading “November 1” on the calendar tomorrow effectively kill our spirit? I think you should play it safe and do as many Halloweeny things as possible, TODAY.

Even if you curl up on the couch with the lights off to watch the excessively trimmed network airing of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, that’s good enough for me. Just don’t waste a day like this. You only get a day like this once a year.

Dinosaur Dracula will soon move onto its next season, but before it does, let’s raise our glasses to Halloween. The greatest time of year. I can’t wait to buy so much spooky shit for 75% off tomorrow.

Have an excellent Halloween!

Worried about the post-Halloween blues? Subscribing to Dino Drac’s monthly Funpacks could be the solution! Sign up now, and you’ll start with the November 2014 Funpack! Just a few days left to subscribe!

Candy Corn Pebbles Cereal!

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Happy Saturday! With less than a week left before Halloween, I hope you’re taking advantage of the weekend by cramming in as many SPOOKY THINGS as possible. Don’t dawdle. You’re gonna miss it when its gone.

Might I suggest tracking down a box of Post’s new Candy Corn Pebbles cereal?

I’ve been trying to get my hands on this since the start of the Countdown, but around here, it didn’t hit stores until this week. I say this with confidence thanks to nigh-daily searches that left me with nothing but anguish. Oh well, it was totally worth the wait! See what I thought in three and a half minutes:

As I mention, the cereal looks and smells like candy corn, but the taste is neutral enough to make it safe for people who hate candy corn. It’s basically a less tangy Fruity Pebbles, or perhaps more accurately, a cross between Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles. Which I think is a first? (more…)

Madd Matt’s Vampire Doll, from 1988!

Madd Matt is back, and he has a new doll!

Actually, the doll isn’t new. It’s from 1988. Many of you should recognize this animated vampire figure, which for a time seemed as common a Halloween decoration as fake webs and plastic spider rings.

Part of a larger line of battery-operated monsters, I’ve long thought of them as cheap imitations of the much nicer Telco figures. (I don’t mean “cheap” as an insult. On the collectors’ market, those Telco “Motionettes” can go for several hundred dollars apiece, while this cruder Dracula frequently sells for a mere ten bucks. That’s how much I paid. Score!) (more…)

The Krispy Kreme Ghostbusters Donuts Review!

I woke up at 4AM. By 5, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit were on the road. Exhausted and delirious, we drove in darkness, finally reaching our destination around 90 minutes later. This was a big day! A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

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Yes, THE GHOSTBUSTERS DONUTS HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED AT KRISPY KREME.

Sweet Jesus. Two brand new limited edition Ghostbusters donuts, PLUS an amazing plastic Ghostbusters pail! See all of the incredible goodies in today’s video, which I shot and edited on ABSOLUTELY NO SLEEP!

Here are the major bullets for people who can’t spare four minutes: (more…)

The 2014 General Mills Monster Cereals!

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Oh yes, the Monster Cereals are back. After last year’s legendary haul, can General Mills top themselves? Probably not, but find out in this video review, covering both the “regular” AND Target-exclusive “retro” boxes!

(Special thanks to 2 Cool Ghouls for sending the “regular” boxes my way! You’re the best!)

Okay, so the bad news is that Frute Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy are back in the vault. A lot of folks are pissed about that, but I’m not. From a reasonable business perspective, it was tough to imagine General Mills dusting off FIVE cereals, each in two different boxes, for a second year in a row. There’s a law of diminishing returns with this sort of thing, after all. (more…)

Halloween Lunchables Dessert Packs!

My time management skills are really sucking today, but it isn’t midnight yet! I have fulfilled my obligations! Here’s a new video:

Tonight I’m reviewing the 2014 Halloween Lunchables dessert packs, which include “S’mores Dippers” and “Dirt Cakes.” They’re actually modified versions of things Kraft sells all year long, but the new spooky packaging is to die for.

As is typical for me, I recorded an entire food review without telling you what anything actually tastes like. So, the lowdown:

S’mores Dippers: My favorite of the two. They’re basically inside-out s’mores.

Dirt Cake: It works, but I’d rather eat the components separately on this one. Gummy worms are already perfection, y’know? I look at this less like a “kit” and more like a “TV dinner.”

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I have a vague recollection of Lunchables sneaking these out late last year, but the packaging is definitely all new. Love that Kraft is continuing this new tradition of “holiday Lunchables,” but I do hope we get a proper “lunch kit” to go with them!

Thanks for watching. (more…)